Cohabitation

[Ohiogal]

Good lord, you people.


I have dealt with this exact thing in the court system in TN . Judges do weigh in on the even IF its not a divorce proceeding. Just in general child custody.

You HAVE NO CLUE. The caselaw is VERY specific and if a judge goes against caselaw based SPECIFICALLY AND TOTALLY ON COHABITATION they will be overturned as the Tennessee Supreme Court is VERY SPECIFIC. So knock it off.

 

[stealth2]

Obviously none of you have been through the TN court systems**************

Is that a statute in your pants, or are you just happy to see us?

 

[Ohiogal]

Obviously none of you have been through the TN court systems**************

Obviously you do not comprehend and understand the law nor do you know what happened in your case per the law and just tend to focus on what you wnat to focus upon. You need to comprehend exactly what is being stated. Then again maybe we need to speak strictly in ONE SYLLABLE words to you in order for you to get it.

 

[mommyof4]

Obviously none of you have been through the TN court systems**************

No, but I do know how to read a STATUTE and I am pretty certain that a judge cannot just make up the 'law' as s/he sees fit.

So, what exactly HAVE you done through the TN court? Any PROFESSIONAL experience?

 

[mommabearx1]

Obviously none of you have been through the TN court systems**************

If you're so familar with them it shouldn't be that hard to prove yourself. OG did and she is from OHIO, but she was still able to discredit what you said.

Questions for the Seniors. Can he file to have the custody order modify so that the significant other's ( either mom's BF or dad's GF) cannot reside in the home if the minor children are staying the night? My XH GF isn't allowed during our children's overnight visits. She has to be gone by 9pm and cannot return until 7am, is what our order says.
Also OP have you thought about ( depending on you alls relationship) maybe a little get to know each other dinner?? Just a thought

 

[Ohiogal]

If you're so familar with them it shouldn't be that hard to prove yourself. OG did and she is from OHIO, but she was still able to discredit what you said.

Questions for the Seniors. Can he file to have the custody order modify so that the significant other's ( either mom's BF or dad's GF) cannot reside in the home if the minor children are staying the night? My XH GF isn't allowed during our children's overnight visits. She has to be gone by 9pm and cannot return until 7am, is what our order says.
Also OP have you thought about ( depending on you alls realtionship) maybe a little get to know each other dinner?? Just a thought

When was your order set to say that? Does it mention her by name? Did you and he cohabitate? He would be better off getting a ROFR. TN is going to expect to see how the cohabitation is an issue negatively for the children -- regardless of what MWarren wishes.

 

[mommabearx1]

When was your order set to say that? Does it mention her by name? Did you and he cohabitate? He would be better off getting a ROFR. TN is going to expect to see how the cohabitation is an issue negatively for the children -- regardless of what MWarren wishes.

The order was set when we went back to set up unsupervised visits. We were already divorced. And yes it does specify her by name, because I knew her name and said I didn't want her there without them being married. My XH asked waht if they were engaged, I said no marry her or don't . And the judge agreed.

 

[stealth2]

Another link showing TN courts do prohibit it.

This is for the OP not everyone else




Cohabitation and the Constitution

The ACLU has filed suit in North Carolina to overturn a state law criminalizing cohabitation:
If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor.
The ACLU contends that this law violates the First, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution.

Cohabitation is illegal in seven states: Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia. Notice that Tennessee is not on the list. Arizona and New Mexico decriminalized cohabitation in 2001.

Even though Tennessee does not have a cohabitation law, the ACLU lawsuit could have implications for matrimonial law in the state. Some courts routinely prohibit cohabitation in orders dealing with child custody. But if cohabitation enjoys some degree of constitutional protection, this practice could be subject to challenge. Although the best interests of the child would likely remain the most important consideration, courts might be required to make specific findings on a case-by-case basis.

