childs rights to refuse?

[jjh9188]

oregon

how old does a child have to be before being able to refuse a visitation, or before being able to control when she sees the other parent? if a 16 year old who lives with her mother is legally supposed to visit her father for a month in the summer, is it legal to force her to go against her will for over that amount of time? is it legal for the child to refuse to go at all? if not, when will it be legal?

 

[snostar]

The child can decide for herself when she reaches the age of majority which is 18 in Oregon. Failure to comply with court orders can result in contempt charges against the violating parent.

 

[joan marie]

oregon

how old does a child have to be before being able to refuse a visitation, or before being able to control when she sees the other parent? if a 16 year old who lives with her mother is legally supposed to visit her father for a month in the summer, is it legal to force her to go against her will for over that amount of time? is it legal for the child to refuse to go at all? if not, when will it be legal?

In NJ I was just told that my 15 can decide if he wants to go on visits. IF you anticipate a problem this summer, Id go to court now to ensure that you are in compliance and to avoid contempt charges.

joan marie *

 

[BelizeBreeze]

In NJ I was just told that my 15 can decide if he wants to go on visits. IF you anticipate a problem this summer, Id go to court now to ensure that you are in compliance and to avoid contempt charges.

joan marie *

And I bet this was an attorney who told you this right?
BULLCRAP!

 

[snostar]

In NJ I was just told that my 15 can decide if he wants to go on visits. IF you anticipate a problem this summer, Id go to court now to ensure that you are in compliance and to avoid contempt charges.

joan marie *

What exactly does your case in NJ have to do with this poster? There needs to be a change in circumstance in order for a modification to be ordered. Where's the change in circumstance? The single fact that the daughter doesn't "want" to go is not going to cut it.

 

[joan marie]

And I bet this was an attorney who told you this right?
BULLCRAP!

No it was the judge after hearing the facts. She will also speak to the child herself. The child in question turns 16 7/05

I know each state is different thats why I listed what my experience was in NJ.

joan marie *

 

[djohnson]

There must have been a heck of a reason for a judge to take away a fathers visitation. Not likely in most cases.

 

[Ron1347]

oregon

how old does a child have to be before being able to refuse a visitation, or before being able to control when she sees the other parent? if a 16 year old who lives with her mother is legally supposed to visit her father for a month in the summer, is it legal to force her to go against her will for over that amount of time? is it legal for the child to refuse to go at all? if not, when will it be legal?

Umm...no...the child can't be 'forced' to visit 'beyond' what is specified in a court order. Correct me if I'm wrong here?

 

[nextwife]

I sure would not encourage my teen to believe she ONLY needs to do what SHE wants.

The time covered in the CO is REQUIRED. No, she need not do anything beyond that, but, when I was 15, I STILL had family obligations, and there were times I just went where my parents told me. PERIOD.

Gee, I can't imagine expecting to have parents pay for things I wanted, yet REFUSING to spend time with them? They sure would have, rightfully, told me what for.

 

[jjh9188]

yes, i'm the child in the case, i really just need to know what my rights are. am i allowed to say no? other than the fact that that would disrupt my life entirely, i'd also lose my job and miss summer cross-country training. a friend's colleage said her lawyer said her daughter could refuse visitation at 12. i thought the age was 16, but my mother seems to think it's 18. i also read somewhere that at 15, the child can revise visitation if it would 'greatly disrupt' things, which it would. so i'm really just confused.

 

[casa]

yes, i'm the child in the case, i really just need to know what my rights are. am i allowed to say no? other than the fact that that would disrupt my life entirely, i'd also lose my job and miss summer cross-country training. a friend's colleage said her lawyer said her daughter could refuse visitation at 12. i thought the age was 16, but my mother seems to think it's 18. i also read somewhere that at 15, the child can revise visitation if it would 'greatly disrupt' things, which it would. so i'm really just confused.

If you refuse- you open the door to the possibility of your father taking your mother to court for contempt of court order. The only way a child (at any age) can stop going on court ordered visitations is if a parent petitions the court and the court/judge determine that visiting would be detrimental to the child. (Very unlikely)

Extra-curriculars like cross-training are not more important than a parents time with their child. Neither is a summer job. Your best bet is to talk to Dad about how you feel.

 

[nextwife]

yes, i'm the child in the case, i really just need to know what my rights are. am i allowed to say no? other than the fact that that would disrupt my life entirely

Dear, consider reordering your priorities. Take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with your dad while you can. You don't have very many childhood years to really get to know him, or to really spend time sharing.

I was about a year older than you when my dad became suddenly, terminally ill with a brain tumor. Today I treasure all those evenings in my teens that we sat talking, or the hikes we took together in state parks, or what all. No running around a track could possbily have been more important than knowing the man who was my dad. Think long and hard about what you will really remember years from now, and that this is the ONLY dad you have.

 

[joan marie]

There must have been a heck of a reason for a judge to take away a fathers visitation. Not likely in most cases.

It was not one incident that restricted the fathers visitation, it was the pattern of behavior and neglect. The judge will speak to the children 12 & 15 and make a final decision.

joan marie *

 

[djohnson]

It was not one incident that restricted the fathers visitation, it was the pattern of behavior and neglect. The judge will speak to the children 12 & 15 and make a final decision.

joan marie *

Which doesn't apply to this case and gives this child false hope. This poster must continue what the court has ordered. Her mother can take the father back to court, but without one heck of a reason, the judge is not going to stop visitation.

 

[guest123]

Hi Sweetie,
I totally understand how you feel. As long as your mom does her best to have you AVAILABLE for visitation on the days specified, she is NOT required to FORCE you to go, and will NOT be held in contempt. It is highly unlikely that you will be forced to go, if you should refuse. Although legally you are a minor and required to go, you are 16, and the court would rather avoid your becoming a runaway--which at 16, presumably with a drivers license and cash, as you have a job, you can easily do.
If your mom has you AVAILABLE but you REFUSE to go, he is welcome to come get you. But may NOT physically force you into a car or plane, as that is assult and battery. Your mother is NOT required to physically force you into going.
Basically, although the law says you must go, and he might say you have to go, it is really in your hands and up to you.
Good luck!