Daddy Is FINALLY filing 4 CUSTODY!!!

[tigger22472]

You will have to refresh my memory(I just woke up..LOL).. but there's NOT a visitation order in place, correct? If not, technically she's NOT in contempt for visitation.. HOWEVER, it still won't look good for her that she denied you access to the child.. MAKE SURE IT"S DOCUMENTED.

 

[itsallgood]

Yeah; if I were her; I wouldn't let the baby go either.

As long as there is NO custody agreement; either of you can take the baby and not return her.

and as gung ho as you are on taking the baby from her mom; if I was mom; I too would keep baby; and explain my fears if you tried to use it against me.

As long as she is a good mom; you are not going to win custody. I hope you realize that. YOu can waste a lot of money doing this.

Keep in the child's life; and when the child is older; you will have a very good chance of winning 50/50. But they are NOT going to do that for a baby. And for a baby; 99.9% of cases that I am aware of; where the mother was a good mother; the baby stays with the mother.

Good luck.I hope you are doing this for all the right reasons. You seem to thrive in the limelight.

 

[tigger22472]

Yeah; if I were her; I wouldn't let the baby go either.

As long as there is NO custody agreement; either of you can take the baby and not return her.

and as gung ho as you are on taking the baby from her mom; if I was mom; I too would keep baby; and explain my fears if you tried to use it against me.

As long as she is a good mom; you are not going to win custody. I hope you realize that. YOu can waste a lot of money doing this.

Keep in the child's life; and when the child is older; you will have a very good chance of winning 50/50. But they are NOT going to do that for a baby. And for a baby; 99.9% of cases that I am aware of; where the mother was a good mother; the baby stays with the mother.

Good luck.I hope you are doing this for all the right reasons. You seem to thrive in the limelight.

And answers like that is what stops good parents from fighting for their rights. This father has JUST as much right to raise his child as the mother and until more fathers start standing up for those rights people like you will continue to knock them down. The age of the child should not matter. Men are not complete morons and can take care of a baby too!!

 

[itsallgood]

This child is 9 months old. How is taking this 9 month old baby away from where she has spent every night of her life thus far GOOD?

I agree when the child is older; to start increasing visitation to where it is even up to an even 50/50 placement; but encouraging a dad to TAKE A 9 MONTH OLD away from her home to me is absolutely insane.

I've been following this story for a while. Finally couldn't take it anymore; and registered just to respond to you. I live in the South; so my laws could be much different than yours; but when my child was born; EX was told either take the visitation or WASTE his money fighting for custody of a baby when he was never married to me. I never heard from him except during the last month of pregnancy; then he popped up wanting this right and that right; and threatened to take the baby. I told him to try. Again; you might get joint custody of a baby; but it will be on paper only. Primary placement is going to remain with that child's mom. As it should.

 

[tigger22472]

This child is 9 months old. How is taking this 9 month old baby away from where she has spent every night of her life thus far GOOD?

I agree when the child is older; to start increasing visitation to where it is even up to an even 50/50 placement; but encouraging a dad to TAKE A 9 MONTH OLD away from her home to me is absolutely insane.

I've been following this story for a while. Finally couldn't take it anymore; and registered just to respond to you. I live in the South; so my laws could be much different than yours; but when my child was born; EX was told either take the visitation or WASTE his money fighting for custody of a baby when he was never married to me. I never heard from him except during the last month of pregnancy; then he popped up wanting this right and that right; and threatened to take the baby. I told him to try. Again; you might get joint custody of a baby; but it will be on paper only. Primary placement is going to remain with that child's mom. As it should.

Again. I disagree. In fact it's EASIER at 9 months to readjust the child. And secondly I wonder if you would feel this way if mom wasn't taking care of the child and went out every single night or was on drugs... Just because you give birth doesn't make you the better parent!! Just because we can spit them out doesn't mean that we are always the better parent.

OP.. you do what it takes!!!

 

[itsallgood]

I so disagree with you ENCOURAGING a man; who apparently just THRIVES on all this attention to take away a baby from a mom; that even by his descriptions is not a bad mother.

It would be one thing if he was trying for joint custody of the baby; but you all have jumped on the TAKE AWAY THE BABY BANDWAGON....WHY; for all the OTHER fathers out there who don't have custody of their kids.

Not because it is better for the baby(it isn't); not becasue the mother is abusive; drug addicted; or a prosititute(she isn't) but SOLEY BECAUSE he represents all the men out there that you know that do not have custody of their kids.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

A 9 month old that has only known HER surroundings; then to be UPROOTED and moved to dad's; who has already told us he works all day; and will hire a sitter; is just INSANE to me you all are encouraging him to TAKE THE BABY AWAY.