OP... warren posts no link, so you have no way of checking the validity of what it posts. However, you will also notice that, by it's very own post (note bolded sections above), cohabitation is not illegal in TN. Please, do yourself a favor and listen to what the attorney here has advised you.

 

[Ohiogal]

Another link showing TN courts do prohibit it.

This is for the OP not everyone else


Cohabitation and the Constitution

The ACLU has filed suit in North Carolina to overturn a state law criminalizing cohabitation:
If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor.
The ACLU contends that this law violates the First, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution.

Cohabitation is illegal in seven states: Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia. Notice that Tennessee is not on the list. Arizona and New Mexico decriminalized cohabitation in 2001.

Even though Tennessee does not have a cohabitation law, the ACLU lawsuit could have implications for matrimonial law in the state. Some courts routinely prohibit cohabitation in orders dealing with child custody. But if cohabitation enjoys some degree of constitutional protection, this practice could be subject to challenge. Although the best interests of the child would likely remain the most important consideration, courts might be required to make specific findings on a case-by-case basis.

And that proves nothing. It regards MATRIMONIAL law. It also deals primarily with NC. Put up or shut up. Cohabitation is NOT a deciding factor in custody issues. Which is the point. Just because someone is cohabitating does NOT mean they lose custody. Get over yourself.

 

[mommyof4]

Even though Tennessee does not have a cohabitation law, the ACLU lawsuit could have implications for matrimonial law in the state

.

Which is the CORRECT answer to the original question the OP asked.

Some courts routinely prohibit cohabitation in orders dealing with child custody. But if cohabitation enjoys some degree of constitutional protection, this practice could be subject to challenge. Although the best interests of the child would likely remain the most important consideration, courts might be required to make specific findings on a case-by-case basis.

Which would make it very easy for an appeal.

(As you have been clearly told)

This is not a credible TN link backing up the statute or case law that has been presented for your (and OP's) perusal.

So far, you have provided a statement from some random atty's website that appears to have been written by my 13 year old daughter and a statement about the ACLU taking 'action' against a law in NC, but that does not exist in TN.

 

[CloudySkies71]

Many thanks for all the many, many replies...

I am not looking to take her to court. I'm not even looking to change custody. I haven't been given ANY reason to think that this man will be a bad influence or is up to no good. How could I? My children have only met him once. There hasn't even been enough time for them to figure out if they like him or not.

I agree 100% on meeting with this man to find out what he's about. (Thank you to the poster who suggested that.) I am willing to sit down with him, and, according to my ex, so is he with me. I'm not opposed to them getting married or even living together. I'm simply concerned that they are doing it so SOON. My present wife, we cohabitated before marriage. But we had been exclusively together for two YEARS before doing so. And we had my ex's blessing. Of course, she is using that against me now to validate her own decision to move him in. She doesn't see the difference... she didn't worry that my girlfriend (now wife) could be a child molester. She knew her. This man- she doesn't even know where he grew up.

The whole idea makes me nervous- him moving in with my girls. I know there is nothing legally that can be done about it. I just want my girls to be safe. My ex isn't the best when it comes to making rational decisions... but that's another story. I do know that she met this gentleman through an internet dating site and that he is a recovering alcoholic. All I care about are my girls.

Thank you for the replies! I will look into the suggestion of hiring a private investigator. My father-in-law is a retired P.I. I will call him for advice. In the meantime I will definitely set up a meeting with this new guy.

Thanks again!

 

[Ohiogal]

Many thanks for all the many, many replies...

I am not looking to take her to court. I'm not even looking to change custody. I haven't been given ANY reason to think that this man will be a bad influence or is up to no good. How could I? My children have only met him once. There hasn't even been enough time for them to figure out if they like him or not.

I agree 100% on meeting with this man to find out what he's about. (Thank you to the poster who suggested that.) I am willing to sit down with him, and, according to my ex, so is he with me. I'm not opposed to them getting married or even living together. I'm simply concerned that they are doing it so SOON. My present wife, we cohabitated before marriage. But we had been exclusively together for two YEARS before doing so. And we had my ex's blessing. Of course, she is using that against me now to validate her own decision to move him in. She doesn't see the difference... she didn't worry that my girlfriend (now wife) could be a child molester. She knew her. This man- she doesn't even know where he grew up.

