custody of grandchild

[ili]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee
The grandparents get one day a week with their grandchild who
is also our great-grandchild. He is in a bad situation from the
way he talks to us and he is 4 yrs old. What are the chances of
getting temporary custody until his dad is competent to raise him
and be close with him again? We believe neither parent should
have him at the present time.

 

[skyy]

The chances of a grandparent getting guardianship/custody depend on the circumstances. It appears as though the father is in your family, so you want your children to care for your great-grandchild while your grandson gets his act together?

There's really not much to go on here. If you feel and can prove neither parent is capable of caring for the child, then you or your children have the option of petitioning for guardianship unless one or both parents is willing to sign a power of attorney giving temporary custody.

 

[FJ1200guy]

You ARE kidding?

Well.... In my opinion... chances are slim to none.

Unless the parents will agree to it.

Or is there more to this story?

 

[ili]

There is a lot going on here. I doubt if either parent will get on
this forum so perhaps I can say more. You don't know what I'm
talking about if I don't do you? Our grandson just remarried and
is married to a woman who has to be in control. She has cut him
off from everyone who loves him, gotten rid of the great-grandson's dog and now the great-grandson. This grandson
loved his son so much we can't believe he would do this. He
has a new family (2 step children) and thinks this 4 year old is
bad?? This is his first born and he is a wonderful child. If he
causes any problem what do you expect of a child who has been
displaced by two children and a woman. His daddy is no longer
his buddy, the other two children are playing with his toys. He
suddenly HAS to learn to share and becasue he's a little older
then the other two he's "sponsible" if anything goes wrong. The
house is no longer his and his room he must share. We are beside outselves. This grandson fought for custody and now is
giving it away to someone who was unfaithful and doesn't have
her act together either.

 

[jez51]

It's really hard to blend two families, and it takes a lot of work. It sounds like the g-grandson was the only child and now he has step-siblings, that he has to learn to live with. Sharing rooms and toys is not a bad thing, he would have to do this with bio-siblings.
Four yr olds have a hard time accepting change and sharing people they love. So when he tells you things, try to determine what really might be just a child not wanting to conform, or what really could be mis-treatment. As for the father, in trying to please the new wife he is forgetting that he also has to help his son adjust to his new family and the new wife needs to learn that just as she and her children are a package deal, so is her husband and his child. If you suspect real harm for your g-greatson, then get CPS involved.

 

[ili]

Thanks for your advice. We don't know if our great-grandson
is with his daddy or mom now. He has said he'll give the mom
custody but we don't know if he has. We are not allowed at his house and she doesn't communicate a lot. We are thinking about
CPS also.

 

[stealth2]

CPS isn't going to even look into it if the only thing going on is what you said. Unless there's something more that you haven't told us, there is neither abuse nor neglect. I'm sorry.

 

[ili]

Sorry, I haven't been able to post on my daughter's computer.
I don 't know the problem but I'm at the library now. There is
a lot going on. First, is it a good idea for two lesbians to raise
a son? They are unstable: keep moving, feed him fast meals
and junk only. The dad may be unstable at best. He loved this
boy more then anything and now hasn't seen him or called about
him in two weeks. Is he being discarded and replaced by step-
children. Dad is having problems at work and cut himself off
from all friends and relatives. We are praying a lot and I truly
believe the dad's thinking about what he's doing. However, its hard to go from day to day.

 

[stealth2]

It is unlikely a judge will remove a child based solely on the sexual preference of the parent.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Everyone wants control... everyone. It's just the way people go about GETTING it that is different.

MY opinion is that you wait. Your chance to be there for this boy will come, but there's nothing you can do now. Keep the love in your heart for the boy, and his father, but let them live their lives for now. No other options right now, it looks like.

Lesbians you say? How do you know??? Is it that haircut thing they do sometimes? You know, short on the sides, longer in the back? I'm just trying to figure out what is up... sounds like Dad is married to a lesbian? Or is the ex (the boys mom) a lesbian?

I'm just curious... sorry we couldn't be more positive as far as the actions you can take, but there is really nothing to be done. I would repeat for you and the grandparents to keep your hearts open and be ready to give support when the time comes.

Edit: hey here's a great site that explains all you'd want to know about your question. It mostly talks about Toxel vs Granville... losta good stuff for you.

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20020312.html

I think that's it... if not let me know, I'll recheck it, k?

 

[ili]

Thanks for the advice. The boy´s mom has a friend she lives
with who is known as a lesbian....holds hands with women, etc.
To be with the boy is wonderful and rewarding but also sad. He
says he loves his dad and his step siblings but the step-mom
makes mean faces at him. He has seen none of them in over 2
wks. and comes in (for the brief times he is allowed at grandparent´s) hyper and won´t make eye contact. When he
finally warms up its time to go. I plan to visit that website next.