Court Decision....UNREAL....Need Advice!....

[Lils]

To clarify further, my boyfriend observed all of the Jewish holidays and was actively teaching his 5 year old about Judaism. For Succoth, they celebrated it with the Rabbi of his synagogue, and all of this was presented in court. His lawyer was a wimp, while his ex's were vulchers, so they did a pretty convincing job of saying that they will bring the children up in the Jewish faith, etc., even though those of us who are knowledgeable about Judaism know that it is pert near IMPOSSIBLE for a non-Jew to attempt to observe Jewish holidays.....not to mention, he and I both know that is not going to happen. His ex is ATHEIST. The "one Jewish period in either September or October" is extremely vague and confusing to say the least. It feels like a slap in the face though, that she is ATHEIST, admitted it on the stand, and her parents admitted not being affiliated with a religion, but promised to bring the two children up "morally", and she was given every Christmas, even though Hannukah often falls during Christmas......there were quite a few things that the judge did not address, and it is disappointing to say the least.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I wonder if she was Wiccan if this would even be an issue

 

[nextwife]

There are a surprising number of non jewish moms whose kids are in my daughters religious classes. And the families do come to the community celebrations. especially the big family events at the JCC. So, it's not automatic that interfaith families fail to observe together.

I agree that many schools are closed, ours is. But that does not mean that this Georgia judge had a clue that some school districts DO close during Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur. Hanukah is relatively minor, but Passover is not, and HOW will his kids be able to go the Seder if he doen't at least get them for that? And it is an important FAMILY celebration. Grandparents, cousins, etc, just as Christmas is the time that family gets together in Christian households.

Sorry, I just don't think that one should have to participate in a religion that follows a certain calender to have a right to have family holidays together if one is divorced.

My daughter has not been through a "formal" conversion either, yet, but that does not take away from her identity.

 

[luckymom]

What is it with the capitalization of ATHEIST? Just so you know, religious parents are not necessarily superior to those with no particular religious affiliation. I don't believe that having a religious affiliation while one's ex does not becomes a compelling arguement for custody.

 

[nextwife]

What is it with the capitalization of ATHEIST? Just so you know, religious parents are not necessarily superior to those with no particular religious affiliation. I don't believe that having a religious affiliation while one's ex does not becomes a compelling arguement for custody.

And in this case, custody is NOT the issue, Access is, as the CP is CHOOSING to remove the children from their father's ready access. Moveaways inhibit the other parent's relationship, regardless of religious (or not) affiliation.

 

[djohnson]

What is it with the capitalization of ATHEIST? Just so you know, religious parents are not necessarily superior to those with no particular religious affiliation. I don't believe that having a religious affiliation while one's ex does not becomes a compelling arguement for custody.

Oh my gosh! you have got to be kidding me.

So according to you how children are raised should have no bearing on custody? So it's ok to teach children to murder, steal, rape, and eat live chickens?

Give me a break.

 

[luckymom]

Please. I am an atheist and I do not rape, murder, or even use foul language. Just because this mom is not Jewish, or Christian, or anything else does not mean she is not the a perfectly good and responsible parent.

I expect there is something fishy about the girlfriend's account. Hey, if they were still married, why does this guy have a girlfriend. Isn't there a commandment against that? I guess he is really really religious. (Or maybe he just waves the religion flag in custody suits!)

 

[djohnson]

I didn't say atheists did those things. I said it to prove a point that how a child is raised does and can play a role in custody. I am good ole sourthern baptists, but I don't think it will get me to heaven alone, nor do I think any other religion will either. It's what you are. I just can't imagine telling a child that when you die you die and are in a hole in the ground instead the promise of an afterlife is good for a child.

 

[luckymom]

Silly me. I didn't get that belief in an afterlife meant you were a better parent than someone who doesn't hold such a believe.

Since Judaism doesn't hold with the notion of heaven, I guess that isn't relative to this case either. Maybe the fact that the dad is an adulter ticked off the judge!

 

[Lils]

I am capitalizing "Atheist", because the whole subject of religion was such a hot topic in court, she suddenly appeared with a cross around her neck, made promises about raising them Jewish when she doesn't know the second thing about it, and it seems a bit "fishy" that the judge would give her every Christmas while she is not a practicing Christian, yet my boyfriend who is a practicing Jew is not afforded the opportunity to spend Hannukah (which often coincides with Christmas) with his children.

Second, I came to this site looking for support and advice and am finding that I, and my boyfriend, are being attacked based on assumptions. I am attempting to give you all as much information as possible to work with, and it seems that no matter how much I give, it does not suffice for some people. The information I have given you is fact. If you choose to believe it or not believe it is up to you. I really do not have the time or inclination to worry about what people think of my relationship with my boyfriend and whether or not because he is dating me he is truly Jewish or practices his religion. I AM, however, concerned that he does not know where his children are, that he is not going to have access to them on December 26th and that he will not have any recourse because Georgia has jurisdiction and NJ is where she will be living. If she does not surrender the children to him on the 26th and he goes to the police, he is going to get laughed at by them. Not to mention his ex will not communicate with him, so logistically, we have no idea how we are going to set up travel times if she will not acknowledge his existence. He is crying right now because he doesn't think that he will ever see his children again. These are my concerns. If anyone has any helpful advice regarding these things, I would love to hear them. I am going to disregard any other personal assumptions, because I just don't have time for it.

I look forward to any productive replies!

Thanks...

Lils

 

[luckymom]

So, who says she is an atheist? Your boyfriend who is so "devoutly" Jewish. Might I ask if you are Jewish as well? Something tells me the answer is "no."

 

[haiku]

honestly, without getting into the religious aspect of things, I don't think the visitation agreement is all that bad....

that being said, just like the rest of us NCP's there is nothing your boyfriend can do at this time but document, all his interactions or lack there of with his ex to communicate with his children.

If after following the court order on the 26th, he does not get his children he can then contact his lawyer about filing for contempt charges, and take it from there.

 

[djohnson]

honestly, without getting into the religious aspect of things, I don't think the visitation agreement is all that bad....

that being said, just like the rest of us NCP's there is nothing your boyfriend can do at this time but document, all his interactions or lack there of with his ex to communicate with his children.

If after following the court order on the 26th, he does not get his children he can then contact his lawyer about filing for contempt charges, and take it from there.

I agree, and want to add that understand you are being attacked simply because as the old saying goes 'birds of a feather stick together'. I am concerned that she just took off though. Also, obviously she sees something wrong with being athiest also and so did her attorney, I'm sure she was advised to wear the cross. That says a lot.

 

[Lils]

She says she is an Atheist. She announced it in a court of law, as well as announced it to my boyfriend, her family and all of her friends when she decided she was 2 years ago. Not that it really matters, but I am a Christian, however well-versed in Judaism. Oh, and by the way, not that it really matters either, but thought I would inform everyone, my so-called adulterous boyfriend and I have never slept together and I did not know him prior to his ex leaving him. So if you call what he and I have together "adulterous" that is definitely your perogative.

 

[stealth2]

I'm still curious where in NJ she's moving to.