The whole idea makes me nervous- him moving in with my girls. I know there is nothing legally that can be done about it. I just want my girls to be safe. My ex isn't the best when it comes to making rational decisions... but that's another story. I do know that she met this gentleman through an internet dating site and that he is a recovering alcoholic. All I care about are my girls.

Thank you for the replies! I will look into the suggestion of hiring a private investigator. My father-in-law is a retired P.I. I will call him for advice. In the meantime I will definitely set up a meeting with this new guy.

Thanks again!

Sorry but you don't have a leg to stand on quite frankly. YOu are making excuses. He could also be a candidate for Sainthood.

 

[Humusluvr]

Many thanks for all the many, many replies...

I am not looking to take her to court. I'm not even looking to change custody. I haven't been given ANY reason to think that this man will be a bad influence or is up to no good. How could I? My children have only met him once. There hasn't even been enough time for them to figure out if they like him or not.

I agree 100% on meeting with this man to find out what he's about. (Thank you to the poster who suggested that.) I am willing to sit down with him, and, according to my ex, so is he with me. I'm not opposed to them getting married or even living together. I'm simply concerned that they are doing it so SOON. My present wife, we cohabitated before marriage. But we had been exclusively together for two YEARS before doing so. And we had my ex's blessing. Of course, she is using that against me now to validate her own decision to move him in. She doesn't see the difference... she didn't worry that my girlfriend (now wife) could be a child molester. She knew her. This man- she doesn't even know where he grew up.

The whole idea makes me nervous- him moving in with my girls. I know there is nothing legally that can be done about it. I just want my girls to be safe. My ex isn't the best when it comes to making rational decisions... but that's another story. I do know that she met this gentleman through an internet dating site and that he is a recovering alcoholic. All I care about are my girls.

Thank you for the replies! I will look into the suggestion of hiring a private investigator. My father-in-law is a retired P.I. I will call him for advice. In the meantime I will definitely set up a meeting with this new guy.

Thanks again!

I give you a lot of credit for going through your legal options, knowing that LEAGLLY you can't do anything about it - but pursuing your options.

Do a lot of Google searches. Consult the PI.

And I'm glad you want to keep your kiddos safe, but don't seem to be an over-the-top a-hole about it. You are acting reasonable and responsibly, IMHO.

Google People Search - How to Use Google to Find People on the Web

Also, keep in mind that if this person was met using an internet site, you can look at the site. Its all out there, on the net, for anyone to see. We, here at FA, often use people's screen names to look them up on the web to see what questionable things they may have posted elsewhere, or on myspace.

It's disheartening that your ex would allow someone into her home that she seems to know so little about 0 however, as was said before, he may be a saint.

Best of luck to you and your girls.

 

[mommabearx1]

I would also if these were my children (again if you can do this with mom that would be great too) discuss in a casual manner what is appropriate. As any parent my first concern is physical, sexual, and emtoional abuse. Since you have no proof of any of this taking place, now is a good time to educate your daughters on what is and isn't acceptable. I personally would make it very clear you won't accept any of the above abuse. But you can put a spin on it for your girls it makes it easier for everyone IMHO.

 

[wileybunch]

Since cohabitating is part of your moral code - both yours and your ex's -- I think you need to just let this go and don't make it an obsession and worry over it. I don't think there's any difference with you cohabitating with your current wife even though your ex "knew" her because no one ever truly "knows" someone else, it's only with time that someone never does do anything lewd that you can be sure they haven't! Your kids are also old enough to talk to you if they have any concerns if something happens that is illegal or that sort of thing (and that goes for whether it's this guy, their basketball coach, or girl scout leader).