daughter turning against mom

[luvsherkid]

What is the name of your state?NJ

My daughter is very close to turning 13. I was to get her today at 10am. We had words on the phone earlier and she chose not to come. I went to the Police Dept. in the town where she was, at her dads. The officer was very nice at first and said he would help. Then he made my daughter and her step-mother come to the station. He spoke with them and came out 20 minutes later with a whole new attitude and spoke to me like I was dirt. He tried to twist words that I said I didn't want her today, which is not what I said. He and his superior practically threw me out and told me to go to Superior Court on Monday. He also advised that my daughter would not be with me at all this weekend! My ex husband does anything he can to undermine our (my daughter and I) relationship. His wife bad mouths me all over the community. I can not afford a lawyer! I feel I am going to loose her all together! I love her more than life it self. Latley she has been fed lies about my ex's marriage. Of course, all slant as me being the baddy! It is crap! They are trying to compensate for their mistakes! He was not even going to let me take her to Palm Sunday Services! Please, any advice?

 

[Jillian483]

Read this...
About a year after Mr. and Mrs. L were divorced, Mr. L. appeared before a family court judge with a serious complaint. His children hated him, Mr. L said, and the source of their deep animosity was their mother, the former Mrs. L. Interviews with the children and psychological experts persuaded the court that Mr. L's grievance was valid. The court fined Mrs. L and ordered her to "do everything in her power to create in the minds of the children a loving, caring feeling toward their father." When Mrs. L flatly refused to comply with its order, the court cited her for contempt.
In appealing the court's ruling and the contempt citation, Mrs. L. claimed that the court's order violated her constitutional right to free speech by illegally restricting what she could say to her children about their father.
An appellate court upheld the original anti-alienation order, the financial sanction that accompanied the order, and the contempt citation, finding, somewhat forcefully, that "the cause of the blind, brainwashed, bigoted belligerence of the children toward their father grew from the soil nurtured, watered, and tilled by the mother. The court is thoroughly convinced that the mother breached every duty she owed as the custodial parent os instilling love, respect and feeling for the father. Worse, she slowly dripped poison into the minds of the children, maybe even beyond the power of this court to antidote. But the court will try."

Maybe this will give you an idea of a course of action to take. I am not really sure, however, what you can do about the cops. I hope this helps.

 

[FLFamof5]

Did the Police give you any paperwork?

If you have read many of the posts on here you will hear time and time again that children cannot choose what they want to do in regards to visitation if you are following your court order.

You need to document and file a contempt charge.

 

[Jillian483]

If you have read many of the posts on here you will hear time and time again that children cannot choose what they want to do in regards to visitation if you are following your court order.

You need to document and file a contempt charge.

The tricky thing here though it showing that the reason that you are filing for contept on visitation is because of your child hating you because of her father. You would probably win either way but if you just go in there and say that you child hates you but you want to force her to visit you anyway will look really bad on you.

 

[luvsherkid]

no paperwork

The police officer refused to give me a copy of the "paper" I filled out. It was a complaint, I believe. I live in a different town from my ex and the officer stated that since my daughter was to be "dropped" off at my house this morning and I do not live in their town, I should go to my police department! He was so NASTY! My ex and I have joint custody, but he thinks he has full! Do I have a case against the officer?

 

[Jillian483]

The police officer refused to give me a copy of the "paper" I filled out. It was a complaint, I believe. I live in a different town from my ex and the officer stated that since my daughter was to be "dropped" off at my house this morning and I do not live in their town, I should go to my police department! He was so NASTY! My ex and I have joint custody, but he thinks he has full! Do I have a case against the officer?

The cop cannot refuse you the paperwork from my knowledge, but you should be going through your own police department. They will help you there by contacting the police department where your daughter is. They can assist you in getting the paperwork. Did you read the story?

 

[ENASNI]

um

ehnnh eh I don't do Oprah
Good luck

 

[Jillian483]

ehnnh eh I don't do Oprah
Good luck

Why not? Is it not true that most of this stuff on these posts should be on opra. Well I guess most are better suited to Jerry Springer.

 

[FLFamof5]

You would probably win either way but if you just go in there and say that you child hates you but you want to force her to visit you anyway will look really bad on you.

That will not look bad on her. How can you say that? She has visitation.. this was her visitation weekend and more then likely a judge will slap the CP on the wrist for allowing the child to make a decision. UGH!

IMO.. forget the he said/she said stuff...forget trying to file anything against the police officer and file a contempt charge... contact the police dept that you went to a speak to a supervisor etc.. keep climbing the ladder until you get someone to give you the paperwork that you filed (complaint).

 

[Jillian483]

That will not look bad on her. How can you say that? She has visitation.. this was her visitation weekend and more then likely a judge will slap the CP on the wrist for allowing the child to make a decision. UGH!

IMO.. forget the he said/she said stuff...forget trying to file anything against the police officer and file a contempt charge... contact the police dept that you went to a speak to a supervisor etc.. keep climbing the ladder until you get someone to give you the paperwork that you filed (complaint).

She would win though

 

[stealth2]

This is exactly why the cops hate to get involved in custody/visitation issues. Unless the order specifically states that the cops are to enforce visitation, all they legally CAN do is file a report. The reason you didn't get a copy is likely because it hadn't been filed in the system yet. You can call them tomorrow morning and ask for a copy of it - you may have to go pick it up or they may fax it to you.

For the rest, yes, you have to go to court. Don't be surprised if you don't get far claiming alienation. Many 13yo girls are not on the best of terms with their parents - especially Mom. And..... there is your side of the story, his side of the story, your daughter's side of the story - and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

 

[ENASNI]

ditto

What she said.

 

[Jillian483]

For the rest, yes, you have to go to court. Don't be surprised if you don't get far claiming alienation. Many 13yo girls are not on the best of terms with their parents - especially Mom. And..... there is your side of the story, his side of the story, your daughter's side of the story - and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

That is what I was saying with her just going into court and throwing claims around. It wouldn't be a good idea