Concerns about possible move?

[summerdawn]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca

Hi. I live in Southern California and I got married in May. My 3 little girls go to their father's house every other weekend and about half holidays.

We live in a pretty bad neighborhood, and are definitely moving when we get our taxes. We have looked at places close by, but are particularly interested in a smaller town type area. We feel it would be better for our family. Unfortunately, in the area of Southern California that we live in, small town is pretty much limited to the mountains, or a place where the drive would be several hours away, making it difficult and costly for us to get the kids to their drop off spot every other week. A few mountain towns are not so far away so we are considering those at this time. We have ruled out any town that would normally be more than an hour to an hour and a half's drive away.

One small mountain town we are considering heavily would be about 60 to 90 minute drive away from our current place. This is not too bad in itself, we don't mind the drive every two weeks. My biggest concern is that on very rare occasions we may not be able to get down the mountain due to snow. I was thinking that maybe I could try to work this out with the children's father in advance, by offering to work out makeup days for missed visits just in case the weather is extremely inclement. Our court order does not currently address any type of make up days for any reason.

Father used to live about two miles from us, but moved to a different county and he is currently about a 45 minutes drive away from the house we live in now. We would just meet him at the same drop off spot we already do, which would be just about in the middle of his town and the mountain town we are considering moving to.

Should I be concerned that dad could go to court and block me from moving because of the chance that we may occasionally not be able get down the mountain? Do you think I should rule out the mountain town and look harder for a place that is closer? We have 2 to 3 months to really get a firm idea of what area we want to move to, I am just exploring options because I want to be totally ready to move when we have the money. Thanks in advance for any help/insight you may be able to provide.

 

[Isis1]

I saw your name! So I'm waving !! HI!!!

Okay. Now I'll go read your post!

And congrats!!! I didn't even know you were engaged!!! Either that or I blame my lack to detail. :O

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca

Hi. I live in Southern California and I got married in May. My 3 little girls go to their father's house every other weekend and about half holidays.

We live in a pretty bad neighborhood, and are definitely moving when we get our taxes. We have looked at places close by, but are particularly interested in a smaller town type area. We feel it would be better for our family. Unfortunately, in the area of Southern California that we live in, small town is pretty much limited to the mountains, or a place where the drive would be several hours away, making it difficult and costly for us to get the kids to their drop off spot every other week. A few mountain towns are not so far away so we are considering those at this time. We have ruled out any town that would normally be more than an hour to an hour and a half's drive away.

One small mountain town we are considering heavily would be about 60 to 90 minute drive away from our current place. This is not too bad in itself, we don't mind the drive every two weeks. My biggest concern is that on very rare occasions we may not be able to get down the mountain due to snow. I was thinking that maybe I could try to work this out with the children's father in advance, by offering to work out makeup days for missed visits just in case the weather is extremely inclement. Our court order does not currently address any type of make up days for any reason.

Father used to live about two miles from us, but moved to a different county and he is currently about a 45 minutes drive away from the house we live in now. We would just meet him at the same drop off spot we already do, which would be just about in the middle of his town and the mountain town we are considering moving to.

Should I be concerned that dad could go to court and block me from moving because of the chance that we may occasionally not be able get down the mountain? Do you think I should rule out the mountain town and look harder for a place that is closer? We have 2 to 3 months to really get a firm idea of what area we want to move to, I am just exploring options because I want to be totally ready to move when we have the money. Thanks in advance for any help/insight you may be able to provide.

Dad can't block YOU from moving. He could, however, ask the court to prevent the kids from moving. That's an important difference.

The fact that he moved 45 minutes away is going to be a strong argument in your favor - plus the fact that your current situation is that you both drive to a central location and you're willing to drive the extra distance. It's going to be hard for Dad to argue that the move harms him.

As for the occasional days when you can't drive, I wouldn't mention it at this stage. I would, however, ask for a clause to be inserted stating that if the kids miss out on visitation due to an UNFORESEEN circumstance on EITHER parent's part that an equal amount of time can be exercised on request within a 30 day period.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ca
Father used to live about two miles from us, but moved to a different county and he is currently about a 45 minutes drive away from the house we live in now. We would just meet him at the same drop off spot we already do, which would be just about in the middle of his town and the mountain town we are considering moving to.

Misto--Dad moved first--an add'l 45 minutes away.
Given that their drop off/exchange location woulkdn't change, and she isn't asking him to bear any addl' expense, I'd say she's got a pretty fair shot of obtaining the court's ok, should Dad contest.

Should I be concerned that dad could go to court and block me from moving because of the chance that we may occasionally not be able get down the mountain? Do you think I should rule out the mountain town and look harder for a place that is closer? We have 2 to 3 months to really get a firm idea of what area we want to move to, I am just exploring options because I want to be totally ready to move when we have the money. Thanks in advance for any help/insight you may be able to provide.

