Contempt during separation prior to divorce court.

[AlmostThere]

So what you are saying is that she should ignore the advice from her lawyer who says this will help in her custody battle just to make him happy in case he tries to make her miserable? Is that really something you would risk, giving up some of your parental rights to avoid conflict?

Does Free Advice have anyone familiar with SC divorce law? At least in NYS, paramour, reasons for divorce make no difference in custody and support arrangements.

Your daughter's long-term happiness, which will greatly affect the health and wellbeing of the children, should be the MOST important thing.

 

[Mtnstyne2001]

What rights would she be losing by not caring who he shacks up with and realizing that a no-paramour order likely won't survive past the dissolution of the marriage?

He is asking for full custody. She is asking for full custody. The judge will have to decide what the custody will look like. This puts a negative mark on his character. Rights is probably the incorrect term in this situation but impact to who is main caretaker of the kids.

 

[AlmostThere]

Recently evidence has been provided that the spouse living in the marital home is in fact cohabitating with the paramour and exposing the children during his time of custody. This evidence was gathered by family members through surveillance and is in the form of video and photographs. The father filed his taxes with an income of $135k for 2023 and the mother with primary custody made $5k in 2024 while living with family and taking care of the children full time and working a part time job. Having this evidence on hand now appears to be of no value as her lawyer has told her he requires an additional retainer of $2,100 if she wishes to pursue the contempt case on top of $15k additional to take it to trial now since the husband is not willing to settle on any of the divorce requests. He insists on full custody, the house, all marital assets and to continue to live with the paramour like a family unit and is not willing to settle on any of those topics.

How does your daughter plan to support herself long-term?

 

[Mtnstyne2001]

Does Free Advice have anyone familiar with SC divorce law? At least in NYS, paramour, reasons for divorce make no difference in custody and support arrangements.

Your daughter's long-term happiness, which will greatly affect the health and wellbeing of the children, should be the MOST important thing.

Does contempt of court have any impact in the final custody and support arrangements in NYS? Her lawyer is stating that is impactful to the extent his visitation could even be reduced at this contempt hearing.

 

[Mtnstyne2001]

How does your daughter plan to support herself long-term?

What is the relevance of this question?

 

[Zigner]

He is asking for full custody. She is asking for full custody. The judge will have to decide what the custody will look like. This puts a negative mark on his character. Rights is probably the incorrect term in this situation but impact to who is main caretaker of the kids.

That takes this in a whole different direction. Your daughter needs the attorney, plain and simple.

 

[AlmostThere]

What is the relevance of this question?

It may play into custody - if she can't support herself and provide a safe living environment, provide for the children's necessities, etc,, she may not be considered capable of taking care of the children.

 

[AlmostThere]

Does contempt of court have any impact in the final custody and support arrangements in NYS? Her lawyer is stating that is impactful to the extent his visitation could even be reduced at this contempt hearing.

My lawyer had to file for RJI - Request for Judicial Intervention. But in the end, my ex and I agreed on our settlement out of court. We spent nearly a year hammering out custody, support, distribution of assets, etc. I did not move out until that was filed, to prevent him from "starving me into submission" and not having the house to himself put pressure on his love life.

 

[Mtnstyne2001]

It may play into custody - if she can't support herself and provide a safe living environment, provide for the children's necessities, etc,, she may not be considered capable of taking care of the children.

Gotcha. Her plan right now is to remain in our home until she has the means to support herself and her kids. It's not ideal but we have the room and can provide that for them. She is currently working and plans to continue to so and become independent again. There is no concern of neglect or lack of support for as long it is necessary. Interesting question I did not think of.

 

[Mtnstyne2001]

My lawyer had to file for RJI - Request for Judicial Intervention. But in the end, my ex and I agreed on our settlement out of court. We spent nearly a year hammering out custody, support, distribution of assets, etc. I did not move out until that was filed, to prevent him from "starving me into submission" and not having the house to himself put pressure on his love life.

In SC they had to live physically apart for one year before they could even file for divorce. Her option was to continue to remain married and tolerate his behavior or move out with nothing and try to survive. He is unwilling to settle on any aspect of the divorce because he doesn't want to get divorced.

 

[Mtnstyne2001]

I want to thank everyone who has contributed to this thread so far. I am going to have my daughter read through it tonight when she returns from work and see the thoughts that were presented to ensure this is still how she wants to proceed. There are certainly risks doing nothing as well as proceeding.

 

[stealth2]

What is the current custody arrangement, and how long has it been in effect?

 

[stealth2]

Also thinking that the money fighting for a contempt finding might be better spent on a Guardian Ad Litem...

 

[AlmostThere]

In SC they had to live physically apart for one year before they could even file for divorce. Her option was to continue to remain married and tolerate his behavior or move out with nothing and try to survive. He is unwilling to settle on any aspect of the divorce because he doesn't want to get divorced.

If he does not want a divorce, your daughter has a harder road. Maybe his paramour will pressure him to divorce..

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state? SC

... Husband cheated on wife while she was pregnant, ... In SC there is a 1 year separation period to file for divorce and he wasn't leaving the home ...

I do want to touch on this, as you have referred to it several times in this thread. I do understand that it doesn't have any bearing on where things stand at present, but the waiting period you refer to is for a no-fault divorce. In the case of adultery, that waiting period doesn't apply. Of course, adultery would need to be proven.

https://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t20c003.php