I don't know enough about your situation, but I think the Garden of Eden approach would not be a good choice for you AT ALL. You cannot use that method under these circumstances and not expect it to backfire. GO TO COUNSELING. You do not need to take him 2-3x a week. In fact, if you ever did, he probably dislikes you for doing that! Once a week in the beginning if even that should be sufficient unless there's something going on that the counselor thinks is particularly dangerous or something like that. The child should not be made to feel they are abnormal or whatever. The child should know you love them and you want there to be more peace, cooperation, etc. You should not be in sessions with your child unless the counselor requests you to be there or you have spoken to counselor about wanting a joint session. Child should feel totally safe to talk to counselor about whatever he might want to talk about. You need separate sessions with the counselor. If you've ever messed up with your son and he's holding animosity toward you for it, clear that up.
I'm not saying Dad's right and you're wrong, but I wanted to point out where you said dad is "permissive" and you handle things as the punishment that fits the crime as though your way is the only way and I just have to say -- even in families where Mom and Dad BOTH believe in consequences, they don't always agree on the "right" consequence or how heavy or light to come down on a child for a particular offense so I think maybe you should examine your methods b/c you came off a little arrogant in that department.