Dealings with an ex

[cmptrtechswife]

What is the name of your state? CA

I can't believe this! I need some opinions...please help!

My ex doesn't see my oldest child...they don't have a relationship - which is a pattern with him. Anyway, a birthday for him is coming up and it is my year to have him, which is no big deal since he doesn't visit the ex anyway.

Here lays the problem: our current order says that we are modeling our order after his other ex order so his daugther and our kids can have holidays together. Nothing is mentioned about our oldest child because at that time he was visiting. Don't you think if they get to spend their holiday time together that the other kids should be home to spend time with their older sibling?

I tried to talk to him and of course he is being difficult. What to do?

Then, my two youngest ones were at dinner last night and the little one starts telling us about this video he seen where there are two cars
driving and the one driver flips the other one the bird. The other one goes on to say, Yeah it is cool...it is called Some (and startes spelling B) I stopped him(getting mad mind you) and asked them where they seen this at and they said their fathers. Then went on to explain that it isn't Bitch but Beach.

I looked it up just now...watched the video and I can't believe it...I am mad as hell...this is adult content that children should not be subjected to.

So, I will go back to reading 'Joint Custody With a Jerk: Raising a Child With an Uncooperative Ex '...I highly recommend it to everyone
> him

 

[SMURFEELAW]

I'm a little confused---- what are you asking?

 

[stealth2]

I don't get the question, either.

But the video is going to come under parenting styles & differences and there's nothing you'll be able to do about it.

 

[jslopez711]

I think what she is trying to say that her court order does not include their oldest child and would like to include the oldest child so that all the syblings could be together during the holidays......(perhaps)

 

[cmptrtechswife]

I am sorry. I was asking if my kids order is written so that they can be with their older sibling on their father side, shouldn't they be allowed to spend their other siblings birthday that lives with me with him?

I get this year for all the kids birthday but it is the ex's weekend to have them.

 

[stealth2]

How about we do this - type out exactly what your order says. 'Cause it's not clear what it says.

 

[Kevmar44]

So, I will go back to reading 'Joint Custody With a Jerk: Raising a Child With an Uncooperative Ex '...I highly recommend it to everyone
> him[/QUOTE]

Is this a real book? If so I need to get it! My ex is king of the jerks!

Now about your problem. How old is your oldest? Why doesn't dad have a relationship with him/her? Are the younger kids step brothers?

And my ex took our son to see Lethal Weapon 4 when he was 7!! It's called trying to be cool for your kids instead of being a dad.

 

[cmptrtechswife]

Here it is:

The parties agree that the holiday schedule will coincide with Husband’s holiday schedule with his daughter from a prior marriage, so that all the children can be together for the holidays, as follows:…

Kid’s Birthday – Even Years to Mother & Odd Years to Father

From 3:00 PM to 8:00 PM

• If the birthdays fall on a Friday or a Saturday, the visit shall be extended to the following day at 9:00 AM.

Since birthdays are listed under holidays, shouldn't the kids that go to the ex's house get to come home and spend it with their sibling?

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Here it is:

The parties agree that the holiday schedule will coincide with Husband’s holiday schedule with his daughter from a prior marriage, so that all the children can be together for the holidays, as follows:…

Kid’s Birthday – Even Years to Mother & Odd Years to Father

From 3:00 PM to 8:00 PM

• If the birthdays fall on a Friday or a Saturday, the visit shall be extended to the following day at 9:00 AM.

Since birthdays are listed under holidays, shouldn't the kids that go to the ex's house get to come home and spend it with their sibling?

Sounds to me like the Court order states that it coincides w/ dads other schedule not if you have another child outside of that union or a child that is not going to the visitation.

 

[cmptrtechswife]

Yes, the book is real and it is helpful...along with a couple other internet websites for divorced parents. You can get it at Wal-Mart or Barnes and Nobles.

The child that doesn't go visit is almost a teenager. They don't have a relationship because the ex doesn't want one when it doesn't suit him or makes his life difficult. The child is mine from a previous marriage who my ex adopted then we had two more of our own.

Yeah, my ex also let them see '13 going on 30' and they discuss sexual partners and positions in that movie. Morals, huh?

 

[stealth2]

Oh Christ - I just realized that I've seen that video! It's by Blake Shelton (country artist) and it IS called "Some Beach". Sheet - if THAT offends you, you need to lighten up one hell of a lot, darlin'! 'Cause it IS about hangin' on some beach, somewhere.

Get your boys a Sum41 Chuck video, and then we'll talk. Sheesh.

 

[stealth2]

Here it is:

The parties agree that the holiday schedule will coincide with Husband’s holiday schedule with his daughter from a prior marriage, so that all the children can be together for the holidays, as follows:…

Kid’s Birthday – Even Years to Mother & Odd Years to Father

From 3:00 PM to 8:00 PM

• If the birthdays fall on a Friday or a Saturday, the visit shall be extended to the following day at 9:00 AM.

Since birthdays are listed under holidays, shouldn't the kids that go to the ex's house get to come home and spend it with their sibling?

Okay.... so are you asking whether, in the years that Dad has the boy for his bday he should have the other kids, too? Or do you want them to come to YOUR house to be with the boy?

 

[cmptrtechswife]

Yes, you are right that the schedule is to coincide with the other child from a previous marriage. However, here is a thought: what if our oldest child was still visiting over at the ex's but on his birthday (since it is my year to have the kids) the ex come to drop him off...can you see him not letting the other two come also since it is a family thing?

 

[juke]

And is the boy subject to this court order? Is he supposed to be at Dad's, too...but he's not, so you want the others to come to your house to spend his birthday at your house?

The kid's birthday fell on Dad's weekend, so everyone is to go to your house for the kid's birthday in this even year. Right?

But you and this kid don't comply with the court order and visit Dad, so he's not at Dad's house. Right?

 

[stealth2]

The other kids and their mother are not a party to your order whatsoever. He is not required to bring them to your home to spend your son's bday with him. The idea behind it, as best I can tell, is that your ex's schedule to see the boy is to coincide as much as possible to when he sees his other kids so that they can spend time together with their Dad. Not you.