What if you lived lower down or closer, you hit an incredible rainstorm that prevented you from getting the to exchange point as planned? What if you were driving to the exchange point and there was a 10 car pile up, delaying you for hours upon hours? What if as you drive to the exchange point, a sinckhole opens in the road in fron of you? What if God reached down and plucked your car from the road and set it in a tree?

See where I'm going here?

OP, I hope your ex is reasonable enough to understand that sometimes things happen we have no control over. As long as you both were understanding of this and willing to work out appropriate make up time, I feel you'd be ok.

 

[Isis1]

I'm almost positive it's not dad that she has to worry about. It's that wife of his that's scary!

 

[summerdawn]

Dad can't block YOU from moving. He could, however, ask the court to prevent the kids from moving. That's an important difference.

The fact that he moved 45 minutes away is going to be a strong argument in your favor - plus the fact that your current situation is that you both drive to a central location and you're willing to drive the extra distance. It's going to be hard for Dad to argue that the move harms him.

As for the occasional days when you can't drive, I wouldn't mention it at this stage. I would, however, ask for a clause to be inserted stating that if the kids miss out on visitation due to an UNFORESEEN circumstance on EITHER parent's part that an equal amount of time can be exercised on request within a 30 day period.

Actually, the "drop off spot" is the archway near my apartment buildings. We are willing to drive here from the new location though.

Would it look sneaky or manipulative for me to not mention it if it came up later in court? I really don't want any trouble with dad's legal parties. They can be vicious. lol

 

[summerdawn]

Misto--Dad moved first--an add'l 45 minutes away.
Given that their drop off/exchange location woulkdn't change, and she isn't asking him to bear any addl' expense, I'd say she's got a pretty fair shot of obtaining the court's ok, should Dad contest.





What if you lived lower down or closer, you hit an incredible rainstorm that prevented you from getting the to exchange point as planned? What if you were driving to the exchange point and there was a 10 car pile up, delaying you for hours upon hours? What if as you drive to the exchange point, a sinckhole opens in the road in fron of you? What if God reached down and plucked your car from the road and set it in a tree?

See where I'm going here?

OP, I hope your ex is reasonable enough to understand that sometimes things happen we have no control over. As long as you both were understanding of this and willing to work out appropriate make up time, I feel you'd be ok.

Your post made me crack up! LOL! I totally see your point.

 

[summerdawn]

I'm almost positive it's not dad that she has to worry about. It's that wife of his that's scary!

Yes, this is actually what the problem is. Dad is pretty congenial anymore. Unfortunately it is not usually him that I have contact with. she is the one who answers all the emails. When I said something about it to the mediator at the last court date, he said "Oh well, sometimes you just have to take what you can get."

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto--Dad moved first--an add'l 45 minutes away.
Given that their drop off/exchange location woulkdn't change, and she isn't asking him to bear any addl' expense, I'd say she's got a pretty fair shot of obtaining the court's ok, should Dad contest.

I think I said that - maybe not clearly enough.

I said Dad moved 45 minutes away. I should have made it clear that he moved 45 minutes away FIRST, so he's going to have a hard time complaining about her later move.

Anyway, we're saying the same thing.

 

[Antigone*]

Actually, the "drop off spot" is the archway near my apartment buildings. We are willing to drive here from the new location though.

Would it look sneaky or manipulative for me to not mention it if it came up later in court? I really don't want any trouble with dad's legal parties. They can be vicious. lol

Summer,

What does your CO say about moving and notification?

 

[summerdawn]

Summer,

What does your CO say about moving and notification?

It doesn't address moving at all. At the end it has the jargon about us being residents of *** county, and them having jurisdiction, and the kids not being at risk for abduction. We would still be in *** County so jurisdiction would stay the same as well. Not much would change at all.

Dad moved last time and gave me a fake address. I didn't find out his real addy for 6 months. Maybe it's time we put in something about moving and notification. lol

 

[Antigone*]

It doesn't address moving at all. At the end it has the jargon about us being residents of *** county, and them having jurisdiction, and the kids not being at risk for abduction. We would still be in *** County so jurisdiction would stay the same as well. Not much would change at all.

Dad moved last time and gave me a fake address. I didn't find out his real addy for 6 months. Maybe it's time we put in something about moving and notification. lol

Then you don't have to tell him anything about the move. If you're moving in the area I think you're moving ~ whooo hoooo.

 

[summerdawn]

Then you don't have to tell him anything about the move. If you're moving in the area I think you're moving ~ whooo hoooo.

Thanks!!! I'm super excited at the opportunity, if we can work it out!