dead beat dad, sort of

[kmom23]

What is the name of your state? CT
Okay before I ask my question I want to give a run down of the situation. My daughter's father does not pay child support due to the fact that he is disabled. I do get a little bit of money every month from Social Security from his number. He is not required to give me a dime, nor has he even offered. He has visitation two-four times a week depending on the week. The money from SS does not even cover the gas to go and get her, nevermind the every day expenses a one year old will need. I am sure that it will go up over time. I know that I cannot get more from social security...but he has started to work under the table so he can still collect from SS.
Okay, here is the question part. When I asked him if he was going to help me now that he has a job he said he doesn't know yet. I don't understand how he can work under the table and not feel that he has to help me out with his daughter at all. Is there a way that I can get him back to court to help me pay for things. He is on disability because he says he cannot work, which he apparently can seeing he is now. I feel that my daughter is getting stiffed, as well as me from the lack of support that I get. He doesn't offer to get diapers, or anything. I would love some advice so I know what avenue I can go down. thank you in advance

 

[stealth2]

You can take him to court for support, but you're going to have to prove that he's working. Not an easy thing when it's under the table.

 

[BL]

If you are low income file for State aid to help you out .

Just because he may be making extra money on the side doesn't mean he's not disabled .

A person receiving disability can also work a legitamement Job , and if he/she makes under $810.00 per month , will not lose the SS .

If he/she made over that amount for a period of time , they would lose it .

 

[absconder]

If this guy isnt stuffin envelopes at home Id bet hes doing a physical job. A video of him working out just might persuade him to buy some food and diapers for this kid. Kids on the losing end here.

 

[kmom23]

If you are low income file for State aid to help you out .

Just because he may be making extra money on the side doesn't mean he's not disabled .

A person receiving disability can also work a legitamement Job , and if he/she makes under $810.00 per month , will not lose the SS .

If he/she made over that amount for a period of time , they would lose it .

I cannot file for low income because I live with my parents and they take the total amount made by everyone in the house. He is saying that he cannot do physical labor, and that is exactly what he is doing. And on top of everything is making MUCH more than $810.00 a month. He is making $500 a week, so I don't understand how he is not responsible for giving me any money to help me support HIS daughter. Why he can live it nice, while I cannot even afford child care so I can get a job. Why isn't he responsible to help support her because he is DISABLED. That didn't stop him from having a kid, so now he should be able to help. I am disabled also, so I guess that means the state should have to pay, but I am not lazy. That is all what he is...lazy.

 

[LdiJ]

I cannot file for low income because I live with my parents and they take the total amount made by everyone in the house. He is saying that he cannot do physical labor, and that is exactly what he is doing. And on top of everything is making MUCH more than $810.00 a month. He is making $500 a week, so I don't understand how he is not responsible for giving me any money to help me support HIS daughter. Why he can live it nice, while I cannot even afford child care so I can get a job. Why isn't he responsible to help support her because he is DISABLED. That didn't stop him from having a kid, so now he should be able to help. I am disabled also, so I guess that means the state should have to pay, but I am not lazy. That is all what he is...lazy.

I like the idea of getting a videotape of him working...preferibly multiple times...that really might make him cough up some help.

 

[kmom23]

If this guy isnt stuffin envelopes at home Id bet hes doing a physical job. A video of him working out just might persuade him to buy some food and diapers for this kid. Kids on the losing end here.

I really like this idea also. It would be a slight haul to get the video, because he works two hours from my house. But it would DEFINITELY be worth it in the end! Thank you for that suggestion, it is really good!

 

[rscrd]

I would be really careful on how you use the video tape, if you are not prepared to give it to the appropriate agencies and plan to "hold it over his head" to try to get him to do the right thing, it could backfire and you could face charges of extortion, or even aiding and abeding..by having knowledge that a crime is being committed and failing to report with receiving the under the table money for your silence.
I would go the honest route, since your parents are providing for you and your child, try to go back to school. There are alot of grants for single moms, and many colleges have day care facilities that will pay for your child as long as you have good grades and attendance. Try for legitimate 4 year and 2 year colleges with state and federal grants available. Especially if as you say you are disabled you could do very well at college. And the ultimate benefit is that you will earn more for the years to come.
Good luck to you and your daughter.

 

[kmom23]

I would be really careful on how you use the video tape, if you are not prepared to give it to the appropriate agencies and plan to "hold it over his head" to try to get him to do the right thing, it could backfire and you could face charges of extortion, or even aiding and abeding..by having knowledge that a crime is being committed and failing to report with receiving the under the table money for your silence.
I would go the honest route, since your parents are providing for you and your child, try to go back to school. There are alot of grants for single moms, and many colleges have day care facilities that will pay for your child as long as you have good grades and attendance. Try for legitimate 4 year and 2 year colleges with state and federal grants available. Especially if as you say you are disabled you could do very well at college. And the ultimate benefit is that you will earn more for the years to come.
Good luck to you and your daughter.

You brought up a lot of really good points that I honestly didn't think of. I am currently going to school, and proud to say I have a 3.75 average. I am going to school to be a paralegal, and then eventually a attorney. I just started these courses, so I am not fluent with any of the laws yet. But school is definitely a great route for anyone to go down!