Chrln_little
Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland
Two years ago I was in a custody "issue" with my ex. You guys heard from me then with the situation. My ex and I had been together for 4 years. When we got together I was 16 and he was 24 (I know this leaves me open to attack). At the time that my ex and I split up, it was a violent occurrence. The relationship was abusive, mostly mentally abusive. His brothers were physically abusive toward me, there were three brothers total. We had a two bedroom row house that we lived in. He moved 9 other people in with us. After several fights and me having my life threatened on multiple occasions, he moved his parents and brothers into a house about 4 blocks down the road. My ex didn't like me having my own thoughts, opinions, or independence. I was not able to have a job, friends, or family. I was pregnant with our second son at the time we split up, about 3 months. The night we split up, is still kind of a blur. I asked him not to have his brother at our house drinking again, since he tried to beat up the priest that lived next door, and would always try to either start a fight with me, or try to get me to sleep with him after my, then boyfriend, fell asleep. After them drinking for a few hours, I had decided I had heard enough of them fighting, crying, and screaming at me. I decided to take a shower and go to bed. As I took a shower, they both stood outside the hallway screaming at me.
As I came out of the shower, my ex's brother decided to throw me around the kitchen and slam me into walls. After about an hour of his brother screaming at me, and him standing to the side in amusement. I decided to go to their parents house, where at least their father would keep them from torturing me. I would not tell them where I was going, but when I went upstairs to get my son, my ex freaked out. I didn't think they would hurt him, but he was only 1 year old and I knew with them being drunk, they could not watch him. It was me they hated, not him. At least I thought they wouldn't hurt him. On my way out the door, my ex's brother slammed us against the wall and pulled a Samari sword on me. It was a display sword, and was not sharpened, but it did have a nasty point on it. My ex laughed and took the sword away from him. I was afraid for my life, so I called the police. He was arrested and they located the sword stuffed under my couch.
I did not have anywhere else to go, since I didn't have any friends or family. I called the local shelters, but it was winter and they were full, even after hearing the situation I was in. I had a baby to look after so I couldn't sleep on the streets. I was forced to stay in the house. He stayed at his parents house so that I could have the house, he was furious at me. One night he used his key to get into the house. He told me that I had to drop the charges against his brother, or he was going to let his other brothers do what they wanted and they had plans for me. I found out that the state had picked up the charges against him and that he was facing 60 years in prison. The next morning, my ex dropped me off at the police station, and told me that I was to tell the police that I lied about what happened. He told me that if I didn't and I told them that he threatened me, that there was still two more of them that would make me an example. I was charged with false statement to an officer and obstruction of justice. I served 5 days on a 90 day sentence.
After being free from him for two years, and being forced to allow my son to stay with his father due to financial situation, something terrible happened. Mind you I had my son every weekend, and he only saw our youngest son for 4 hours on Sunday (his choice) My oldest son came to me and told me that while he is at daddy's house, he locked him in a room every morning. After confronting his mother about it, I found out that the allegations were true. He locked my son in a room every morning from 6:30 when he went to work, until his mother go home from work at 9 am. She said it was for his own protection. Mind you, his parents and him share a duplex, so the anyone else that could watch him was next door. My son was in a house by himself. Between the time I talked to her, and the time that CPS showed up, the lock was removed from the door and the holes were caulked. They did see a pattern on the door that was consistent with a slide lock. (you heard from me on this incident too). Just because there was a pattern, and no lock, they could not charge him. He did however get a "strict scolding" from the fire marshal. We live in the state of Maryland, and since we were never married, my attorney said I did not have to allow him to see my children. Especially since there was no custody agreement in order.
He filed for custody of one child (out of two), I got an attorney. We went to court ordered mediation and he wasted 8 hours of my time and $800 of my dollars. After we worked out a custody agreement, he conferred with his father and was told that he could not accept the agreement (he is currently 32). At the end of the mediation he said he was afraid of me. We got booted. Apparently that is phrase you cannot say in mediation. We were given a court date for December, which was only a few months away. Two weeks before the court date, I get a call from my attorney saying that the case was dropped. When I asked why, she responded by saying that the court typically does not drop cases under these terms, but he said he no longer wishes to pursue custody.
In the last two years, he has seen our children one time. It was actually at the one year marker. He took them swimming at the YMCA for 4 hours. In a recent conversation with him, he stated that he wanted to see "his children." I told him that I would agree as long as he was a stable force in their lives. Coming in and out of their lives the way he does is confusing and hurts them more than he could ever know. He told me that he would not be victim to my rules and regulations. After conferring back and forth for a while, he decided that he was going to be a "stable force." He wanted to see them on Saturday (that was three weeks ago). Saturday never came.
Now he says that he spent the last two years working on finding a better job to sue me for custody (In the state of Maryland this lands us back in mediation). Do you think he has a chance? He says that he is more financially stable but still lives with the crazy people he lived with before. I have an associates degree, but it doesn't put me in the top ranking for finances especially because I do not work in my degree field. I work for Yahoo Voices. Honestly I get paid enough to get by. He has a bachelors degree and can make a considerable amount more than me because of his specialty.
