custody

[momb47]

thank you for all the info, we are only there for support, if he should win custody, his sisters will be there to help him with his daughter, or he will have to hire a someone to help while at work. We are not getting involved I was just asking for the information, as much as I don't like what she has done (pregnant) the divorce was created by the two of them, not just her, they both are the cause of this mess. All our concern is for our granddaughter now and how she will be brought up, in a stable, loving enviroment.

 

[CJane]

his lawyer said not to give the full 17% of gross salry, <...snip...>
just give her a credit card with limit of $500 this way you can keep track of her spending the support money

If there's an order for support, your son might want to check and see how far in arrears he is before he opens the custodial can of worms.

And he might want to find a different lawyer. How mom spends CS is not his business.

 

[momb47]

the reason the lawyer suggested the credit card was because she is not paying her way for anything, this way she can't say she is not getting any money. She doesn't pay any rent, utlities, food not even her car payment or insurance, if she was out on her own she would have to pay for rent etc. The lawyer suggested this because he is to sole support for all. He keeps tract of all expenses when the child needs anything he pays, it was supposed to be that she was responsible for 50% of daycare and nursery school, which she pays nothing, he does that too, otherwise the child won't be going. When the house is sold the lawyer said she may be responsible for her share of living expense from any profit.

 

[LdiJ]

the reason the lawyer suggested the credit card was because she is not paying her way for anything, this way she can't say she is not getting any money. She doesn't pay any rent, utlities, food not even her car payment or insurance, if she was out on her own she would have to pay for rent etc. The lawyer suggested this because he is to sole support for all. He keeps tract of all expenses when the child needs anything he pays, it was supposed to be that she was responsible for 50% of daycare and nursery school, which she pays nothing, he does that too, otherwise the child won't be going. When the house is sold the lawyer said she may be responsible for her share of living expense from any profit.

However, its most likely that he is supposed to be paying his child support through the CSE. Its pretty rare these days for orders to allow for CS to be paid directly to the ex-spouse. Therefore, he could be racking up arrearages with the CSE, without even knowing that he is doing that. That is why I think that his attorney's advice was poor.

 

[momb47]

This was a non contested divorce, she initiated, which they did themselves here in NYS, they got docket #, had judge review, she signed away any and all financial matters for herself, the child support was a decision made by my son at the max. for NYS because he doesn't want his child to be without, but the court did state that he doesn't have to pay the max(17% of gross on first 80,000) he is required by law here to pay as little as $50 per week. There was no order from Child Support Unit here, it was to be done directly to ex. I do understand what you are saying,he will need to verify this information before he does anything else, Thank you

 

[ceara19]

This was a non contested divorce, she initiated, which they did themselves here in NYS, they got docket #, had judge review, she signed away any and all financial matters for herself, the child support was a decision made by my son at the max. for NYS because he doesn't want his child to be without, but the court did state that he doesn't have to pay the max(17% of gross on first 80,000) he is required by law here to pay as little as $50 per week. There was no order from Child Support Unit here, it was to be done directly to ex. I do understand what you are saying,he will need to verify this information before he does anything else, Thank you

If there is a signed order for child support that states "Dad is ORDERED to pay $XX to mom", then he is required to pay that amount. Giving her a credit card, is not the same thing.

 

[CJane]

If there is a signed order for child support that states "Dad is ORDERED to pay $XX to mom", then he is required to pay that amount. Giving her a credit card, is not the same thing.

AND how mom spends child support is NOT any concern of dad's. She can be purchasing herself alpaca socks knitted by the Dali Lama himself, and it's not dad's business as long as the kids are clothed and fed and shelter is provided, and it sounds like it is.

 

[Silverplum]

...alpaca socks knitted by the Dali Lama himself...

Hey, I'm wearing some of those right now!

 

[ceara19]

Hey, I'm wearing some of those right now!

Where did you find them? I've been looking everywhere for a pair. I'm beginning to think I'll have to either head to Tibet to pick up a pair or call Richard Gere and see if he can get me a pair next time he has the Dali Lama over for diner.

 

[CJane]

call Richard Gere and see if he can get me a pair next time he has the Dali Lama over for diner.

Don't do that. I hear hamsters are hell on alpaca wool.