Conservator needs advice

[bamboozled]

Connecticut - I was appointed as conservator of person & estate for my mom who has dimentia. WELLS FARGO, where all her annuities and funds are, will not recognize me as conservator because her accounts are in TRUST. Wells Fargo said I need to be appointed TRUSTEE, then they will allow me to move money. Her credit union account is very low, and her 24/7 home care is $6,000.00 a month.
I hired an attorney, and we still have no hearing date.
I was the victim of a drunk driving accident and postponed a surgery for my mom. I asked him nicely in an email if he could please call the court and tell them my neurosurgeon needs to reschedule my surgery, and can we have an emergency one, so I can get this over with. I will not be able to get to court after this surgery.
He sent me this very rude email, threatening to quit, and "I can arrange for you to come and get your file".
Attorneys are so tempormental. I seem to have forgotten that they are not actually people. Why is he so afraid to call and tell them about my situation, and that my mom is now delinquent on her house taxes and the stack of other bills, not including ongoing: groceries, oil (for heat) electric, phone, pharmacy bill ($600.00monthly)???
Why threaten to quit, why not just quit already? They have not finished the audit yet (for Probate) and the credit union printed out an error the teller made, but they seem hell bent on charging $250.00hr, and looking for what has already been found, instead of looking at the printout that I got for free, in 10 minutes.
Should I just go there and get the file or ignore his email altogether and just go to Probate and ask for the hearing in my neckbrace and cane in tow?
I have never, ever had an attorney behave like this before and I have used 3 in the past and have a civil rights case pending and that attorney is a perfect gentleman.
Thanks for any advice on this menopausal counselor~
Almost forgot, can WELLS FARGO ignore the Judges ruling as me being conservator of estate and person? The document clearly states that I am in charge of all assets, bills, banking, estate issues. It is her money, and she is paying a ton of money to get to her own money so she can eat and live. Welcome to America!

 

[anteater]

...because her accounts are in TRUST.

Where there is a trust, there is a trustee. Who is it?

 

[bamboozled]

No trustee, he quit...

My mothers last attorney was her trustee and he quit. That is why I am waiting to be appointed, but Probate is dragging their feet on giving me a date. We put in for one 6 weeks ago, and as I stated her credit union accounts are going nil. They are the only ones I have access to.

The attorney wants to quit right now, or so he threatens in the emails I have saved.
Why can't I just go to Probate looking mangled so they can see I need to have a surgery and to pretty please give me a date soon? It is just the formality, my mother is on board with me being appointed.
I was her POA before this. She never needed me as conservator, she just needed a trustee all this time? She had a court appointed attorney and he never addressed this matter and he knew her accounts were "in Trust".
Thank you for your really speedy response. I will wait and hopefully you are still here to rea this now.....I am grateful for your opinion~

 

[bamboozled]

anreater...

Where there is a trust, there is a trustee. Who is it?

I love-love your "signature"....my sister wins and my mom is still alive. She has been gifted over $220,000.00 since 2002, and now my mom is going to be denied Medicaid for over-gifting.
I heard the state never goes after the person who got all the cash either.
I am Cinderella, I get the conservatorship, with no pay, and all the care-giver headaches! Woooohooo, good for me!

 

[justalayman]

actually, she needs a conservator, or a POA actually. That is what it takes for you to act for her. The trust needs a trustee. The money in the trust is not hers; it belongs to the trust.


If you are going to be the trustee, you really need to study up on what a trustee does and what they can and cannot do as well as things like tax implications. You also need to study the construction of this specific trust as well. We have no way of knowing but it could be possible the trust money isn't going to be as accessible as you believe it to be.

Why can't I just go to Probate looking mangled so they can see I need to have a surgery and to pretty please give me a date soon?

Sure but it most likely won't do you any good, especially if there is already an attorney of record.

It is just the formality, my mother is on board with me being appointed.

No, it really isn't. There can be a lot of liability that comes along with being a trustee. If you act improperly with trust funds, you could cause yourself to be liable financially.

 

[bamboozled]

Justa...

Thank you....I have been her POA for 10 months. An audit was done and they found out, that my sister (her name is all over the bank statements) took our mother in her rented vehicle. (sister flew up from Florida) and obtained BANK CHECKS, because I had the check book. I never, ever took any fee or any money, and the audit proves this.
I am not responsible for my sister taking her vulnerable mother to the back and getting $6,500.00 in just one month all in BANK CHECKS.