Again; file for joint custody. He WILL GET 50/50 legal; and she will get primary physical and he will get visitaiton. If he keeps up his pledge to be dad of the year; in a few short years; he could very well have his daughter 50% of the time in his home.

Which I ADVOCATE! 50/50 is perfect. But not after 9 months; not when the 9 month old has never spent the night with her father; not when the father will work from 9 to 5; and already admits to taking visitation at 11pm(how is that good?); not when a PATTERN has been set.

 

[tigger22472]

Ok.. so are we encouraging mom to get on welfare to support her child so she doesn't have to work a 9-5 job??

I stand by my statement... Just because a mother gives birth to a child doesn't AUTOMATICALLY make her the 'better' parent and I totally disagree that he should have to wait a few years to get 50/50 physical custody... that is just plain flat out sexist. It's a shame that your ex wasnt' more involved in your child's life but that doesn't mean every man is incompetent.

 

[itsallgood]

He has told us mom has a support system (which IS a big deal in the judes eyes) to help out with baby. Much different than; well "I will just hire someone" (that is exactly what he said) Babies need their PARENTS: people they know; familarity....I can't believe he wants to do this to his daughter.

So; no not encouraging moms to get on welfare; but I see a lot that is FLAWED in the OP's way of thinking.

 

[itsallgood]

...

. Just because a mother gives birth to a child doesn't AUTOMATICALLY make her the 'better' parent and I totally disagree that he should have to wait a few years to get 50/50 physical custody...

No; just becuase she gave birth; it does not make her the better parent; but again; without GENERALIZING; in THIS CASE; you have a mom that has been there for 9 months; the mom has a family support system; the mom did not start withholding the child UNTIL dad told her he was suing for custody; DAD WANTS to put child in a brand new enviroment; and uproot all this child knows; then turn around and just plan on HIRING someone to take care of the child most of the time.

So; UNTIL DAD CAN PROVE HE IS THE BETTER PARENT: AND HE CAN NOT PROVE MOM IS THE UNFIT PARENT ..... HE IS NOT GOING TO WIN THIS CASE; and I CAN"T BELIEVE HE WAS ENCOURAGED TO DO THIS.

He very well may come out the bad guy.

 

[itsallgood]

Is HTML not working?

 

[tigger22472]

I'm done arguing with you. You are nothing but a selfish POS CP who thinks she runs everything and is ALL knowing.. You go right on ahead with your 1950's thinking that mom's always know best for their children and live in your little fantasy world. I can only hope that your children grow up and learn differently.

 

[WyattJ]

My son has been going to his dad's house for visits since he was 2 months old and I'm talking weekend visits. Of course, at that time when we were able to communicate better I was able to go over and help with anything. Now my son is 9 and he just thinks its normal for the visits.

I believe the younger the child is the better to start visits so they get used to it. The older they are they usually don't want to leave the parent that they are used to being with all the time.

 

[itsallgood]

Hmmm ran out of things to say so; reverting to name calling....

Or is it you saw where i was right; so; revert to name calling.

Mature. I thought this was a debate. I thought I had someone debate worthy on the other end of the connection.

 

[amarie]

Ok.. so are we encouraging mom to get on welfare to support her child so she doesn't have to work a 9-5 job??

I stand by my statement... Just because a mother gives birth to a child doesn't AUTOMATICALLY make her the 'better' parent and I totally disagree that he should have to wait a few years to get 50/50 physical custody... that is just plain flat out sexist. It's a shame that your ex wasnt' more involved in your child's life but that doesn't mean every man is incompetent.

I advocate 50/50 in the instance of two fit parents. But I also feel that it is different for infants. If it is a situation where the parents are divorced and the baby knows both of them as equal caretakers, in the home environment then by all means do 50/50. Just keep the routines and separate home lives as similar as possible. Babies after all thrive on similarity and routine.

Now in an unmarried situation it is totally different. That baby is used to being with his/her primary caretaker, if that is the mother then so be it. And that takes allot of phsycological wieght. Rippin that bond can be dangerous for some infants. So why risk it? Why not first acclamate the babe to the father's environment with a stepped up parenting plan that will eventually lead to 50/50. Its not about male or female, or sexism it is about infant bonding and the important role it plays in development. It just so happens that women become pregnant, women have the babies, women have the breasts that produce milk ect. It's nature.. And because of this women are often times the primary caregiver.

Untop of that, this father would rather leave the babe with a stranger then with her own family, how right is that?

And, personally I would not let him take the babe either out of fear that he won't bring her back. That is life in this custody hell you got to watch your back..

amarie

 

[tigger22472]

It's only a debate when the person you are debating with has an open mind and not closed minded as you are. People like you will never get it through your head that you could even remotely be WRONG.

And just so that you know I'm a CP of two boys whose father hasn't seen them in over two years and the stepmother of an 8 year old whose DH has 50/50(2 weeks here, 2 weeks there).