Contempt???

[LdiJ]

No our court order adresses the direct issue of reassignment. All 4 of the parents (step and bio) are either current military or prior military. I had to move here for military entitlement reasons. I would have lost my benefits otherwize. Because of the military thing we made sure that the reassignment thing was addressed in our parenting plan in case the situation arrose. The order very clearly states that both parents will split transportation costs evenly no matter the reason for the relocation. We did this because both parents have to constantly relocate so to keep us from having to go back to court every time we put it in the parenting plan. I already had permission to move by her signing to the prior court order. It simply states that I have to notify her of my new adress and phone number within 14 days of my move. Sorry, I guess I shouls have been more clear on the issue.

You have mentioned two different prior orders. Are those provisions included in the most current order? If so, then yes, you have a great deal to work with.....I would assume that the most current order should also spell out as well what any kind of long distance visitation should be....does it?

 

[LdiJ]

Also... I'm not trying to get custody because I moved, I have other reasons behind it. It would really be way too complicated to go into all of it though. I am a little confused why I would not get custody just becasue I was the one to move. The mother was actually the first one to move, she moved out of the area the middle of last year.

Normally, if a parent moves away from the other parent...that parent can actually lose custody to the parent who isn't moving. In the same light, a parent who has moved or is moving away has very little chance of taking custody away from the parent who didn't move.....because to give them custody would take the children far away from the other parent.

Your case, with both of you being military and subject to moves....may be entirely different. The two of you may be on a level playing field despite the fact that you recently moved.

 

[abstract99]

Normally, if a parent moves away from the other parent...that parent can actually lose custody to the parent who isn't moving. In the same light, a parent who has moved or is moving away has very little chance of taking custody away from the parent who didn't move.....because to give them custody would take the children far away from the other parent.

Your case, with both of you being military and subject to moves....may be entirely different. The two of you may be on a level playing field despite the fact that you recently moved.

The thing here that sucks here is we had joint custody and when she moved she was awarded sole custody. I am thinking that I have a chance of getting the custody reversed because the sole deciding factor that the ruling came down to was the fact that the judge felt that she was more likely to work with me than me with her to allow visitation. The main reason why I need to file this contempt paperwork is because I have not seen my children since the begining of July. She is at the moment refusing me any visitation with them this summer even though the court paperwork clearly states that the summer vacation is my visitation time. If I don't do something soon I might not see my children at all this summer. The reason why I addressed the different court orders is because our current one is very broad and does not address the whole issue of this sitation. It does, however, state that if an issue is not addressed in the current one then we are to go back to our prior one and follow those guidelines. The mother is lying to the children and telling them that the reason why I am not seeing them is because I don't want to. Not that she is not letting me to. I will be going back to court this summer (saving the money up for a lawyer) and I think that these contempt charges will assist me in getting custody. Do you happen to know the answers to:
- I live in a IL and I have to file in Az. Can I hire a paralegal in Az to file the paperwork in Az?
- Will the PL also be able to serve my ex's lawyer?

 

[Inquiry123]

Good News, Bad News...

Yes, a paralegal in AZ can complete and file the appropriate paperwork for you. Yes, the same paralegal will most likely be able to arrange to have your ex served in her new location.

Because your ex has relocated with the child in excess of 6 months, prepare to have her att'y advise her to motion for change of jurisdiction to her new location...which will most likely be considered the child's new "home state".

I'm not sure that I understand all of the details of your post...If she never informed you that she was moving, you would have position to argue that AZ should retain jurisdiction of your case (if that's what you want.)

Yes, you should ask that your legal fees / court costs be awarded.

I can't follow your post entirely (maybe I'm tired.) Summarize all of your allegations into one petition...it'll cost you a few hundred bucks to have a paralegal put it together...plus court costs. Good luck.

 

[abstract99]

Yes, a paralegal in AZ can complete and file the appropriate paperwork for you. Yes, the same paralegal will most likely be able to arrange to have your ex served in her new location.

Because your ex has relocated with the child in excess of 6 months, prepare to have her att'y advise her to motion for change of jurisdiction to her new location...which will most likely be considered the child's new "home state".

I'm not sure that I understand all of the details of your post...If she never informed you that she was moving, you would have position to argue that AZ should retain jurisdiction of your case (if that's what you want.)

Yes, you should ask that your legal fees / court costs be awarded.

I can't follow your post entirely (maybe I'm tired.) Summarize all of your allegations into one petition...it'll cost you a few hundred bucks to have a paralegal put it together...plus court costs. Good luck.