I am squeaky clean, because I am not about money. I became conservator because my mother was deemed incompetant, and now the only person that can bank is me. (at least with her credit union money)

The trust money is an educational trust. The attorney already checked and as long as she is ALIVE, she can use the money BEFORE it is used for any grandchildrens education.
She also has 5 annuities that I can move AFTER I am appointed. So you are telling me, that: The Judge just appointed me from POA to conservator on 1/15/2011. He knows there is no trustee and he will not appoint me even though her WILL shows she choose me before she was deemed incompetent? Then who will be appointed? My mother has no attorney at this time.

Why will the court not make my sister pay back all the money?
Why did the credit union allow my sister to withdraw such a huge amount(s) in one month even though they possessed the physicians report, deeming "mom" incompetent especially financially.
I do not even plan to bill her anything. I never did before as POA. I am not the greedy family member and I am in charge of all the care-givers which is no picnic.
Thanks again for your response to the above if you want~

 

[justalayman]

.

He knows there is no trustee and he will not appoint me even though her WILL shows she choose me before she was deemed incompetent? Then who will be appointed? My mother has no attorney at this time.

she named you as successor trustee in her will? If so, then yes, it should be that easy but you hadn't mentioned the appointment before.

Why will the court not make my sister pay back all the money?

If your mother was already deemed incompetent and your sister was aware of this, your sister might yet still be held accountable.

Why did the credit union allow my sister to withdraw such a huge amount(s) in one month even though they possessed the physicians report, deeming "mom" incompetent especially financially.

were the counter checks signed by your mother? Can you prove the bank had been notified your mother was declared incompetent?

 

[bamboozled]

Justa...yes x's 3

Yes, yes and yes to all....
They still have it on file that she was incompetent as of September 2010. My sister took the money on our mothers birthday...can you believe it?
My mother has dimentia..she will give you $2,000.00 right now if you call her...I am not joking...if she had $10.00 left and my sister asked her for it she would give it to her.
The trustee/executor quit, gave my mother back $2,500.00 retainer when he quit. My mother endorsed the check and my sister told her to sign it over to her for "travel expenses" way after the incompetency hearing. It does not cost $6,500.00 to fly round trip from Florida to Conn, unless you charter a private plane.....then back to Florida she flew and I get all the Cinderella work.
I am trying to save my mother getting charged by a third party appointed person All the right reasons, she is my mother no matter her mistakes and flaws.

Should I call the CEO of the credit union? I know the bank manager that allowed this. My sisters name is written on the bank statements on the dates she took the $2,000.00 of a $2,196.00 Social Security check. My mom received $196.00 of it! Her appointed attorney at the time, knew this and did nada....sis should be in jail I think or pay it back.
Welcome to America....

 

[justalayman]

bamboozled;2751635]
My mother has dimentia..she will give you $2,000.00 right now if you call her...I am not joking.

what did you say her phone number is?

.

The trustee/executor quit, gave my mother back $2,500.00 retainer when he quit. My mother endorsed the check and my sister told her to sign it over to her for "travel expenses" way after the incompetency hearing. It does not cost $6,500.00 to fly round trip from Florida to Conn, unless you charter a private plane.....then back to Florida she flew and I get all the Cinderella work.

Not real sure where to start to get the ball rolling but you might actually speak with the police. I believe her actions may be egregious enough to be considered criminal.

Of course, if her actions were criminal, you need to understand the severity of the situation and the actions that might be taken against sis.

Should I call the CEO of the credit union? I know the bank manager that allowed this. My sisters name is written on the bank statements on the dates she took the $2,000.00 of a $2,196.00 Social Security check. My mom received $196.00 of it!

you could. S/he might have an explanation for it. I wouldn't get to in depth or accusatory though. It would surely shut down the line of communication should it be needed for something else while this thing gets worked through.

 

[bamboozled]

Justa thank you...

You have been wonderful and love your sense of humor!
I will get back here to let you know what happens...so far even though mom is incompetent, most say, if your mother let her have it, nothing we can do. I have also gone to the cops, and they said "it is a civil matter and we are not getting involved".

Get this. now my sister keeps nagging my mother and PROBATE to see her WILL before she is even dead....the Probate Judge Cc:d me a response, apparently to my sister (it is addressed to her) and he is furious and tells her: "a WILL is private and your sister is the conservator now. You have no rights to know anything about her healthcare or finances"...end of Judge quote....Attorney says, Judges never write letter so he must be livid with greedy sister who he now knows took advantage of mom.
KARMA is waiting.....and the Almighty will drop her down where she belongs.
Meanwhile, moms accounts are way down and I could use that cash right now.
I can see the WILL, but it is inappropriate, and I never would. Maybe we had different fathers? Ya think???

