SMURFEELAW
Member
I don't know him but anyone who does not take oppurtunities to spend time with their child has questionable morals at best BUT maybe you could plan the party for another time so the younger kids don't have to miss it.
-
FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.
Dealings with an ex
- Thread starter cmptrtechswife
- Start date
Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills Please click a topic or scroll down for more.
cmptrtechswife
Junior Member
First of all I am sorry for all the confusion. This is a complicated matter because there are a lot of factors involved.
My ex has a daugther from a previous marriage and our court order is the same as her so that all the kids can be together.
My oldest son is mine from a previous relationship that my ex adopted. He is a part of the court order along with the other two kids that I share with me ex. He doesn't go visit, my ex likes it that way and he chooses not to make him visit but will the others because they are 'his'.
So, this weekend is my ex's weekend and also the oldest birthday. Our order is not specific to the other two but was intended to imply that all the kids be together - the ex, his daugther and the kids on his year and like wise on my year.
Since it is my year to have them on the birthdays - should the other two kids be allowed to come home from the weekend with the ex to share in it with their brother?
My middle child is threatening to run away from the ex's house if he is not allowed to come home.
My ex has a daugther from a previous marriage and our court order is the same as her so that all the kids can be together.
My oldest son is mine from a previous relationship that my ex adopted. He is a part of the court order along with the other two kids that I share with me ex. He doesn't go visit, my ex likes it that way and he chooses not to make him visit but will the others because they are 'his'.
So, this weekend is my ex's weekend and also the oldest birthday. Our order is not specific to the other two but was intended to imply that all the kids be together - the ex, his daugther and the kids on his year and like wise on my year.
Since it is my year to have them on the birthdays - should the other two kids be allowed to come home from the weekend with the ex to share in it with their brother?
My middle child is threatening to run away from the ex's house if he is not allowed to come home.
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
I don't think so. The child is to be with you this year on his bday.(*) Have you asked Dad about switching his w/e?
And your oldest son - since he was adopted - is ALSO his son. You might want to quit making the distinction.
(*)(edit) The order doesn't specify that ALL the children spend that birthday with the birthday kid.
And your oldest son - since he was adopted - is ALSO his son. You might want to quit making the distinction.
(*)(edit) The order doesn't specify that ALL the children spend that birthday with the birthday kid.
Last edited:
cmptrtechswife
Junior Member
Again, I am sorry this has become so confusing. I am lost in this as well.
This is a lot of factors involved here as well.
My ex has a daugther from a previous marriage and our court order is modeled after hers so ALL the kids can be together on the holidays. She is almost an adult so she won't even be there - not that it matters, but I hope that info helps you to understand.
My oldest son is mine from a previous relationship that my ex adopted during our marriage. Neither of them want to see each other and my ex doesn't enforce the visitation on him either.
I share two younger children with my ex that do visit their father.
Like I said, it is his weekend for visitation and although our order is not specific to the other two, I do get the oldest for his birthday. The others are asking to come home to spend time with their brother. My middle son says that he will run away from the ex house if he is not allowed to come home. I am just concerned. Why would it be one way for that household and another for ours, just because it is not specific...
This is a lot of factors involved here as well.
My ex has a daugther from a previous marriage and our court order is modeled after hers so ALL the kids can be together on the holidays. She is almost an adult so she won't even be there - not that it matters, but I hope that info helps you to understand.
My oldest son is mine from a previous relationship that my ex adopted during our marriage. Neither of them want to see each other and my ex doesn't enforce the visitation on him either.
I share two younger children with my ex that do visit their father.
Like I said, it is his weekend for visitation and although our order is not specific to the other two, I do get the oldest for his birthday. The others are asking to come home to spend time with their brother. My middle son says that he will run away from the ex house if he is not allowed to come home. I am just concerned. Why would it be one way for that household and another for ours, just because it is not specific...
cmptrtechswife
Junior Member
Yes, I did approach him with a possible solution but he is adament that he doesn't care because according to him it doesn't affect the younger two because it is their brother's birthday.
I can understand you thinking that you believe I am making a difference in biological and not. However, that is not my choice. This is something that my ex has made VERY clear. My older son has not been over there in over a year and there has been no contact between them. My ex has even agreed to let my husband now adopt him so he is not responsible for them.
The oldest doesn't want to go over there and be ignored and has always noticed that he gets treated different because he is not the ex's 'own' child.
I can understand you thinking that you believe I am making a difference in biological and not. However, that is not my choice. This is something that my ex has made VERY clear. My older son has not been over there in over a year and there has been no contact between them. My ex has even agreed to let my husband now adopt him so he is not responsible for them.
The oldest doesn't want to go over there and be ignored and has always noticed that he gets treated different because he is not the ex's 'own' child.
cmptrtechswife
Junior Member
I realize that this is an error and over sight in my court order and I am trying to fix that as well.
If it was an option of changing the party to another time, I would but my husbands children with be here also. I was looking out for all of the children's best interests, not mine or the ex's.
If it was an option of changing the party to another time, I would but my husbands children with be here also. I was looking out for all of the children's best interests, not mine or the ex's.
If he adopted him then technically he is "his" child. The fact that he doesn't want to see it that way is why he is a jerk. You can't make the jerk do anything he doesn't want to do and more than likely the more you press the issue the more the he's going to do the exact opposite. That's what makes him the jerk that he is. Like someone else said, plan a birthday party on the next week-end when you have all your kids and make the jerk feel like it's no big deal
cmptrtechswife
Junior Member
I can understand what you are saying and I don't want it to go that far. I just wanted some opinions and others point of view of reading what the order says.
I have done my best in trying to appeal to his common sense side but apparently he doesn't have any. I can't imagine that allowing my kids to not spend time with a family member just because it is not what I would want.
My concern was for my children because they are already confused enough in this all because my ex forces them to visit but not the older child who is also in the order and a part of their lives even if the ex chooses from him not to be a part of his.
I have done my best in trying to appeal to his common sense side but apparently he doesn't have any. I can't imagine that allowing my kids to not spend time with a family member just because it is not what I would want.
My concern was for my children because they are already confused enough in this all because my ex forces them to visit but not the older child who is also in the order and a part of their lives even if the ex chooses from him not to be a part of his.