She did notify me she was moving when she went to sourt to change the custody. Our court order does state that if in the even I have to relocate then the children will be with her during the school year. This is not something I agreed to. When we got divorced we agreed on everything except who the children should live with in the even we are living in separate areas. The courts ruled that they would live with her since she was no longer in the military at the time and I was. They decided that the children were better off without having to move as much like they would have if they were with me. She has now remarried and her husband is in the military and I am not. I am therefore the parent that provides the stable home without presenting the need to move every year or two. Kinda confusing, I agree.
She did not move out of the state, just 2 hours away. So Az still has juristiction here. Thanks for your help. I am trying all that I can to be able to see my children after battleing with her to allow me visitation for quite some time now. I fear that the only people getting hurt here are the children.
I am a good dad.
I work.
I have a clean house.
I pay my child support on time.
I go out of my way to meet the rediculous demands of my ex.
I have given up things that are important to me and the people in my new life (i.e. my wife) to be with the children.
I even stayed in Az in the hopes that my ex would allow me to see my children while my wife had to leave. We were in a situation where if I left with my wife I would face the prospect of not seeing my children as much or I stay in Az while my wife left and hope that I will be able to see my children every other weekend (she had military stuff that made her move or she would have lost a lot of money, I couldn't ask her to stay becasue this was the whole reason she joined the military)
I treasure my children more than anything in the world.
It pains me so much that all I want is to be able to spend time with my children and all my ex wants to do is stand in the way.
I fear that someday my children will become so corrupted by her lies that they will no longer love me.

 

[casa]

She did notify me she was moving when she went to sourt to change the custody. Our court order does state that if in the even I have to relocate then the children will be with her during the school year. This is not something I agreed to. When we got divorced we agreed on everything except who the children should live with in the even we are living in separate areas. The courts ruled that they would live with her since she was no longer in the military at the time and I was. They decided that the children were better off without having to move as much like they would have if they were with me. She has now remarried and her husband is in the military and I am not. I am therefore the parent that provides the stable home without presenting the need to move every year or two. Kinda confusing, I agree.
She did not move out of the state, just 2 hours away. So Az still has juristiction here. Thanks for your help. I am trying all that I can to be able to see my children after battleing with her to allow me visitation for quite some time now. I fear that the only people getting hurt here are the children.
I am a good dad.
I work.
I have a clean house.
I pay my child support on time.
I go out of my way to meet the rediculous demands of my ex.
I have given up things that are important to me and the people in my new life (i.e. my wife) to be with the children.
I even stayed in Az in the hopes that my ex would allow me to see my children while my wife had to leave. We were in a situation where if I left with my wife I would face the prospect of not seeing my children as much or I stay in Az while my wife left and hope that I will be able to see my children every other weekend (she had military stuff that made her move or she would have lost a lot of money, I couldn't ask her to stay becasue this was the whole reason she joined the military)
I treasure my children more than anything in the world.
It pains me so much that all I want is to be able to spend time with my children and all my ex wants to do is stand in the way.
I fear that someday my children will become so corrupted by her lies that they will no longer love me.

Much of what you wrote is irrelevant in terms of changing the orders. However, the fact that you are no longer active duty and her spouse is- combined with the fact that she has denied visitation in excess of 6 mos, WILL be in your favor in court.

You should read up on the appropriate state's "Change of Circumstance" in the Family Law Code and educate yourself. Then file.

 

[SITLYNNE]

Your fear of you children maybe being corrupted to the point of not loving you anymore is very real. Do a google search for Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) or search www.deltabravo.net for more information. This is a very serious situation. I am involved in this myself currently, and unfortunately, I believe I came to this forum a little to late and received the information about PAS to do anything about it. Try to get counseling now for the children. Best of luck to you.

 

[LdiJ]

Much of what you wrote is irrelevant in terms of changing the orders. However, the fact that you are no longer active duty and her spouse is- combined with the fact that she has denied visitation in excess of 6 mos, WILL be in your favor in court.

You should read up on the appropriate state's "Change of Circumstance" in the Family Law Code and educate yourself. Then file.

Wait....didn't he say that his new wife was also active duty military? I am actually pretty confused by this thread. I don't think the OP is doing it on purpose but he isn't giving very clear answers which causes the scenario to keep changing.

OP: Ok, you have two sets of orders, the most recent one being broad...but telling you to refer back to the original order for anything it doesn't cover. So what EXACTLY do the orders say about visitation and transportation when you live in different states?

 

[stealth2]

My understanding is that the bioparents are neither still active military, but both stepparents are.

 

[abstract99]

Wait....didn't he say that his new wife was also active duty military? I am actually pretty confused by this thread. I don't think the OP is doing it on purpose but he isn't giving very clear answers which causes the scenario to keep changing.

OP: Ok, you have two sets of orders, the most recent one being broad...but telling you to refer back to the original order for anything it doesn't cover. So what EXACTLY do the orders say about visitation and transportation when you live in different states?

The current order only addresses the mothers relocation 2 hours away. It does not address what would happen if I were to move out of state. This is where our prior court order would come in. Our prior order states that the children will be with me the entire summer vacation. We weill split the spring and christmas vacations evenly. Mother will have the children for spring vacation on odd numbered years and father even. Father will have the children christmas vacation on odd numbered years and mother on even. The costs of all transportation will be split evenly.

