Custody

[pucker]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

I live in Missouri and my sons dad lives in Illinois. I have always had custody of my son. I was wondering if i went to court if it would be hard for me to get sole legal and physical custody of my son. Also i know it would be probably best for me to have a lawyer, but is their a way i can file for this without one?

 

[VeronicaGia]

Is there a custody order now? Is it in Illinois or Missouri? What difference would sole legal and physical custody make? He will still have the right to visitation, and to be involved in virtually ever aspect of the childs life....

 

[hexeliebe]

I feel a TPR coming on

 

[pucker]

No we don't have a custody order. I would feel a lot safer and better if i had sole custody. I don't trust him at all. I don't fell he should have a say in anything. I know unfortunaly he would still have visitation rights. My son will 5 on friday and not till this last year did he really see him on a regular basis. He doesn't have any contact with him when he doesn't have him and i never know how to get a hold of him if something would happen.

This might sound really stupid, but i have no idea what a TPR is.

 

[tigger22472]

TPR is termination of parental rights.

My response to you would be do you realize that with out a custody order you LEGALLY don't have any more custody then dad does? And all sole custody does is give you the right to make the FINAL decision in things.. however sole custody doesn't happen very often anymore and if he can prove he's maintaining contact with the child you are likely not to get it. Even in SOLE custody you are still to consult dad on everything and he has the right to all medical, and educational records.

 

[hexeliebe]

I don't trust him at all. I don't fell he should have a say in anything.

Well it's too late. The moment you laid down with this man he received the "RIGHT" to have a say.

You had better file for custody as of yesterday. Otherwise, he could and then you'd be travelling back to Illinois to answer.

 

[pucker]

I have no problems giving him medical and educational records. How am i suppose to consult anything with him when i never know where he is. He can't call me unless his friends let him use their phone. The only time he has contact with him is when he has him for the weekend. He doesn't ever try to call him and i use to try to call him, but he was never at his house.

I do have a child support order showing me as the custodial parent. Does that mean anything to the courts? I'm not really worried about him filing for custody, because he would not want to have to worry about having him all the time. Plus I already have been traveling back to Illinois for the child support order, because he doesn't feel that he should have to pay. Is their a way i can file without getting a lawyer?

 

[tigger22472]

If you are listed on something as a custodial parent then when CS was set up custody was established. Unless he's causing a fuss I wouldn't waste the money on changing the type. Besides, again, since he is exercising his visitation rights you might not get it anyways.

 

[pucker]

I guess the main reason i wanted to do this was because he will bring my son home on sundays whenever he wants. I try to set a time for sundays for him to bring him back, but he wont follow that. Their has been a few times that i would try to call him on sunday and wouldn't be able to get a hold of him. Then finally around 8 or 9 that night he would finally call me about bringing him back. Since he doesn't work he doesn't have a car and his family will not help him get him, so he has to take public transportaion to bring him back to me. I don't have a problem with that, but i think 9 at night is a little late for him to bring him back. Plus i usually have to drive about 30 min to meet him. I was tempted to call the police when he has done this, but i didn't know if they would do anything since the only thing i have is the cs order showing me having custody.

 

[tigger22472]

Sole custody won't do anything about that. Custody doesn't get you to control visitation... Visitation controls visitation... First off, the only ways to fix that is have the visitation order modified. Secondly... you say you've tried a few times to call him on those Sundays. He's not required to be available to you when he's exercising visitation. He's required to give you an address of his home and that's it. He doesn't have to "run by" you anything he does with the child when he's in his care, sole custody or not.

 

[pucker]

We don't have a visitation order. We just have always done every other weekend or whenever he decides he wants to be part of his life. I think you are reading into what i was saying wrong. I'm not saying he has to tell me what he is doing. On fridays when he picks him up i try to find out what time he is going to meet me on sunday to bring him back home, but he will never tell me. He always says he will get a hold of me on sunday. I've tried to tell him i want him back at a set time on sunday, but he just ignores it. I usually ave to call his house because he lives with his dad and he has a block on the phone, so if he isn't home he can't call me.Sunday is the only day i have off from work so a lot of time i have running to do, so i try to get a hold of him before i leave to find out what time. So what am i suppose to just sit and wait to see if he calls. I'm not suppose to do anything when it's 8pm on sunday night and i haven't heard from him. Also i thought if i went for custody they would set up a visitation order.

 

[gphjr]

What you need to do is file for custody and visitation. From what I have read in other posts, you don't have to let him see the child until there is a visitation order. Without it he does not have to return the child and can say that you left the child with him and gain temp custody until the hearing. don't mean to scare you, but from my readings here its possible

 

[pucker]

How do i go about filling for this? I know i do have to let him see him. When we went to court for the cs the first time they were saying they were going to charge me with kidnapping for not letting him have contact with him. The one thing i'm scared of is that he would not return him and do something like that. I really don't think he would want custody, because doesn't like to be tied down. Plus i know while he is living with his dad he wouldn't be able to have custody of him, because they only have two bedrooms and his dad doesn't like my son being their for long periods of time. Isn't that sad when this is his grandchild.

 

[gphjr]

Pretty much the same way you did the CS. Get an attorney to file the motion for visitation with specific time periods and custody. the more detail you get the better off you are. (sometimes)

 

[pucker]

The cs i went throught the state. I didn't have an attorney. Is their anyway i can do it without one. I just don't have the extra money for one right now.