CPS is killing me.....We can't do any more!

[happy17yr]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas

We are a married couple of 18 years and we have 2 boys ages 7 and 12. Our 7 year old (Joshua) was blessed with Downs Syndrome.
Joshua runs if he finds an open door or window. We have had the police in on finding him 7 times in 7 years. We have key locks on all doors and windows as well as alarms. Our home is like a prison yet he still finds a way out every now and then. We watch Joshua constantly so we are never far behind if he does find an opening.

To add to the problem Joshua's teacher called CPS for a bruise on his neck the size of a nickel and didn't even ask us about it.

CPS removed the boys from our home and placed them with my parents for 2.5 weeks. In that 2.5 weeks we had to be drug tested, see a psycologist and go through hell waiting for them to get around to giving our children back.

The boys are back at home where they belong now.

We now have the CPS saying they will show up on my door step once a week without notice. CPS says we have to go to family counseling and couples counceling as well as individual.
We were told that they will be back next week with papers for us to sign. What papers?????????
We are not comfortable signing any papers! We do not agree with this course of action, why would we sign?

We need help understanding our rights as parents and what action CPS can get away with.
Please help.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

It sounds as if even though you are doing your best, you are overwhelmed and could use some help. Do you get respite care?

 

[happy17yr]

No we don't get respite care. We don't even have any friends or family that are willing to keep Joshua due to the fear he will run off or get hurt. Dallas County has wonderful healthcare and school programs for disabled children but there is nothing for the family or home.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas

We are a married couple of 18 years and we have 2 boys ages 7 and 12. Our 7 year old (Joshua) was blessed with Downs Syndrome.
Joshua runs if he finds an open door or window. We have had the police in on finding him 7 times in 7 years. We have key locks on all doors and windows as well as alarms. Our home is like a prison yet he still finds a way out every now and then. We watch Joshua constantly so we are never far behind if he does find an opening.

To add to the problem Joshua's teacher called CPS for a bruise on his neck the size of a nickel and didn't even ask us about it.

CPS removed the boys from our home and placed them with my parents for 2.5 weeks. In that 2.5 weeks we had to be drug tested, see a psycologist and go through hell waiting for them to get around to giving our children back.

The boys are back at home where they belong now.

We now have the CPS saying they will show up on my door step once a week without notice. CPS says we have to go to family counseling and couples counceling as well as individual.
We were told that they will be back next week with papers for us to sign. What papers?????????
We are not comfortable signing any papers! We do not agree with this course of action, why would we sign?

We need help understanding our rights as parents and what action CPS can get away with.
Please help.

My sincere advice is to sign the paperwork and jump through any hoops you have to jump through. Sadly, once CPS gets involved in your lives you have to deal with that. They have the power to permanently remove your children from your home if you do not comply with their recommendations (or at least a lot of influence with a judge).

 

[dallas702]

That's why I tell people to stay away from them if at all possible. Once they are involved it's almost impossible to get 'em off your back. Another "client" for them is another increase in funding. Yes, they can be a great help in the appropriate situation, but I call it childlife roulette.

Anyway, go with the program. They are usually so busy they aren't going to be running over to your home very often to see if your door's locked or your son is safe. Counseling...ooooooo, you get to make a "plan" so you'll be perfect parents (in their eyes). Actually, you are very lucky you got him back so quickly. That is good news because it means that someone at CPS thinks your doing fine. The bad news is that someone else might not, and CPS has been given an unusual amount of "authority" to take over....even when it's not necessary.

You really should sit down with an attorney who specializes in dealing with CPS situations. Perhaps you can file for injunctive relief; maybe get a court appointed attorney to help.

 

[stealth2]

I don't know if you've thought of it - what about latches up at the tops of the doors so the kiddo can't open them?

 

[Ron1347]

I don't remember seeing where it explains that bruise. How did he in fact come by it? And, did your son make a big deal of it with the school?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm sorry that is has been so difficult to obtain respite services. CPS may be one way of accessing those services. Sometimes, in order to receive care, parents have to place the child in residential care, not only so they will have placement as they grow older, but also to insure the health and safety of other family members. Will your older child be willing or able to care for your child when you are not able to? It is a tough decision you may have to make, it doesn't mean you don't love your child, it may be in the best interest of your child.
Here are some links to potential services, also the second link is for advocacy you may want to start there.
http://www.txddc.state.tx.us/menus/fset_links_1.asp http://www.advocacyinc.org/

 

[LdiJ]

I don't know if you've thought of it - what about latches up at the tops of the doors so the kiddo can't open them?

That's a good idea except that a 7 year old is old enough to get a chair to stand on so that he can open the latch....so if he is tall enough they may not be able to put them high enough to be completely out of his reach.

Deadbolts that require a key for both sides of the door might be an option...but those always make me nervous in case of fire....and are not "code" in some municipalities.

 

[abstract99]

I have a friend who is in the same situation and she has bells on all of the doors that lead outside. That way if they are opened she can up and run. Is there something that he is really interested in outside? Perhaps you can bring that item inside your home.

 

[1parent]

CPS Involvement

http://www.fightcps.com/

 

[happy17yr]

Sorry for not responding sooner, I have been ill.
Yes we have latches at the tops of the doors. Joshua figured out very quickly that brooms and other misc. objects work well to undo latches you can not reach. Joshua is also an avid climber.
We have alarms on all doors and windows that Joshua learned to turn off within a weeks time.
As for the bruise..... he hit himself with a Tonka Truck while working very hard to hit his brother with said truck. Joshua is a very ruff and tumble boy and we are lucky this was one of few marks left by his play.
CPS has been at our home 3 times in the past week, I don't beleive they are too busy for us.
I thank you all for your replys and concerns.

 

[happy17yr]

Thank you very much for the link to http://www.fightcps.com/. This seems to be a wonderful site and we will find it very helpful.

 

[amiegaines654]

I truly do not understand how CPS determines what is a real threat and what is not. One bruise should not be enough "proof" for CPS to harrass this family. Children (especially boys play hard, and sometimes fall or run into things that cause them to bruise. I have heard of situations where CPS is required to investigate ANY reports, but they do not always do that. Can someone explain that to me???

OP, I wish you luck. CPS can be a nightmare to deal with!! Sounds to me like you have enough on your plate without weekly visits from a CPS worker that is already overworked, and trained to see the worst. I do realize that CPS is necessary, but not in all cases. I hope that you and your son can get through this.

 

[happy17yr]

Thank you amiegaines654 for your kind words. We as well do not understand where it comes from. I have seen the worse in our very neiborhood and nothing has been done. Thank you all again for your replies.