What is the name of your state? Pa
In my previous post back in September, I was about to go and file for court ordered custody and support. Shortly after, I filed for support and my ex reacted just as expected, showing up here waving papers in my face and yelling. Long story short, the oldest of our two daughters went to live with him Sept. 17. Three days later, he called "This was a mistake, I can't afford her, etc... She needs to come home." Then, he told her she was coming back home, she guilted him into letting her stay another week. Due to her lying, manipulating, and furthering of a lousy attitude, I gave in and let her stay with him. Six months have now gone by, she is still there. I have maintained all along that it is in her best interest to come back here. But figured some time with him away from here may help her see that.(Stupid, yes I know.) He agrees with me, yet caves in to her. She brags that she gives him the silent treatment for a few days then he does whatever she wants.
We have been working together to come up with an acceptable custody agreement in the meantime. He told me that with her staying with him, he should only have to pay X amount in support now, that's what his attorney told him. I said we'll let Domestic Relations figure all of that out when we get a custody agreement worked out to see if she stays with him or comes home. My intention all along was to get my daughter back here. He knows this, I have told him in nearly every email between the two of us. I wanted both issues addressed at the same time. He agreed. In the past six months, while she has lived with him, he has been paying what we had agreed on for the two kids. Today, I recieved a check in this new amount that his attorney came up with. I understand he has her now, so his support may go down ( he's always paid less than all support calculators say he should) with an official order for support. But for him to all of a sudden change the amount, without my agreeing to it seems wrong. I know he doesn't have to pay a dime without an order, but isn't it showing a pattern when he's paid this non court ordered amount for over three years? Will this be of any use when we go in to get everything official? And not that is will be useful, but my younger daughter has said that dad has started referring to her sister as a dollar amount, coincidentally very close to the difference in what he was paying and the amount of the check I received today.
Is it best to not cash the check and notify him that I'd never agreed to this change? Especially since it's not yet been determined where my daughter will end up. Domestic Relations has told me not to bother filing for support if there's any uncertainty in what's going on as they would probably throw the case out until custody has been decided. Any advice? Thanks.What is the name of your state?
In my previous post back in September, I was about to go and file for court ordered custody and support. Shortly after, I filed for support and my ex reacted just as expected, showing up here waving papers in my face and yelling. Long story short, the oldest of our two daughters went to live with him Sept. 17. Three days later, he called "This was a mistake, I can't afford her, etc... She needs to come home." Then, he told her she was coming back home, she guilted him into letting her stay another week. Due to her lying, manipulating, and furthering of a lousy attitude, I gave in and let her stay with him. Six months have now gone by, she is still there. I have maintained all along that it is in her best interest to come back here. But figured some time with him away from here may help her see that.(Stupid, yes I know.) He agrees with me, yet caves in to her. She brags that she gives him the silent treatment for a few days then he does whatever she wants.
We have been working together to come up with an acceptable custody agreement in the meantime. He told me that with her staying with him, he should only have to pay X amount in support now, that's what his attorney told him. I said we'll let Domestic Relations figure all of that out when we get a custody agreement worked out to see if she stays with him or comes home. My intention all along was to get my daughter back here. He knows this, I have told him in nearly every email between the two of us. I wanted both issues addressed at the same time. He agreed. In the past six months, while she has lived with him, he has been paying what we had agreed on for the two kids. Today, I recieved a check in this new amount that his attorney came up with. I understand he has her now, so his support may go down ( he's always paid less than all support calculators say he should) with an official order for support. But for him to all of a sudden change the amount, without my agreeing to it seems wrong. I know he doesn't have to pay a dime without an order, but isn't it showing a pattern when he's paid this non court ordered amount for over three years? Will this be of any use when we go in to get everything official? And not that is will be useful, but my younger daughter has said that dad has started referring to her sister as a dollar amount, coincidentally very close to the difference in what he was paying and the amount of the check I received today.
Is it best to not cash the check and notify him that I'd never agreed to this change? Especially since it's not yet been determined where my daughter will end up. Domestic Relations has told me not to bother filing for support if there's any uncertainty in what's going on as they would probably throw the case out until custody has been decided. Any advice? Thanks.What is the name of your state?
