dad has full custody daughter lives with me

[angieatky]

What is the name of your state? kentucky
my 13 year old daughter has been living with me for 8 months, her dad has full custody of her, he won't let me fill out any papers for anything on her, every time I mention that she lives with me, he threatens to sue me for child support, that in our divorce records states that wheni get on my feet i get joint custody and start paying child support, I have been on my feet for a while, but the problem i have is my daughter won't go against her dad and admit she lives here, so I don't know what to do. do i need her to talk to the judge or can i do this without her, she told me if i tried to get her to go to court she would leave? not sure how to handle this thanks,
angie

 

[BL]

File a Modification Petition based on the 13 yr old has lived with you for 8 mos. as the Change of circumstances,

At the hearing request a LAW GUARDIAN be appointed for the 13 yr. old.

The Law Guardian is for the child - they will speak with the child and hopefully the child will understand this law guardian is there for the best interest under the law,and hopefully the child will be straight forthcoming.

You should then have no trouble once proved the 13 yr. old has lived with you over 6 mos. to be granted Joint or sole Custody.

Support is a separate issue and should not be used to the benefit or threat of the parents.

You can bring this threat up at the court hearing also. I don't think the court would take kindly to the support threat.

The Child's best interest are the court's concern.

 

[angieatky]

thanks so much, i will try that

 

[doin-it-myself]

Since your daughter has lived with you for 8 months. Don't you have her registered in school.? If so there is your proof. I just went through this also and won my case. The jusge may take into consideration of where your daughter wants to live. Where does she want to live?

 

[angieatky]

the school papers come in the mail to his address, he won't let me fill them out, he fills them out them when i take her to school, all i can do is add myself to them, but he's already filled the parent custody and address part out, i take and picked her p all the last half of the year, they know me there, she wants to live here, but she doesn't want to go against him, she does live here, she just doesn't want to take him to court, said she would leave before urting his feelings, but what about mine, i just don't know whether she will turn against me or not, i have alot of people who know she lives here, so witnesses aren't a problem.

 

[BL]

It's a very confusing time for a 13 yr. old. It sounds like she loves both of you and don't want to hurt either one of your feelings.

Try talking to her about the way the law works.Tell her you're not out to hurt her, or anyone's feelings,but this is an Adult matter to be taken care of for her best interest,and that's the way the way the state sees it.

Sometimes kids,especially teens need things explained.

Even though there are issues between you two adults ,it's always in the best interest of the child to have a loving relationship with both parents.

His threats and attempts to dominate you and the law however have to be addressed. Explain the ( courts ) do not allow such behavior because they look out for children's well being,and you hope things will go as smooth as possible.

Leave out all your animosities in your explanations,and/or comments in front of/or in hearing distance of your daughter.

If she has questions explain them the best you can without hostility or emotions. Above all she needs both your love now.