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child support/visitation

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What is the name of your state?Ohio

After 2 and half years, my ex girlfriend had me take a paternity test. I was at the birth and signed the certificate. We lived together off and on, and when she wasn't with me I was paying child support. I supported my son all the 2 and half years of his life. Now the DNA comes back that I am not the father. What are my options. I have really grown attached to him, as have my Mom and Dad. Can she just keep him from me now? Or in the sight of the law, am I his legal guardian also?

Please help!!!
 


If you are listed on the birth certificate and you were paying child support when she wasn't with you then it should be already legally established that you are the legal father. The DNA test is irrelevant other than whether or not it matters to you.
 
It does matter. We are so attached to him.....and actually we think the DNA is screwy because everone says how much he looks like me. So, I can proceed with my lawyer in seeking visitation rights?

I read somewhere in the laws that if I had my name on the birth certificate and had been paying child support, it would continue until the age of 18.
Can anyone verify that? I mean, that's actually a law in Ohio.
 

casa

Senior Member
whitedoveh said:
What is the name of your state?Ohio

After 2 and half years, my ex girlfriend had me take a paternity test. I was at the birth and signed the certificate. We lived together off and on, and when she wasn't with me I was paying child support. I supported my son all the 2 and half years of his life. Now the DNA comes back that I am not the father. What are my options. I have really grown attached to him, as have my Mom and Dad. Can she just keep him from me now? Or in the sight of the law, am I his legal guardian also?

Please help!!!

Genetics is an interesting thing- You have an aunt with blue eyes- He has an aunt with blue eyes..........

GROW UP!

Genetic testing is nearly infallible- You are not the Dad- some other guy with same enthenicity IS... :cool:
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
justlilolme said:
If you are listed on the birth certificate and you were paying child support when she wasn't with you then it should be already legally established that you are the legal father. The DNA test is irrelevant other than whether or not it matters to you.

Sorry but that isn't necessarily correct. He MAY be able to retain parental rights, but it isn't guaranteed at the child's age. The younger the child, the harder it is to retain parental rights. The older the child, the easier. He seriously needs to consult with an attorney if he wishes to try to retain parental rights.
 
I do have an attorney and the law says, as long as my name was on the birth certificate and I have paid child support from the beginning that I am legally bound until the age of 18 to that child.

Furthermore, my son has known no other Dad from the beginning, and if she cannot locate the real Dad, then he will have no Father if I am not allowed to help raise this child.
 

abstract99

Senior Member
whitedoveh said:
I do have an attorney and the law says, as long as my name was on the birth certificate and I have paid child support from the beginning that I am legally bound until the age of 18 to that child.

Furthermore, my son has known no other Dad from the beginning, and if she cannot locate the real Dad, then he will have no Father if I am not allowed to help raise this child.


Make sure that you have records of all CS payments and I wish you nothing but the best of luck. As a dad myself, I would die if that ever happend to me.
 
LdiJ, I stand corrected. Thank you.

To the OP - if you are already LEGALLY ESTABLISHED as the father of the child by being on the birth certificate and by paying child support then you MAY be able to obtain and retain parental rights to the child if you persue them.

The thing is that you need to talk to an attorney in your area and find out what it takes to LEGALLY ESTABLISH PATERNITY in your state and jurisdiction. In some places LEGAL PATERNITY cannot be established administratively and needs to be established judicially.

Talk to an attorney. If you are not yet LEGALLY ESTABLISHED as the father, in the eyes of the law for your state then get it established immediately and file for joint legal and physical custody of your child with specified parenting times.
 

dallas702

Senior Member
Justlilolme has a good point. The decisions made about cases like these have been all over the map for the past 15 years. You will be more at the mercy of the judge than anything, but if you want to BE the dad, and you have been there since day 1 (including the BC),and you are taking responsibility by paying CS when you aren't physically in the home, the judge will probably grant you legal dad status. But, you have to petition the court and do it by the book.

You never said if your support was court ordered. Do you have any formal documents (orders) defining support of "visitation" (one of the most demeaning and caustic terms ever devised in parental/family restructuring)? If not, now is the time to do it. Many judges might say that 2-1/2 with inconsistent time shared isn't sufficient to establish that parental bond, but many would tie the legal knot for you in an instant. The fly in the ointment is always when disagreements arise between "parents".....and when biodad shows up wanting to reclaim his child.

Get everything in front of a judge. He/she will help you work out a fair plan for now. Then, unfortunately you will always have to look over your shoulder for that biodad...even if you adopt.

Just be the best dad you can for as long as you can.

And, be the best friend to your ex-mate as you can. It will pay off big in the long run.
 
Yes there was a court order for support when the child was about one year old. And I do have records of my payments. Out of the 2 and one half years..the child may have lived outside of my home about 6 months. The rest of the time I paid child support by the court order

Yes, I do want to be the Dad that I have already been to him. We are closely bonded. His Mom and I could just not make things work. I think she knew from day one that I may not have been the real Dad....so this was deceiving on her part. I think this would work in my favor in front of a judge...not sure though. Furthermore, for the last 3 months she has withheld him from me totally and this is when I had to take her to court and she sprung the paternity test thing on me. He looks like me and the majority of my family thought so from day one. We are even thinking of having a second DNA run because we still are not convinced. Sorry if I sound childish.
 

abstract99

Senior Member
You will more than likely have to get permission either from mom or the courts for another DNA test if you want one. I don't think it is really necessary though. Chances are pretty decent that the courts will give you some type of custody as long as the real dad won't step up. Your best option would be to find the man that she cheated with and ask him to sign over custody to you. That way you will get the visitation that you want. Try to talk to mom just as if you were curious. Appeal to her side and chances are good that she will give you a name.
 

dallas702

Senior Member
Hardly "childish".

Any male (almost) can get some woman pregnant and claim "fatherhood. It takes a real man to step up and not only be a "dad", but also take resposibility in every other way.

It's a shame selfishness gets in the way of being good parents...even if it means sharing the child's time for his best interest...but you are doing the right thing and should never stop pursuing it. 2-5 years old is a critical bonding time. Your son will learn his sense of security about parents and other adults during this time.

You're doing the right thing. Judges like that and most always reward it.

One more thing. You mentioned elsewher that the mother is on welfare. If they are paying her for any kind of support for the child you will be liable for half of that amount to be paid back to the state. Paying your CS on time will offset most if not all of it, but as long as she is allowed to collect the money there is an "open account" with your name on it. Talk to them (welfare) about it so you know where you stand.
 
Last edited:
Thanks so much to all of you. I need encouragement at this point. I have a call in to my lawyer to hopefully get a temporary visitation order established until a hearing we have scheduled for May 20th.

Will keep you posted.
 
Just one more question. They have a hearing scheduled for May 20th. Since the DNA came back that I'm not the Dad, could that cancel the hearing...or is it still active? I am not very familiar with courts.

Also they had visitations set up for Saturdays noon to 6:00 p.m. and it is a 2 and 1/2 hr drive. Should I go ahead and go this Saturday. If she doesn't show up....since I'm not the bio father now, does that change the court order?
 

dallas702

Senior Member
1- The court will notify you if they cancel, but you still have a right to a hearing. The DNA is only part of the evidence to be heard.

2- Absolutely show up for the visitation. No matter whether the mother does or not. You be there, and on time. The judge wants to see if you are serious. Why else would he/she give you a lousy 6 hours to spend with a child you have been "fathering", knowing that you have to spend 5 hours on the road (to and from) to do it. It's a test. If you want to be a dad to this boy you'll have to play the game their way for awhile.

6 hours....pathetic!
 

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