Custody

[L2L61417]

California
Hi I am the primary custodial parent my sons father has visitation. Every 1st 3rd & 5th weekends of the month no summer or holiday schedule we share legal custody. Recently the other party has been messaging through takkingparents demanding more time with the child and if I don't he will take me back to court. I have been giving him an extra day here and there when he asks but I've been told not to deviate from court orders. How Likly is it that if he takes me to court he will get granted what he asks for ? I feel like he is fishing for ways to make me look uncooperative when i don't give in to his demands. Now I don't want my custody arrangement to change our son is very accustomed to the way things are he is 7 it's old. And every time it is time to go with his father he pleads that he doesn't want to go with him and when I ask him if he wishes to go with his father an extra day he shows no interest or cries thinking that he has to be there for a longer time. Now I've been reading similar threads regarding this issue and I see different answers and different advice.(also he is currently living in San jacinto 1hr 30 minutes away now he says he is moving with his inlaws 30 minutes away) does this constitute a change of circumstance to where there will be a drastic change in custody orders?

 

[L2L61417]

Additional info

I need to know what I can answer to his request I walk on eggshells with him every time we communicate very careful with what I say to avoid conflict he turnes everything arround to make me look bad and tries to find anything to argue about if I don't reply imediatly to his request he's making a big deal about. Another question regarding talking parents do I need to be on there all the time to answer every time he has a problem with how I do things during my time

 

[Lovingfatherof2]

Why not just give him more time?

Sounds to me like you are playing gate keeper and using the court order as an excuse to deny dad. Dad is probably frustrated and doing whatever he can to spend more time with his kid, probably at his wits end with all this nonsense.

Kid gets more time with dad, dad is happy and you get some peace. Problem solved.

 

[LdiJ]

I need to know what I can answer to his request I walk on eggshells with him every time we communicate very careful with what I say to avoid conflict he turnes everything arround to make me look bad and tries to find anything to argue about if I don't reply imediatly to his request he's making a big deal about. Another question regarding talking parents do I need to be on there all the time to answer every time he has a problem with how I do things during my time

I disagree with the previous response that you received. When someone is acting like a bully they should not get rewarded for acting like one. There is nothing wrong with sticking to the court order (particularly since you have been flexible here and there). Children get used to a routine and are discombobulated with big changes to that routine.

Dad might get some more time if he takes it back to court, but it won't be because he wants more time, it won't be because he bullies his way into more time, it will be if he is able to demonstrate that more time with him is in the child's best interest.

 

[LdiJ]

I need to know what I can answer to his request I walk on eggshells with him every time we communicate very careful with what I say to avoid conflict he turnes everything arround to make me look bad and tries to find anything to argue about if I don't reply imediatly to his request he's making a big deal about. Another question regarding talking parents do I need to be on there all the time to answer every time he has a problem with how I do things during my time

Do not walk on eggshells with him. Tell him that if he wants more time he needs to take it back to court for a modification. You should probably get on talking parents once a day or so to make sure that there is nothing that you need to address, but you do not have to be there 24/7.

He is clearly bullying you and you need to stop letting him do that to you. Be calm, be polite, and stop being afraid of him.

 

[Ohiogal]

If he goes to court you should expect that he will get half the holidays every year (and they will alternate) and half the summer.

 

[L2L61417]

If he goes to court you should expect that he will get half the holidays every year (and they will alternate) and half the summer.

so that is automatic that if he should take me to court he will get those orders he doesn't have to show a significant change in circumstance? I don't know if I mentioned he will be moving in with his wife/girlfriends parents I have some concerns with that there a buch of people living there and now them 2 adults and 3 children (not including our son that we have)

 

[LdiJ]

so that is automatic that if he should take me to court he will get those orders he doesn't have to show a significant change in circumstance? I don't know if I mentioned he will be moving in with his wife/girlfriends parents I have some concerns with that there a buch of people living there and now them 2 adults and 3 children (not including our son that we have)

Half of the holidays and half of summer is VERY standard. You should expect that the court would consider that to be in the best interest of the child. However, you may be able to get a judge to agree to it being two or three weeks the first summer (taking separate) and perhaps every other week during future summers.

Nothing will happen for THIS summer, because there is just no time to make it happen.

 

[L2L61417]

Half of the holidays and half of summer is VERY standard. You should expect that the court would consider that to be in the best interest of the child. However, you may be able to get a judge to agree to it being two or three weeks the first summer (taking separate) and perhaps every other week during future summers.

Nothing will happen for THIS summer, because there is just no time to make it happen.

So will the court make me change my routine I have signed up our son for a summer camp program which he loves he plays sports swimming and different activities he has been enrolled in this summer long program for the past 5 years will that have to change ?

 

[LdiJ]

So will the court make me change my routine I have signed up our son for a summer camp program which he loves he plays sports swimming and different activities he has been enrolled in this summer long program for the past 5 years will that have to change ?

Yes, it will likely have to change. Again, not for this summer but in the future he will likely only be able to attend the usual summer program part time.

 

[not2cleverRed]

So will the court make me change my routine I have signed up our son for a summer camp program which he loves he plays sports swimming and different activities he has been enrolled in this summer long program for the past 5 years will that have to change ?

That's a while. Shall I assume that this is a day camp? (I would hope people aren't leaving 2 year olds at overnight camp!) Depending on Dad's schedule after he moves, he might be okay with kiddo continuing day camp for part of the summer - or he might have ideas for new, more exciting adventures.

How old is the current court order? How did it come to pass that Dad *didn't* get alternating holidays?

 

[L2L61417]

That's a while. Shall I assume that this is a day camp? (I would hope people aren't leaving 2 year olds at overnight camp!) Depending on Dad's schedule after he moves, he might be okay with kiddo continuing day camp for part of the summer - or he might have ideas for new, more exciting adventures.

How old is the current court order? How did it come to pass that Dad *didn't* get alternating holidays?

This court order was from 6/9/16 and our son is 7 yrs old !!

 

[LdiJ]

This court order was from 6/9/16 and our son is 7 yrs old !!

So, the order is barely a year old? Do tell us why dad did not get half of holidays and summer. Did he not ask for that?

 

[L2L61417]

So, the order is barely a year old? Do tell us why dad did not get half of holidays and summer. Did he not ask for that?

That I do not know everything was soo fast during court hearing ! And the judge had a problem with him he did not like the fact that when asked to meet with my counsel he refused because he wasn't represented and didn't want to talk to my attorney !

 

[L2L61417]

This court order was from 6/9/16 and our son is 7 yrs old !!

Ohh and no it's not an over night camp it's only during the day