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frustratedbr

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?California

Hi. I am going to meet with a lawyer tomorrow to discuss modifying visitation. I currently have physical custody of child, joint legal. I was wondering if anyone has any pointers on what to ask the attorney during my consultation. I want to get the most out of this consultation as possible. I went to an attorney the other day and he basically told me I should get more money from my ex-husband as well as change visitation to a much shorter time span. Our current orders are vary vague, Mostly stating everything by mutual agreement which at the moment we are basically only agreeing to disagree. Any help would be much appreciated. :o
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
frustratedbr said:
What is the name of your state?California

Hi. I am going to meet with a lawyer tomorrow to discuss modifying visitation. I currently have physical custody of child, joint legal. I was wondering if anyone has any pointers on what to ask the attorney during my consultation. I want to get the most out of this consultation as possible. I went to an attorney the other day and he basically told me I should get more money from my ex-husband as well as change visitation to a much shorter time span. Our current orders are vary vague, Mostly stating everything by mutual agreement which at the moment we are basically only agreeing to disagree. Any help would be much appreciated. :o

Unless you give more background info its impossible to give you any usable advice.
 

frustratedbr

Junior Member
more info

Sorry. Current orders state my ex husband get our child on Saturday from 8am-3pm on my weekends. Originally this was set up because I had to work on those Saturdays. I don't any longer. So I would like that taken out so he has his weekends and I have mine. Also it states that my ex-husband is to pick up our child from daycare on his visitation days. I get off work in time to pick up our child from school so daycare is not necessary, ex-husband insists he pick up at daycare instead of at my house which he has to pass in order to get to daycare(what happens when child is 16 and no longer needs daycare?) Right now court order states holidays by mutual agreement and I would like that more detailed (odd - even years etc.) I would also like to cut out overnights during the week due to our child starting school(ex wouldn't be able to get our child to school on time plus we originally agreed verbally that this would be the case once child starts school) He refuses to discuss this rationally and continues to harass and threaten me in every way possible so I feel we need to get this all down in a court order.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
frustratedbr said:
What is the name of your state?California

Hi. I am going to meet with a lawyer tomorrow to discuss modifying visitation. I currently have physical custody of child, joint legal. I was wondering if anyone has any pointers on what to ask the attorney during my consultation. I want to get the most out of this consultation as possible. I went to an attorney the other day and he basically told me I should get more money from my ex-husband as well as change visitation to a much shorter time span. Our current orders are vary vague, Mostly stating everything by mutual agreement which at the moment we are basically only agreeing to disagree. Any help would be much appreciated. :o



My response:

Ldij is correct (Finally!).

However, I can help you with what to look out for:

Top Ten Signs You've Hired a Bad Lawyer - -

NUMBER 10: Begins every sentence with "Well, as Ally McBeal once said..."

NUMBER 9: He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla vs. Mothra.

NUMBER 8: Just before your trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

NUMBER 7: He thinks he'll win your case, "because there's a first time for everything."

NUMBER 6: He once failed to get a conviction of O. J. Simpson.

NUMBER 5: Whenever he says, "Your Honor" he makes those little quotation marks in the air.

NUMBER 4: Sign in front of law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:45 p.m."

NUMBER 3: Begins by telling jury, "You all look like you should be on Jerry Springer."

NUMBER 2: Giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

And now, the NUMBER ONE Sign You've Hired a Bad Lawyer . . .

His phone number: 1-600-SHYSTER



IAAL
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
frustratedbr said:
Sorry. Current orders state my ex husband get our child on Saturday from 8am-3pm on my weekends. Originally this was set up because I had to work on those Saturdays. I don't any longer. So I would like that taken out so he has his weekends and I have mine. Also it states that my ex-husband is to pick up our child from daycare on his visitation days. I get off work in time to pick up our child from school so daycare is not necessary, ex-husband insists he pick up at daycare instead of at my house which he has to pass in order to get to daycare(what happens when child is 16 and no longer needs daycare?) Right now court order states holidays by mutual agreement and I would like that more detailed (odd - even years etc.) I would also like to cut out overnights during the week due to our child starting school(ex wouldn't be able to get our child to school on time plus we originally agreed verbally that this would be the case once child starts school) He refuses to discuss this rationally and continues to harass and threaten me in every way possible so I feel we need to get this all down in a court order.

The best advice I can give you is to tell the attorney the WHOLE story...and then ask for the attorneys honest response...pro and con.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
The best advice I can give you is to tell the attorney the WHOLE story...and then ask for the attorneys honest response...pro and con.


