Clothes on visitation

[stealth2]

Well, I'll tell ya.... I sent clothes until I got fed up with always hearing about what the kids were wearing. Not appropriate, not what he'd choose, *this* is what I'm wasting his support money on? Down to the kind of underwear our son wore. F*ck that. PAS? Right, try again. Maybe it's PAS to tell a kid that the clothes his Mom lets him wear is stuff only "bad" kids wear (we're talking about a kid between sizes of jeans w/a pair the size up rather than down). Or "Your Mom buys your clothes at *Target*? (sigh) We'll take you to Nordstroms and get you some decent clothes if you promise to be very careful with them." Or watching their Dad open their bags and throw everythign out on their granparents' lawn 'cause "you're not bringing ANYthing from these people."

Gimme a break.

 

[Mmaydawn]

In my opinion why should one parent be responsible for providing all clothing? Personally, I think the NCP should be providing the clothing for their children during there visitation time. I too have had this problem with the NCP. What the funny thing is I have been to his mother's house where he lives and have seen the closet full of clothes for the children yet they state they have no clothes for the children.

 

[jslopez711]

In my opinion why should one parent be responsible for providing all clothing? Personally, I think the NCP should be providing the clothing for their children during there visitation time. I too have had this problem with the NCP. What the funny thing is I have been to his mother's house where he lives and have seen the closet full of clothes for the children yet they state they have no clothes for the children.

You really can't be this obtuse can you??????? It's just clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lils]

Every case is unique in its own way......it seems that in the case of my boyfriend and his children that his ex is just doing it to make him spend money that he doesn't have. When she left, she cleaned out the house, took all of the clothes with her. Now she is in NJ and has them basically the entire year (not including the summer, which of course he will provide clothes for them during this time). She told him to buy clothes for them for the time he has with them (winter break, spring break, etc) which he would be more than happy to do, but they will be grown out of them before the next time he has them. They live in 2 different states, and it just doesn't make sense financially for him to go buy a wardrobe for his daughter (5) and son (14 months) to have them grown out out of it the next time they visit. I understand the need to have a basic wardrobe, but I don't see why it would be so hard to pack a few items for the kids. He has always returned everything, CLEAN, it has never been an issue.

I think most of the time these "trivial" arguments don't seem to have to the best interests of the children in mind, they are just control issues between the ex's. And it is frustrating!

 

[madmom41]

i used to send my kids with clothes to their dads, but i have recently stopped sending clothes with them, because they would never come home with the clothes i sent with them. their dad is very mad, but you know it does not say in our divorce papers where i have to send them with clothes, as a matter of fact if he wants to see them and wants them to come and stay then he has to have them clothes, that is the advice of my lawyer.....

 

[Mmaydawn]

You really can't be this obtuse can you??????? It's just clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is also both parents responsibilty to provide for their children. That is all I was saying.

 

[kcs00]

Call me crazy but what is CS for? Im on the other end of the rope on this subject. My husband pays an excessive amount of CS and the children doesnt have clothes or she doesnt send clothes with them is stupid. Now if your are sending the clothes like one poster said and they were being thrown in the yard yes I understand that. To the original poster do you really want to POSSIBLY go back to court over some clothes. Put yourself in the other parents shoes for a minute. I was there I one time it only hurts the children because the adults are being selfish. As for not getting the clothes back document everything you send. And what doesnt come back send a certified letter requesting the items. If she then ignores then file a case against her but dont stoop down to her level.

again my 2 cents

 

[casa]

LOL This topic comes up a lot.

Here, I'll share a story. NCP (not that it matters CP or NCP) never returned clothes. Kept them, lost them, ate them- who knows. I started getting cheap play outfits and sending them....still happened but was less irritating. Then I started getting complaints there were no 'nice clothes' to go 'out' in <as if they went anywhere > So I sent a bag with one of each outfit: PJs, shorts, pants, nice outfit. Never came back- oh wait maybe a sock here, shoe there, shirt there. I ended up providing outfits for my home AND the Xs home, just so the kid had clothes to wear! It ended up with me documenting all the clothing- another 6 months, same story. X flipped out again, wanted a whole new set of clothes because our child was growing out of them- I said we could sign agreement that we transfer the clothes to & fro....he wouldn't consent, so he took it to court- got lamblasted for wasting court time and ordered to provide his own clothing for visitation.

 

[stealth2]

It all becomes so petty, really. I'd be happy to send clothes with the kids - I'd just ask that I not get the negative comments and get them (or an equivalent) back - they don't even have to be washed. Our kids are dressed neatly & cleanly, and like their friends for the most part.

 

[StepMomInGA]

There is no CS

This is so frustrating to us because we DON'T get and support from the mom. This really wouldn't be too much of an issue if we would get it from her. But honestly, when the mom had custody and we paid support and did all of the traveling, we STILL bought the boy clothes and sent them back with him at the end of visitation. For the last couple of years that the mom had custody we started just keeping all of the clothes we bought him at our house for visitation since we would never see them again when we had sent them with him before.. The clothes WE bought for him were the only nice clothes he ever got, not the clothes from her. She'd rather spend it on her clothes or her boyfriend de jour..

Like I said before, we get no support, no help what-so-ever for anything from the mother, and she complains that we won't meet her halfway for her visitation with the boy.. oh well!

Ahh, that felt great..