Thanks and happy valentines day!

 

[justalayman]

I will get back here to let you know what happens...so far even though mom is incompetent, most say, if your mother let her have it, nothing we can do. I have also gone to the cops, and they said "it is a civil matter and we are not getting involved".

I'll try to see what I can find concerning this.

Get this. now my sister keeps nagging my mother and PROBATE to see her WILL before she is even dead....the Probate Judge Cc:d me a response, apparently to my sister (it is addressed to her) and he is furious and tells her: "a WILL is private and your sister is the conservator now. You have no rights to know anything about her healthcare or finances"...end of Judge quote....Attorney says, Judges never write letter so he must be livid with greedy sister who he now knows took advantage of mom.

OUCH!! Having a judge slam you would hurt.

 

[justalayman]

What is Elder Abuse?
Elder abuse is any form of mistreatment, even by a family member, that results in harm or loss to an older person. People can be abused in different ways:

· Financial Exploitation: Being forced to sign or hand over money -- such as Social Security checks, pension checks, savings accounts -- or property or being scammed by contractors…!


What Can You Do?
There is help and support in Connecticut for older persons who may be experiencing abuse, neglect or exploitation. Anyone – a friend, a neighbor, a family member, or even an acquaintance – can and should make a call to Protective Services for the Elderly at 1-888-385-4225 if you think an elder you know has been or is being abused. To learn more about elder abuse and other resources, call CHOICES at your Area Agency on Aging - 1-800-994-9422.

Sec.17b-460.(Formerly Sec. 17a-440). Referral for criminal investigation or proceedings. If as a result of any investigation initiated under the provisions of sections 17b-450 to 17b-461, inclusive, a determination is made that a caretaker or other person has abused, neglected, exploited or abandoned an elderly person, such information shall be referred in writing to the appropriate office of the state's attorney, which shall conduct such further investigation, if any, is deemed necessary and shall determine whether criminal proceedings should be initiated against such caretaker or other person, in accordance with applicable state law.

Sec.17b-451.(Formerly Sec. 17a-431). Report of suspected abuse, neglect, exploitation, abandonment or need for protective services. Penalty for failure to report. Immunity for report or testimony. (a) Any physician or surgeon licensed under the provisions of chapter 370, any resident physician or intern in any hospital in this state, whether or not so licensed, any registered nurse, any nursing home administrator, nurse's aide or orderly in a nursing home facility, any person paid for caring for a patient in a nursing home facility, any staff person employed by a nursing home facility, any patients' advocate and any licensed practical nurse, medical examiner, dentist, optometrist, chiropractor, podiatrist, social worker, clergyman, police officer, pharmacist, psychologist or physical therapist, who has reasonable cause to suspect or believe that any elderly person has been abused, neglected, exploited or abandoned, or is in a condition which is the result of such abuse, neglect, exploitation or abandonment, or who is in need of protective services, shall within five calendar days report such information or cause a report to be made in any reasonable manner to the Commissioner of Social Services or to the person or persons designated by the commissioner to receive such reports. Any person required to report under the provisions of this section who fails to make such report shall be fined not more than five hundred dollars.

for some reason I suspect the police were incorrect.

 

[anteater]

for some reason I suspect the police were incorrect.

You know, I'm not certain that it is a matter of being incorrect. As much as I don't want to be sympathetic to the "it's a civil matter" response, there is the problem of how many law enforcement resources can be devoted to small dollar amount cases that will take a good amount of time to develop.

I'd like to see every financial abuser, even the penny ante grifters, slammed, but I just don't know that it is practical to expect.

 

[justalayman]

You know, I'm not certain that it is a matter of being incorrect. As much as I don't want to be sympathetic to the "it's a civil matter" response, there is the problem of how many law enforcement resources can be devoted to small dollar amount cases that will take a good amount of time to develop.

I'd like to see every financial abuser, even the penny ante ones, slammed, but I just don't know that it is practical to expect.

well, it's just like the guy that yells about a ticket for going 5 over the limit; there are always bigger fish to fry but the fact remains, if a law is broken, it needs to be addressed and the police have no problem issuing citations for such a minimal breach of the law in those situations. In fact, in the statutes I posted, a cop is a mandatory reporter of exploitation and can be fined for failing to do so. Rather than tossing it off as a civil matter, at least he could have reported it like he is legally obligated to do.

Personally, I see the problem being the cops simply refusing to do their jobs. They wouldn't make the decision to prosecute anyway. If they took a report and tossed it to the DA, it wouldn't eat up their time. This isn't the type of case the cops are going to investigate without direction from the DA anyway.