My response:

Well, duh Ldij! No, I'd rather have a lying scumbag sitting across from me at my desk. What a dumbass. Oh, and I just LOVE your suggestion to ask the attorney for his "honest response". Actually, I enjoy lying to my clients. Another dumbass reply by Ldij.

How about asking the attorney if he's a Certified Family Law Specialist? I wouldn't want some 2nd year practitioner who just started practicing family law by reading, "Family Law For Idiots".

IAAL
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I AM ALWAYS LIABLE said:
My response:

Well, duh Ldij! No, I'd rather have a lying scumbag sitting across from me at my desk. What a dumbass. Oh, and I just LOVE your suggestion to ask the attorney for his "honest response". Actually, I enjoy lying to my clients. Another dumbass reply by Ldij.

How about asking the attorney if he's a Certified Family Law Specialist? I wouldn't want some 2nd year practitioner who just started practicing family law by reading, "Family Law For Idiots".

IAAL

That is one thing that really irks me about you....you are probably one of the smartest people out there but you persist in deliberately doing that.

I have 25 years of experience dealing with attorneys in all areas of law. I have discovered that asking for an "honest response" gets me the best advice...from an honorable attorney. Instead of hearing what I "want to hear" I get the truth.

An honorable attorney will give you an honest response....a dishonorable one will give you platitudes...it will simply be based on the size of the retainer the attorney demands instead.

Please admit that not everyone in your profession handles things the way that you do.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
That is one thing that really irks me about you....you are probably one of the smartest people out there but you persist in deliberately doing that.

MY RESPONSE: Thank you. It's my job. I love getting under your skin, because you come up with some of the most jerky responses sometimes!



I have 25 years of experience dealing with attorneys in all areas of law. I have discovered that asking for an "honest response" gets me the best advice...from an honorable attorney. Instead of hearing what I "want to hear" I get the truth.

MY RESPONSE: Oh, please. When you walk into a law office, and if you're consulting a Family Law Specialist, do you really think the attorney will lie, or tell you something that you'll "just want to hear"? I have a license and a specialty to protect, and there's no client out there that's worth having those pigskins jeopardized by giving wrong information, advice, or suggestions.

Now, you may not like the attorney's "plan of attack" or you may want to blame the attorney for the law that you don't agree with, but that's just a matter of "personalities".




An honorable attorney will give you an honest response....

MY RESPONSE: Well, no sh!t, Sherlock! How long did it take you to think of that one?




a dishonorable one will give you platitudes...

MY RESPONSE: Well, no sh!t, Sherlock! How long did it take you to think of that one?






it will simply be based on the size of the retainer the attorney demands instead.

MY RESPONSE: Oh, gimme a break, will ya? There are good and bad attorneys who'll charge $300.00 per hour. What does money have to do with whether, as you say, you're being lied to? Besides, an attorney can be incorrect about the interpretation of a law, and it doesn't mean he or she is "lying".



Please admit that not everyone in your profession handles things the way that you do.

MY RESPONSE: I admit to nothing of the sort. The attorneys with whom I associate are all honorable, INCLUDING my opponents, and who would never put their pigskins "on the line" for a client. We can be the biggest sons-of-bitches on four wheels, but that's because we're zealous attorneys. What world do you live in?


Grow up, Ldij.


IAAL
 
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USMOM

Member
OK. Thousands of dollars later, I can give you a few tips. First, find an attorney that has a higher record of negotiated agreements that court battles. If it goes before a judge, the judge will never be able to get the whole story. There is an automatic prejudice that states that couples who come back to court are just being difficult. You run the risk of being seen as a "controling woman". Test the attorneys skills by seeing that he is willing to approach the other attorney in a problem solving way. it will save your hours of expensive court time. Also look for an attorney that is also a mediator. My attorney was a mediator and my ex's was not. Our agreement was achieved in process that was called collaborative law. We sat down with the attorneys and worked out an agreement. My ex's attorney was not a mediator and he was difficult to manage, so the process focused on her trying to keep him in check while I freely negotiated my childrens best interests with support of legal advice. His attorney was so fixated on language that we continually trade inclusion of terms with concrete agreements that in effect nullified those terms. My attorney gave me a nod when we were talking about a term that could create problems and redirected the process to something more productive. The process was grueling, but because I just focus on my childrens needs and trusted the process we got a pretty good deal on the parenting plan. I got a worse deal in foreign courts on child support. He is now fighting the agreements he made but my saving grace is that we put a mediation clause in the agreement.
Next tip. Make sure it feels like a good match.
 

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