Two years ago I was in a custody "issue" with my ex. You guys heard from me then with the situation. My ex and I had been together for 4 years. When we got together I was 16 and he was 24 (I know this leaves me open to attack). At the time that my ex and I split up, it was a violent occurrence. The relationship was abusive, mostly mentally abusive. His brothers were physically abusive toward me, there were three brothers total. We had a two bedroom row house that we lived in. He moved 9 other people in with us. After several fights and me having my life threatened on multiple occasions, he moved his parents and brothers into a house about 4 blocks down the road. My ex didn't like me having my own thoughts, opinions, or independence. I was not able to have a job, friends, or family. I was pregnant with our second son at the time we split up, about 3 months. The night we split up, is still kind of a blur. I asked him not to have his brother at our house drinking again, since he tried to beat up the priest that lived next door, and would always try to either start a fight with me, or try to get me to sleep with him after my, then boyfriend, fell asleep. After them drinking for a few hours, I had decided I had heard enough of them fighting, crying, and screaming at me. I decided to take a shower and go to bed. As I took a shower, they both stood outside the hallway screaming at me.
As I came out of the shower, my ex's brother decided to throw me around the kitchen and slam me into walls. After about an hour of his brother screaming at me, and him standing to the side in amusement. I decided to go to their parents house, where at least their father would keep them from torturing me. I would not tell them where I was going, but when I went upstairs to get my son, my ex freaked out. I didn't think they would hurt him, but he was only 1 year old and I knew with them being drunk, they could not watch him. It was me they hated, not him. At least I thought they wouldn't hurt him. On my way out the door, my ex's brother slammed us against the wall and pulled a Samari sword on me. It was a display sword, and was not sharpened, but it did have a nasty point on it. My ex laughed and took the sword away from him. I was afraid for my life, so I called the police. He was arrested and they located the sword stuffed under my couch.
I did not have anywhere else to go, since I didn't have any friends or family. I called the local shelters, but it was winter and they were full, even after hearing the situation I was in. I had a baby to look after so I couldn't sleep on the streets. I was forced to stay in the house. He stayed at his parents house so that I could have the house, he was furious at me. One night he used his key to get into the house. He told me that I had to drop the charges against his brother, or he was going to let his other brothers do what they wanted and they had plans for me. I found out that the state had picked up the charges against him and that he was facing 60 years in prison. The next morning, my ex dropped me off at the police station, and told me that I was to tell the police that I lied about what happened. He told me that if I didn't and I told them that he threatened me, that there was still two more of them that would make me an example. I was charged with false statement to an officer and obstruction of justice. I served 5 days on a 90 day sentence.
After being free from him for two years, and being forced to allow my son to stay with his father due to financial situation, something terrible happened. Mind you I had my son every weekend, and he only saw our youngest son for 4 hours on Sunday (his choice) My oldest son came to me and told me that while he is at daddy's house, he locked him in a room every morning. After confronting his mother about it, I found out that the allegations were true. He locked my son in a room every morning from 6:30 when he went to work, until his mother go home from work at 9 am. She said it was for his own protection. Mind you, his parents and him share a duplex, so the anyone else that could watch him was next door. My son was in a house by himself. Between the time I talked to her, and the time that CPS showed up, the lock was removed from the door and the holes were caulked. They did see a pattern on the door that was consistent with a slide lock. (you heard from me on this incident too). Just because there was a pattern, and no lock, they could not charge him. He did however get a "strict scolding" from the fire marshal. We live in the state of Maryland, and since we were never married, my attorney said I did not have to allow him to see my children. Especially since there was no custody agreement in order.
He filed for custody of one child (out of two), I got an attorney. We went to court ordered mediation and he wasted 8 hours of my time and $800 of my dollars. After we worked out a custody agreement, he conferred with his father and was told that he could not accept the agreement (he is currently 32). At the end of the mediation he said he was afraid of me. We got booted. Apparently that is phrase you cannot say in mediation. We were given a court date for December, which was only a few months away. Two weeks before the court date, I get a call from my attorney saying that the case was dropped. When I asked why, she responded by saying that the court typically does not drop cases under these terms, but he said he no longer wishes to pursue custody.
In the last two years, he has seen our children one time. It was actually at the one year marker. He took them swimming at the YMCA for 4 hours. In a recent conversation with him, he stated that he wanted to see "his children." I told him that I would agree as long as he was a stable force in their lives. Coming in and out of their lives the way he does is confusing and hurts them more than he could ever know. He told me that he would not be victim to my rules and regulations. After conferring back and forth for a while, he decided that he was going to be a "stable force." He wanted to see them on Saturday (that was three weeks ago). Saturday never came.
Now he says that he spent the last two years working on finding a better job to sue me for custody (In the state of Maryland this lands us back in mediation). Do you think he has a chance? He says that he is more financially stable but still lives with the crazy people he lived with before. I have an associates degree, but it doesn't put me in the top ranking for finances especially because I do not work in my degree field. I work for Yahoo Voices. Honestly I get paid enough to get by. He has a bachelors degree and can make a considerable amount more than me because of his specialty.