I got out of the military last February.
My wife got out in July
My Ex got out right as we were getting divorced.
My ex's new husband is still in.

SITLYNNE Thank you for the website. I am already going to be asking the judge for permission to allow my children and I to attend counceling during my visitation time to help mend the dammage that has been done. I am still trying to find ways to prove this when I go to court. I have had some people say that I can get an unbiased evaluator but I am afraid what the mother will tell them if they have to go. I know that she is telling them certain things already and I don't want to request the evaluator and then have her tell the children what to say while they are in there. This would only hurt me more. Any other ideas that you might have would be nice.

 

[abstract99]

CASA I am confused on a lot of this stuff myself. I try to avoid the court system as much as possible so I am not all that aware what to do. I have to do this to protect my children. They are the ones that are getting hurt. I was not even aware what I could do about this situation until I got on this website. I thought that when she was awarded sole custody that gave her the ability to decide if I get visitation or not. Now that I have done some research into my court orders I now see that she does not. Sorry for the confusion I am doing the best that I can to explain this clearly but in all honesty it is a confusing sitation. Thank you for all of your helpful responses so far.

 

[abstract99]

Does anybody happen to know if the mother is found guilty what are the chances of them reversing the custody right there and then? There is room on the contempt paperwork to make your own requests and I was thinking about adding a request for the custody to be reversed so that the children live with me. Can I do this or am I going to have to file all new paperwork? Is there a way to file the paperwork for contempt and sue for visitation at the same time. Is it a good idea to do this? I just talked to my ex today and she told me to stop calling her. I asked her about sending the children out for my summer visitation and she said that she was never going to let me see them again. Is there a chance that the judge will change the custody if I request it to do so. I am under the understanding that the one thing that I have to prove is that it is not in the best interests of the children for Mother to have sole custody.
I would think that if the Mother was awarded sole custody because she showed "a greater understanding of the need for continued involvement of the other parent and that Mother appears more likely to promote continuing contact" (exact wording of my court order) then the fact that she is (rather) obviously not the parent that is not willing to do this would be cause for a custody change.

 

[LdiJ]

The current order only addresses the mothers relocation 2 hours away. It does not address what would happen if I were to move out of state. This is where our prior court order would come in. Our prior order states that the children will be with me the entire summer vacation. We weill split the spring and christmas vacations evenly. Mother will have the children for spring vacation on odd numbered years and father even. Father will have the children christmas vacation on odd numbered years and mother on even. The costs of all transportation will be split evenly.

I got out of the military last February.
My wife got out in July
My Ex got out right as we were getting divorced.
My ex's new husband is still in.

SITLYNNE Thank you for the website. I am already going to be asking the judge for permission to allow my children and I to attend counceling during my visitation time to help mend the dammage that has been done. I am still trying to find ways to prove this when I go to court. I have had some people say that I can get an unbiased evaluator but I am afraid what the mother will tell them if they have to go. I know that she is telling them certain things already and I don't want to request the evaluator and then have her tell the children what to say while they are in there. This would only hurt me more. Any other ideas that you might have would be nice.

I am still confused. If your wife got out in July then why the heck was it necessary for you to move to IL? In an earlier post you stated that the military moved your wife to IL.

 

[LdiJ]

Does anybody happen to know if the mother is found guilty what are the chances of them reversing the custody right there and then? There is room on the contempt paperwork to make your own requests and I was thinking about adding a request for the custody to be reversed so that the children live with me. Can I do this or am I going to have to file all new paperwork? Is there a way to file the paperwork for contempt and sue for visitation at the same time. Is it a good idea to do this? I just talked to my ex today and she told me to stop calling her. I asked her about sending the children out for my summer visitation and she said that she was never going to let me see them again. Is there a chance that the judge will change the custody if I request it to do so. I am under the understanding that the one thing that I have to prove is that it is not in the best interests of the children for Mother to have sole custody.
I would think that if the Mother was awarded sole custody because she showed "a greater understanding of the need for continued involvement of the other parent and that Mother appears more likely to promote continuing contact" (exact wording of my court order) then the fact that she is (rather) obviously not the parent that is not willing to do this would be cause for a custody change.

A judge won't change custody unless you petition for custody to be changed. Honestly, using contempt as a basis to change custody generally won't fly the first time you are in court for contempt. It normally takes multiple trips to court for contempt before a judge will contemplate a custody change. I also still believe that your move to IL would hurt you on that. I think that your chances would be greater if you had stayed in AZ.

 

[abstract99]

I am still confused. If your wife got out in July then why the heck was it necessary for you to move to IL? In an earlier post you stated that the military moved your wife to IL.

My wife is a veteran of the state of Illinois. Illinois provides an Illinois Veterans Grant that pays for four years of school. When she got out, she had to return to the state within 6 months or she would have lost her 4 years of payed schooling. This benefit is the only reason that my wife joined the military.