Dealing with Wife's Boyfriend

[crayiii]

What is the name of your state? WA


Through out our seperation, my wife's boyfriend has been a problem. He has called me and threatened to kill me if I didn't allow him to adopt my son, he has told me he is the dad now, and it goes on and on and on.

Now my wife says that because she works until 10pm, I will be picking up and dropping off our son to her boyfriend next weekend.

I asked that for the time being that she and I deal directly with one another until things get calmed down.

For example, Sunday, the boyfriend called me and told me that I needed to pay for a portion of the return airline ticket even though the court order says otherwise. I told him that I couldn't afford it as I was already paying for 75% of the travel. He lit into me on the phone and I told him that I wasn't going to deal with him and hung up.

He called and spoke with my girlfriend (a couple of months ago) and told her that I was using her and that I was going to do bad things to her, etc.

For almost 6-months he helped my wife hide our child from me. For the past 3-months he has been writting declarations to the court that are full of lies about me (we have never even met).

The transfer that is coming up is only the second time I've seen my son in almost a year and the first "physical" transfer ever. I just thought that it would be better if I didn't have to deal with the boyfriend.

I compromised and asked that she and I do the transfer in a public place on Sat. morning instead of he and I on Friday night.

Am I wrong?

 

[Grace_Adler]

Hell no you're not wrong! Screw him! He has nothing to do with this. So that idiot thinks he is going to adopt your kid? Wonder how he is going to do that without your consent and not being married to the mother. What an idiot! LOL

I'd get every shred of evidence I have on him making these threats, etc. Gather all the ammunition you can against him, even give him some space to let him hang himself some more, then go get a restraining order or no conact order or whatever you can on him. Meanwhile, also consult with a good attorney on this because they can help you come up with a good strategy.

If they keep you from seeing your child again, file for full custody. I think I'd be making some threats of my own!

 

[Silverplum]

I don't think you're wrong, except on one thing: I wouldn't give up one second of time with my kid because BF is a jerk. I would insist on exchange at the local police station, on the scheduled date and time (Friday.)

 

[BL]

Ok My X ( we were still married at the time ) , took me to Court for " Sole Custody ) LOL.

She had a number of abuser boyfriends , and with each one wanted me to give up my rights , and these adopt my children .

The last one , they were in the Parking lot of the Courthouse , and after Court I wanted to discuss something with her , so I caught them before they left .

She said to me , " I don't want you to have nothing to do with me or the children .

Her boyfriend in tow said something to me .

Here is how I handled him , and her .

Me to him : Pointing my finger in his face : You have nothing to do with this . These are our children , so you shut up .

Me turning to her : If you think I'm going to give up my rights to my children and have these jerks adopt my children , you got a screw lose lady .

Joint Custody with me having visitations was awarded . Ironically shortly after Her And Him absconded and hid the children in another state against the court orders .

Bottom line my Friend , get the artillery out , and tell the Jerk were the bear Get my drift . Handle them both in Court as was advised . Also , you have NO obligation to have BF involved in anything relating to your children , and you certainly do not have to put up with his calls or threats .

Go to the Police and ask them what can you do , to stop his delusional macho man behaviors , legally .

 

[bradybunchmom]

damm meddling bf and ex

boy if i had pulled that stunt with my stepkids, id be in major trouble. theyre the ones who are wring, theyre kidnappers.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

boy if i had pulled that stunt with my stepkids, id be in major trouble. theyre the ones who are wring, theyre kidnappers

Kelly,
Please refrain from answering until you know what you are talking about, there are no elements of kidnapping here. They are still married, now there are court orders, he doesn't have to deal with the BF but then he might not get his visitation.
Shouldn't you be supervising your 12+ children, someone needs their diaper changed I'm sure.

 

[BL]

OK Ok lets keep on the subject for the OP , they are real issues .

There was NOTHING in the OP's Post to reflect Parental Kidnapping . There were no mention of pre-existing orders .

Also even IF there were pre-existing Orders , there is a difference between Contempt for violation of visitation order and Parental Kidnapping .

Lets do some home work , or have knowledge to back up Advice , please .

 

[bradybunchmom]

to blond lebinese

im sorry for my language, but he made me mad. i apologize to you blond lebinese, but not to met

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? WA


Through out our seperation, my wife's boyfriend has been a problem. He has called me and threatened to kill me if I didn't allow him to adopt my son, he has told me he is the dad now, and it goes on and on and on.

Now my wife says that because she works until 10pm, I will be picking up and dropping off our son to her boyfriend next weekend.

I asked that for the time being that she and I deal directly with one another until things get calmed down.

For example, Sunday, the boyfriend called me and told me that I needed to pay for a portion of the return airline ticket even though the court order says otherwise. I told him that I couldn't afford it as I was already paying for 75% of the travel. He lit into me on the phone and I told him that I wasn't going to deal with him and hung up.

He called and spoke with my girlfriend (a couple of months ago) and told her that I was using her and that I was going to do bad things to her, etc.

For almost 6-months he helped my wife hide our child from me. For the past 3-months he has been writting declarations to the court that are full of lies about me (we have never even met).

The transfer that is coming up is only the second time I've seen my son in almost a year and the first "physical" transfer ever. I just thought that it would be better if I didn't have to deal with the boyfriend.

I compromised and asked that she and I do the transfer in a public place on Sat. morning instead of he and I on Friday night.

Am I wrong?

I ended up putting my ex's boyfriend at the time in jail. I recorded all of his threats on tape. One night he called me 140 times in the span of 4 hours. It was horrible. But I got the tape and took it to the police. They charged him with phone harrasment and gave him a no contact order, probation for 8 months, anger management courses and all the good stuff that comes with being a convict.
I took it a step further. He was a school teacher and said some pretty racist remarks, and since I had them on tape, I called the HR department and informed them about the whole incident then they fired him.
She has since married this crazy and has not changed one bit. Only difference is that he's always putting my son in the middle of everything because he can't grow up. She does nothing about it either.
So I guess the advice here is to document, record and do everything to get as much evidence on this clown. Then make the pay.
JMO.