Custody Question

[mbensoni]

My husband and his ex were together for a year after the birth of their daughter June 2002 - she cheated - they broke up July 2003. He met me - we were married September 2004. During the break up time - while we were dating - she wanted to get back together. Once she found out he was engaged - she said - well fine - so and so has been asking me to marry him - I am going to say yes since your getting married...So we were married Sept 2004 and she was married Jan 29, 2005. The daughter was about 2 1/2 at the time...daughter also called new husband dad. During this whole time my husband has his daughter every weekend and sometimes night or so during week. Child support has been established but do to verbal agreement between two parents - vistitation/custody was never established. Fast forward - mom left husband two weeks ago - they weren't married a full year. I feel bad for my step daughter - had 2 men she called dad and is back to one....

Last night - mom calls my husband - upset. Daughter told grandma that her mom was a bad mom...grandma calls her daughter and says - you should not let dad take his daughter every weekend...you should limit his time he spends with daughter because he provides a stable environment (we have a child together - own a home - both have well paying jobs) anyway....mom said dad could use it against her if there was a custody battle....so he says-why would i do that - we pretty much have joint custody even though it's not in writing....

I am writing because he thinks the world is always sunny and full of roses... What would be the process if mom does try to limit access to daughter??? If they both decide to put joint custody/physical and legal in writing - how do they go about that???

Thank you.

 

[casa]

My husband and his ex were together for a year after the birth of their daughter June 2002 - she cheated - they broke up July 2003. He met me - we were married September 2004. During the break up time - while we were dating - she wanted to get back together. Once she found out he was engaged - she said - well fine - so and so has been asking me to marry him - I am going to say yes since your getting married...So we were married Sept 2004 and she was married Jan 29, 2005. The daughter was about 2 1/2 at the time...daughter also called new husband dad. During this whole time my husband has his daughter every weekend and sometimes night or so during week. Child support has been established but do to verbal agreement between two parents - vistitation/custody was never established. Fast forward - mom left husband two weeks ago - they weren't married a full year. I feel bad for my step daughter - had 2 men she called dad and is back to one....

Last night - mom calls my husband - upset. Daughter told grandma that her mom was a bad mom...grandma calls her daughter and says - you should not let dad take his daughter every weekend...you should limit his time he spends with daughter because he provides a stable environment (we have a child together - own a home - both have well paying jobs) anyway....mom said dad could use it against her if there was a custody battle....so he says-why would i do that - we pretty much have joint custody even though it's not in writing....

I am writing because he thinks the world is always sunny and full of roses... What would be the process if mom does try to limit access to daughter??? If they both decide to put joint custody/physical and legal in writing - how do they go about that???

Thank you.

What state are they in?

How much child support does Dad pay? ie; is it proportionate to his Parenting Time &/or Income? There could be an increase or decrease in court depending.

What do the court orders for divorce/custody say? (Even though they are not practicing the order, unless one or both can prove that, it defaults to what the order says)

 

[mbensoni]

Minnesota - funny - I am not sure why that did not show up. There is no sort of visitation whatsoever - legally set up. Mom just allows him to have the daughter - previous she had told him she wanted things to stay out of the court system....so she took him to court for child support and nothing was done with visitation.

 

[stealth2]

Without anything from the court, she doesn't need to provide him with any time at all. Maybe what he needs is a wake-up call where he doesn't get to see his kid to understand that no one promised him a rose garden.

 

[mbensoni]

stealth2 - perhaps you did not read my question.

"What would be the process if mom does try to limit access to daughter??? If they both decide to put joint custody/physical and legal in writing - how do they go about that???"

 

[casa]

"What would be the process if mom does try to limit access to daughter??? If they both decide to put joint custody/physical and legal in writing - how do they go about that???"

The process would be: Dad files in court to establish a visitation order. He provides any evidence/documentation he has showing what % of time he's had all along. Witness statements, school/daycare records, etc. Once there is a court order, if she denies him visitation- then he can file police reports and in court for contempt.

Until Dad files to establish a court order...There is nothing to enforce, and Mom can legally deny visitation. (Of course if Dad can prove the schedule they've been practicing, this would not look good for Mom once in court)