daughter molested-but system failed her

[sonille]

Florida: I have a 6 year old daughter with a man whom I never married, but his name is on the birth cert. split up when she was 1yr-never went to court to distinguish custody,etc- we agreed i would have custody and he saw her every other weekend & one night each week, and he payed me child supp. when my daughter was 4, she came home from his house & said her father molested her. We went thru the dept of children and families, and it was found that she did have indications of abuse(redness and swelling of tissues). dept closed the case after judge in restraining order hearing stated he could not believe the word of a 4yr old. father has not seen her in 1y9mo no phone contact but sends occasional card(not given to child)child continues to talk about incidents, expressing not to want to see father, wanting to change lat name to my married name, calling stepfather "dad", etc.everyone in the system failed to protect my daughter from her father. If he decides to pursue visitation, how can I protect my daughter? Can I legally change her name to my maiden name or have her adopted by my husband? I fear if he were find out I were pursuing anything he may decide to fight against it. sorry this is so long!

 

[LegalBeagle]

Florida: I have a 6 year old daughter with a man whom I never married, but his name is on the birth cert. split up when she was 1yr-never went to court to distinguish custody,etc- we agreed i would have custody and he saw her every other weekend & one night each week, and he payed me child supp. when my daughter was 4, she came home from his house & said her father molested her. We went thru the dept of children and families, and it was found that she did have indications of abuse(redness and swelling of tissues). dept closed the case after judge in restraining order hearing stated he could not believe the word of a 4yr old. father has not seen her in 1y9mo no phone contact but sends occasional card(not given to child)child continues to talk about incidents, expressing not to want to see father, wanting to change lat name to my married name, calling stepfather "dad", etc.everyone in the system failed to protect my daughter from her father. If he decides to pursue visitation, how can I protect my daughter? Can I legally change her name to my maiden name or have her adopted by my husband? I fear if he were find out I were pursuing anything he may decide to fight against it. sorry this is so long!

Regarding the abuse case being closed, if there was medical evidence, then it should not have been closed in the way you state.

.. write to Jeb at

Governor Jeb Bush
fl_governor@myflorida.com
The Capitol
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001
Telephone:
850/488-4441
Fax: 850/487-0801

and Guis who is the IG for the Dept of Children and Families.

Guiseppe Betta, Inspector General
guiseppe_betta@dcf.state.fl.us
Telephone: 850.488.1225
FAX: 850.488.1428
Postal address: 1317 Winewood Blvd, Bldg 5 2nd Floor, Tallahassee, FL 32399-0700


and Marcia Cooke who is the Chief Inspector General (sorry, I have lost her address)

Tel: 850-922-4637
Fax: 850-921-0817
Fl_govig@eog.state.fl.us


and Lt. Governor Frank T. Brogan

fl_ltgov@myflorida.com
The Capitol
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001
Telephone:
850/488-4711
Fax: 850/921-6114

Might as well do bobby boy while your at it..

Senator Bob Graham
bob_graham@graham.senate.gov
524 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Phone (202) 224-3041
Fax (202) 224-2237


and for good measure..

Bill Nelson
senator@billnelson.senate.gov
United States Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
(202) 224-5274

Then find your Representative
http://www.house.gov/writerep/
and write to them too..

 

[Ukiah]

Florida: I have a 6 year old daughter with a man whom I never married, but his name is on the birth cert. split up when she was 1yr-never went to court to distinguish custody,etc- we agreed i would have custody and he saw her every other weekend & one night each week, and he payed me child supp. when my daughter was 4, she came home from his house & said her father molested her. We went thru the dept of children and families, and it was found that she did have indications of abuse(redness and swelling of tissues). dept closed the case after judge in restraining order hearing stated he could not believe the word of a 4yr old. father has not seen her in 1y9mo no phone contact but sends occasional card(not given to child)child continues to talk about incidents, expressing not to want to see father, wanting to change lat name to my married name, calling stepfather "dad", etc.everyone in the system failed to protect my daughter from her father. If he decides to pursue visitation, how can I protect my daughter? Can I legally change her name to my maiden name or have her adopted by my husband? I fear if he were find out I were pursuing anything he may decide to fight against it. sorry this is so long!

IF indeed this has happened, you should have been able to get a S.A.R.T. (Sexual Assault Response Team)Referal by a police officer or Child Protective Services.

Since this was a year and 9 months ago, there isn't any reason why a referal would help.

IF you try to change the name of the child or have her adopted by your current husband, you will have to notify the father at his last known address. So that he can contest the issue, or agree to it.

You should put your child in therapy, or some kind of counseling.. this will help in the future if the father decides he wants to see his daughter. If there are significant findings, the counselor or therapist can write a letter for you to give to the Judge. They may subpoena the records of the counselor/ therapist, as well as any records from a doctor which had seen the child previously.

I know what you mean by the system failing your daughter, the same happened to me. My daughter was molested when she was 2, I made police reports, contacted CPS, and even had witnesses to what she has said, counseling. You know what went wrong? WE were in the middle of a divorce. And because of that fact, the Judge dismissed the "allegations". He had previously been kept from his oldest daughter for the same reasons, being put on supervised visits. The Judge said the two children were different cases, even though they involved the same parent..

Your case is different due to the fact that you are not in litigation, so what I have offered you should help your case far more than it did mine.

 

[sonille]

in response to your reply I did seek the help of an attorney and a christian psychologist(referred to me by the doctor I worked for). The attorney sat on $1000 of mine for more than 8 months and never accomplished anything. The counselor refused to help me once he was told he may be used in a legal situation to help my daugher. My daughter's hymen was still intact, but from what she has told us(over the last 1y9m) and "showed" us(at the time she was telling mommy what happened)it was presumably finger and hand molestation. I have attempted to get copies of her dept of children and families file, but from what I have been told I am not allowed to get this. The dept of caf social worker changed 3 times in a matter of 15 days my daughter and my family were questioned dozens of times(father questioned once)The officers were very helpful in getting us referred and suggesting the restraining order. In fact they wanted to arrest him that night, but the ball dropped when dcf and the detective got it. they treated me and my family like we were the accused and turned this around to suggest that i had made it up!(FOR WHAT REASON) I am the one who always encouraged him to be a part of her life and continue to be her father dispite what differences we may have had.

 

[Ukiah]

The attorney sat on $1000 of mine for more than 8 months and never accomplished anything.

Make a complaint against him/her to the Bar.

The counselor refused to help me once he was told he may be used in a legal situation to help my daugher.

Most counselors don't want to be involved in any kind of litigation. Try having one write you a letter. OR When/if you do find a new therapist, let them know you will need soemthing in writing about your child's status.

I have attempted to get copies of her dept of children and families file, but from what I have been told I am not allowed to get this.

You may find it necessary to subpoena the records. Find out what Codes apply to the Freedom Of Information Act in your state. You can call your Attorney General's Office and they will give you the information, and where to find it.

The ball dropped when dcf and the detective got it. they treated me and my family like we were the accused and turned this around to suggest that i had made it up!(FOR WHAT REASON)

This is more than likely due to the fact that more and more women are using this as a means to alienate the child from the father. Even though you aren't doing this.

If the Father hasn't had contact in almost two years, I wouldn't worry about this too much, but do be prepared.

What are you trying to accomplish currently?

Maybe get an attorney out side of your city, who can help.