custody question

[kidsback]

if my ex and i agree for me to take custody of the oldest is that possible w/ out the courts making a decision ..in other words can he sign custody over to me for her?

 

[ceara19]

if my ex and i agree for me to take custody of the oldest is that possible w/ out the courts making a decision ..in other words can he sign custody over to me for her?

It wouldn't be legal unless the judge signs off on it. There is no guarantee that the judge would approve the agreement. You would also be handing grandma the perfect opportunity to file for custody herself. The kids live with her as it is. Since you only want the oldest, the judge may not want to separate the kids and grandma could end up with LEGAL custody of ALL 3 children.

 

[kidsback]

well then i guess my situation is now hopeless because since my daughter has asked her father to come stay here and all this is out in the open.. when i was talking to him earlier he implied he was living at his mom's and has never stayed anywhere but there..in other words he is now covering his tracks. even if i took him to court for all 3.. it wouldn't happen i now have no grounds for a change in custody. correct?

 

[Ohiogal]

then you may be well served to hire a PI to record his actions as far as where he is spending the night and leaving from in the morning, where he is in the evening etc.....

Ohio courts despise -- at least in the counties I have practiced -- detectives coming in to court. They don't like one parent spying on the other. So this could backfire.

 

[Ohiogal]

when you say exercising visitation.. will they look bad on me because i didn't force the youngest to come live w/ me?

will they take the children's word for it that he doesn't live w/ them? he lives at his girlfriend's ..his belongings are there but he gets his mail at his mother's and he uses his mother's address to recieve assistance/ child support.

to live with you? Or not utilize the time with the youngest? In other words if you did not do everything possible to have the youngest come spend the court ordered time with you that won't look good. If you said that the youngest could stay with grandma that won't look good on you getting custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

if my ex and i agree for me to take custody of the oldest is that possible w/ out the courts making a decision ..in other words can he sign custody over to me for her?

It still has to go through the court and the agreed entry has to be filed with the judge.

 

[LdiJ]

Ohio courts despise -- at least in the counties I have practiced -- detectives coming in to court. They don't like one parent spying on the other. So this could backfire.

Wouldn't a GAL be able to interview the children and get a pretty reasonable idea of with whom they are living?

Although, if it got to that point its likely that dad would have either moved back in with his mom or moved the kids in with him.

 

[ceara19]

Ohio courts despise -- at least in the counties I have practiced -- detectives coming in to court. They don't like one parent spying on the other. So this could backfire.

I don't think that it will be an issue in this case. The OP can't even afford an attorney, so a PI would be pretty much out of the question too. Plus, I'm pretty sure that this is Kelly.

 

[GrowUp!]

I don't think that it will be an issue in this case. The OP can't even afford an attorney, so a PI would be pretty much out of the question too. Plus, I'm pretty sure that this is Kelly.

Nah...this isn't Kelly. Kelly don't know kaps..err, I mean caps.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wouldn't a GAL be able to interview the children and get a pretty reasonable idea of with whom they are living?

Although, if it got to that point its likely that dad would have either moved back in with his mom or moved the kids in with him.

A GAL would be able to inteview the kids and determine what was going on. A GAL would also interview the parents and anyone else available.

 

[kidsback]

so lets say i found the $ for an attorney or i represented myself:
-the private investigator is a bad idea ..but if i filed a motion for change of custody for all 3 on the grounds that he no longer lives in the home..they would interview the kids and i might have a chance ..even if he moves back into the home in the mean time?

 

[GrowUp!]

so lets say i found the $ for an attorney or i represented myself:
-the private investigator is a bad idea ..but if i filed a motion for change of custody for all 3 on the grounds that he no longer lives in the home..they would interview the kids and i might have a chance ..even if he moves back into the home in the mean time?

Something like this you would need a lawyer. YEah, you could do it on your own, but it's ill-advised. You could file your motion for a change and also motion for a GAL to be appointed (along with both parents splitting the cost). You should call your local bar association to see if you can be set-up with low-cost consults with some attorneys (usually about 30 bucks/referral). You can also see if you can set up some sort of payment plan with them (after a retainer). Quite a few lawyers take credit cards nowadays, too.

 

[kidsback]

thank you for the help.. i'm going to call around ..see what i can do ..i own my home, i have the option of taking a loan out if it came down to it ..my fear is i will waste time and money if he moves back home and they say sorry he is now living at home so u have no reason to change custody and then i'm out a lot of $ that i really didn't have to spare in the 1st place. you think there is a chance they would appoint a GAL and listen to the kids?

 

[GrowUp!]

thank you for the help.. i'm going to call around ..see what i can do ..i own my home, i have the option of taking a loan out if it came down to it ..my fear is i will waste time and money if he moves back home and they say sorry he is now living at home so u have no reason to change custody and then i'm out a lot of $ that i really didn't have to spare in the 1st place. you think there is a chance they would appoint a GAL and listen to the kids?

A GAL is appointed FOR the kids, as their "lawyer" per se. But what you really should do is consult with a few lawyers and have them be realistic with you. Dropping a FEW bucks now will give you a better idea whether to drop a TON towards this case.

 

[kidsback]

you are right ..thank you for all the advise ..i've learned alot ..this is a nasty situation .. thank you again