control freak x denying father visitation and phone calls

[kimmidawne]

What is the name of your state? ohio
my boyfriend of 3 years is leagally seperated with a court order for weekend visitations and order to pay child support. i admit he has not always been perfect about paying his support, but he does try. seven months ago we moved to indiana due to finanial problems beyond our control. we moved so he could find work. during the past 7 months the ex has only allowed him 3 visitations with his daugher. now she has cut off all ties between them. she won't even allow him to call his daughter on the phone. she makes excuses as to why she can't come to the phone or just says no that she can't trust him. we have asked for specific times to call and she won't give us a time, just to call the next day. we do try, but she only has a cell phone and will not leave it turned on for us to get through. when she finally turns the phone on his daughter is already in bed.
we are still trying to get back on our feet. what are our options. how do we get back the right to see his daughter?

 

[ellencee]

he takes his court order with him and knocks on the door and says 'hi, I'm here for my weekend of visitation (which is custody for the weekend), and I'll bring her back at the stated time"; and when she says "NO", he files a motion for contempt of the court order in the court that issued the order, with or without an attorney, and requests equal time for all lost visitation and for her to pay court costs and for her to be instructed by the court to not interfere with his relationship with his child; perfect time to get a modification of visitation if his move indicates a need for modifying the schedule,too.
And, he pays all back child support PRONTO and stays in compliance with the order, lest he find himself behind bars for contempt of the court's order to pay support.
Oh, and you quit calling the mother of his child names and learn to respect her as the mother of his child whether or not she does what she's supposed to do.

 

[CMSC]

he takes his court order with him and knocks on the door and says 'hi, I'm here for my weekend of visitation (which is custody for the weekend), and I'll bring her back at the stated time"; and when she says "NO", he files a motion for contempt of the court order in the court that issued the order, with or without an attorney, and requests equal time for all lost visitation and for her to pay court costs and for her to be instructed by the court to not interfere with his relationship with his child; perfect time to get a modification of visitation if his move indicates a need for modifying the schedule,too.
And, he pays all back child support PRONTO and stays in compliance with the order, lest he find himself behind bars for contempt of the court's order to pay support.
Oh, and you quit calling the mother of his child names and learn to respect her as the mother of his child whether or not she does what she's supposed to do.

Ellencee is 100% right (as usual). YOu also need to put in the modification order, if it isn't in the current one, that she needs to provide you with her current phone number and it needs to be kept available for emergencies.

Be prepared if your boyfriend files to modify he maybe be slapped with a contempt order, so like ellencee said, get this back support paid off. Have him voluntarily sign up for wage garnishment if the payments are too dificult to remember to send in on time.

 

[vstax]

off subject, but....

"Oh, and you quit calling the mother of his child names and learn to respect her as the mother of his child whether or not she does what she's supposed to do."

Ellencee,
That was beautiful, I might cry. Altho, I always comply, cos I don't wanna be in comtempt, I can't say I always do it graciously. I wish my daughter's step Mom could abide by your wisdom.

 

[kat1963]

I have several names for our biotroll and I stand by every single last one of them...she earned them all herself therefore I do honor them as reference. *LOL*

He should wait until he is caught up on support. Only then should he file a motion to show cause/contempt (ask for make up time) and a motion to modify visitation (ask for longer periods of time, ie: summer & some holidays, when in the area as long as notice is given yadda, yadda) and for specific times for telephone calls. He'll probably also be responsible for transportation costs since he's the one that moved.

I would also start documenting the refused phone calls by sending her a certified letter (return reciept) each time he tries to make contact (weekly?) and also keep a journal or even a simple calander w/the dates & times marked. Keep copies of the telephone bills as well. Cause you know she's going to go into the court room and say "he never called..he moved, he never bothered to keep in touch"...so you let her do that then whip out the records! teehee

KAT

 

[kimmidawne]

thank you to all of you for your help. i do appreciate it. to those that think i am wrong to call her a control freak, get to know her. as one person said... she earned it. we're talking about a mother who does not take care of her daughter health wise, and obviously does not care about her daughters wishes. if you had been through everything we have i'm sure you would understand how difficult it is to respect her. i'm sorry but to tell a child that their father doesn't love them among many other things is just wrong. i too have children from a previous marriage. personally i do not feel that their father needs to be in their life, but i have NEVER stood in the way of their relationship with him. i feel it is important for them to form their own opinions of him. he will hang himself, as will my boyfriends ex.