Dad with full custody, mother wants custody back.

[stealth2]

I agree with the sentiment - but it is, in my opinion, not wise to put the kids even deeper in the middle of this. Once they are there, they are not free to disrespect their mother by getting up and leaving. Of course, the adult can get up and leave, but not the minor children.

Just my take on it.

I disagree. The adult child can act in his/her father's stead and remove the minors from the toxicity.

 

[Zigner]

I disagree. The adult child can act in his/her father's stead and remove the minors from the toxicity.

What right, legally speaking, would the legal stranger have to remove the children from their mother?

 

[stealth2]

What right, legally speaking, would the legal stranger have to remove the children from their mother?

Legally? None. But one assumes that mom would assert that.

 

[CJane]

In Ohio, the custodial parent has a responsibility to facilitate the relationship between the non-custodial parent and the children. Do your part. Your children can survive an hour or two in a public place with their mother over breakfast.

Also. I would hope that the children are being raised better than to think that they can just get up and walk away from a family gathering because someone said something they didn't like.

My kids - 16, 13 and 7 - would fo' sho' never be allowed, let alone encouraged, to get up and walk away from a dinner with ME because I said something they didn't like.

 

[stringplucker]

June update...what a mess!!

The initial hearing in May went well. Due to distance, I didn't attend...but my atty did. The Magistrate asked my atty it there was a major change in our home that would be in the mother's favor...there wasn't. The Magistrate then said "Certainly the Father will be filing for child support, correct?"...of course, my atty produced the papers, and the Magistrate accepted them without a filing fee...that was a good sign.

Last week the children went to see the Magistrate in the case. Their mother said that she would drop the case, if the kids told the magistrate that they didn't want a change. The children told the Magistrate that they wanted to continue to live with me...but that they wanted their mom to see them more. They had discussed with the Magistrate that they would like for her and I to meet at a midway point...which would be about 130 miles from here.

After the Magistrate contacted the attorneys, their mother decided to quit her job of 18 months, just so she wouldn't be ordered to pay support, since I had no plans on dropping my part. I'm on a fixed income due to a disability...I suffer from dizzy spells for no known reason, and they come on randomly...no trigger has yet been found.

Their mother is a nurse...and RN. She purposely kept her income down by working only part time jobs, quitting them when full time was offered, and would file for an increase of support from me when ever she could. Now that there's a real possibility of her being ordered to pay, she quits her job completely. This comes after finally moving out of her parent's home, and into a 3 bedroom apartment and buying a new car.

Due to the older child's employment, she will not be going to Ohio for the summer. It took her 9 months to find this job, and she loves it. I did give the exwife an offer for the summer visitation with our son...I offered her 5 straight weeks instead of the ordered every other week. The constant travel back and forth each week is rough on the boy...5 hours one way in a car for a 14 year old boy is almost torturous on him. Not to mention the difficulty in planning week end activities with his friends.



With her quitting her job, bragging to the kids about doing is so that she won't be ordered to pay child support...what are my options here? What will the Magistrate do once she finds out about their mother doing this?

The cost of traveling in our SUV every other weekend just so their mother can see the kids is going to be expensive. It was one thing to do it when I was able to work and bring in a very nice income...it's another when you're on a limited income with no sign of an increase.

 

[Ohiogal]

The initial hearing in May went well. Due to distance, I didn't attend...but my atty did. The Magistrate asked my atty it there was a major change in our home that would be in the mother's favor...there wasn't. The Magistrate then said "Certainly the Father will be filing for child support, correct?"...of course, my atty produced the papers, and the Magistrate accepted them without a filing fee...that was a good sign.

Last week the children went to see the Magistrate in the case. Their mother said that she would drop the case, if the kids told the magistrate that they didn't want a change. The children told the Magistrate that they wanted to continue to live with me...but that they wanted their mom to see them more. They had discussed with the Magistrate that they would like for her and I to meet at a midway point...which would be about 130 miles from here.

After the Magistrate contacted the attorneys, their mother decided to quit her job of 18 months, just so she wouldn't be ordered to pay support, since I had no plans on dropping my part. I'm on a fixed income due to a disability...I suffer from dizzy spells for no known reason, and they come on randomly...no trigger has yet been found.

Their mother is a nurse...and RN. She purposely kept her income down by working only part time jobs, quitting them when full time was offered, and would file for an increase of support from me when ever she could. Now that there's a real possibility of her being ordered to pay, she quits her job completely. This comes after finally moving out of her parent's home, and into a 3 bedroom apartment and buying a new car.

Due to the older child's employment, she will not be going to Ohio for the summer. It took her 9 months to find this job, and she loves it. I did give the exwife an offer for the summer visitation with our son...I offered her 5 straight weeks instead of the ordered every other week. The constant travel back and forth each week is rough on the boy...5 hours one way in a car for a 14 year old boy is almost torturous on him. Not to mention the difficulty in planning week end activities with his friends.



With her quitting her job, bragging to the kids about doing is so that she won't be ordered to pay child support...what are my options here? What will the Magistrate do once she finds out about their mother doing this?

The cost of traveling in our SUV every other weekend just so their mother can see the kids is going to be expensive. It was one thing to do it when I was able to work and bring in a very nice income...it's another when you're on a limited income with no sign of an increase.

Quite frankly, the child does NOT get to choose whether she goes for visitation. If mom pushes, expect to be found in contempt.

 

[stringplucker]

Quite frankly, the child does NOT get to choose whether she goes for visitation. If mom pushes, expect to be found in contempt.

Wrong...Magistrate has already told her attorney that she will have to work around the child's work schedule. The child is now 17, and has had the job for awhile now. She can come up on the child's days off and take her, but will have to bring her back so she can work. We've also filed for suspension of visitation rights for the daughter, because of her employment and what happened over the Christmas holiday. Their mother said that she is unable to do that, and has put it in writing that she will only be taking our son, not our daughter.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wrong...Magistrate has already told her attorney that she will have to work around the child's work schedule. The child is now 17, and has had the job for awhile now. She can come up on the child's days off and take her, but will have to bring her back so she can work. We've also filed for suspension of visitation rights for the daughter, because of her employment and what happened over the Christmas holiday. Their mother said that she is unable to do that, and has put it in writing that she will only be taking our son, not our daughter.

What does the WRITTEN court order state? That controls. Not what the magistrate says verbally but what does the court order state?

 

[stringplucker]

What does the WRITTEN court order state? That controls. Not what the magistrate says verbally but what does the court order state?

The court order has a provision in it that allows a written and signed agreement concerning visitation to trump the order. That was put in place specifically for a situation like this, at my request. Visitation can and has been changed from the order to allow for unknown circumstances.



Now, back to my question...What can be done about her quitting her job so that she won't be ordered to pay child support? What are my options?

 

[ecmst12]

If she's voluntarily unemployed, she should be ordered to pay support the same as if she were still employed. The judge isn't going to let her off the hook just because she decided to quit her job. Now, she may still choose not to pay, but then she'll be in contempt and will eventually face consequences for that.

 

[Silverplum]

If she's voluntarily unemployed, she should be ordered to pay support the same as if she were still employed. The judge isn't going to let her off the hook just because she decided to quit her job. Now, she may still choose not to pay, but then she'll be in contempt and will eventually face consequences for that.

Therefore, it would be most wise of the OP/his attorney to provide the Judge with helpful examples of what wage workers in Mom's area make in Mom's field.

 

[ecmst12]

Or ask that support be ordered based on what she was making at her previous job.

 

[stringplucker]

Well, as agreed, she picked out son up 5 weeks ago, and will be returning him tomorrow at noon. Not once did she attempt to visit our daughter, nor did she even call her.

Two weeks into her visitation with our son, he called me, begging me to come get him. She works nights, and won't allow him to go anywhere without her. I calmed him down, and had him call his older sister that lives in the area, and to spend time with her...it made his summer much better for him.

He's asked me to not allow a 5 week period next summer, that he can't handle much more than two weeks at a time.

As for court, she claims she's told her attorney to drop the case, but he hasn't. We've filed a motion to compel, since she has yet to return any of the questions for discovery...there's a phone hearing next week. Hopefully by then, she would have officially dropped her motion for custody, and we can move on to child support.

The sooner this ends, the sooner we can get back to life as normal...

 

[single317dad]

He's asked me to not allow a 5 week period next summer, that he can't handle much more than two weeks at a time.

Ask for that in a custody mod, e.g. "Summer visitation shall consist of three nonconsecutive periods, to be exercised in one (1) one-week period and two (2) two-week periods, each separated by at least one full week." You can get even more specific than that, as long as it's something you can agree on.

 

[Just Blue]

Well, as agreed, she picked out son up 5 weeks ago, and will be returning him tomorrow at noon. Not once did she attempt to visit our daughter, nor did she even call her.

Two weeks into her visitation with our son, he called me, begging me to come get him. She works nights, and won't allow him to go anywhere without her. I calmed him down, and had him call his older sister that lives in the area, and to spend time with her...it made his summer much better for him.

He's asked me to not allow a 5 week period next summer, that he can't handle much more than two weeks at a time.

As for court, she claims she's told her attorney to drop the case, but he hasn't. We've filed a motion to compel, since she has yet to return any of the questions for discovery...there's a phone hearing next week. Hopefully by then, she would have officially dropped her motion for custody, and we can move on to child support.

The sooner this ends, the sooner we can get back to life as normal...

So she went back to work?