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difference of interpretations - your input?

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mommyof4

Senior Member
See, to me, the order is abundantly clear. We alternate the weekend schedule 3 times throughout the year, after each of his 3 vacations. So, that is how the schedule changes take place. I started there with my calendar, and alternated the weekends after those 3 vacations. Then I went back, and if his vacation time included any part of a weekend, the next weekend becomes mine, even if it was his scheduled weekend. This does not change the fact that the weekend schedule has swapped. So, on either 1 or 2 of the changes, it so happens that I have the children 2 weekends in a row.

Again, I know why the judge made this ruling. He wanted the weekends totally swapped all together, so the he always had the children on the same weekend as his new family. I did not want the swap to happen, because then I would not have the children on the same weekend as my extended family. His lawyer kept using the argument that I was telling them that my family was more important than his. The judge, to show equality on both sides, made us switch weekends throughout the year, so that the children got to spend time with the extended families on both sides, not just one. It does make the schedule much more complicated, but the reasoning was sound.

As far as your suggestion to alternate who gets that first weekend after his vacation, it won't always work out that I have the children 2 weekends in a row. For instance, after Christmas, the alternated schedule put me with the first weekend. That weekend was mine no matter what because of the judge's order, but it did not affect anything because it was my weekend under the changed weekend schedule. This time, it does affect him, he looses his weekend. Next one, after Summer, it all depends when we have our summer vacations. So, it's not like this provision will always have him missing that first weekend.

Just get a clarification from the judge. That is going to be the only way to resolve this.
 


I have to agree with Gemini on this after having it spelled out for me. Basically, what you are expecting is that you will get a "make-up" weekend to compensate for the weekend time he spent with the children and THEN starting the new EOW schedule. It can't work that way.

So, to simplify...he has visitation that includes part of a weekend. You get the next weekend regardless of who's regularly scheduled weekend it would have been. From THAT weekend, the new rotation begins....meaning he gets the next weekend.

I can't imaging the judge gave you an extra weekend after every holiday visitation to "make-up" for the weekend he got to spend with the children. Holiday visitation supercedes a regular schedule (unless you have a judge like yours) so you are not 'awarded' an extra weekend.

See now, the problem with that is that our weekend schedule will not have been changed, he would still have the children on his extended family's schedule, and they will not get to see any of my extended family. The weekends have to be adjusted, and the only way for that to happen this time is if the children are with one of us for 2 weekends in a row. In order for it to happen the way the judge ordered, this time, i have the children for 2 weekends in a row.
 

Gemini

Member
See, to me, the order is abundantly clear. We alternate the weekend schedule 3 times throughout the year, after each of his 3 vacations. So, that is how the schedule changes take place. I started there with my calendar, and alternated the weekends after those 3 vacations. Then I went back, and if his vacation time included any part of a weekend, the next weekend becomes mine, even if it was his scheduled weekend. This does not change the fact that the weekend schedule has swapped. So, on either 1 or 2 of the changes, it so happens that I have the children 2 weekends in a row.


Try using your calendar, but this time swap the part that in italics with the part in bold and see if that changes the schedule to resemble your ex's side. I am not claiming to "know" what the judge planned with this crazy order, but I can see how your ex believes that he is right, too. Maybe if you can see that it can also work his way too, then you will realize that you might not be 100% right and you guys can work together to come up with an agreeable outcome.
 
His Feb vacation was Feb. 19-25.

His week contained Sat/Sun the 24/25th making it start all new or "adjust" to you having March 2nd because of it. Then carrying on from there he would have March 9th. I, again, interpret to begin new after the visit. Meaning that whether or not days during his visit were part of the old schedule, it readjust after the end of the visit.

That's fine, if the weekend 24th/25th wasn't his regular weekend. But under our weekend schedule before vacation, that weekend was his. So the adjustment in the weekend schedule is made after that weekend (Mar 2-4). To adjust the weekends, that becomes his weekend, then my weekend is after that (Mar 9-11). However, I get the first weekend after his vacation, that trumps his weekend. Under the new schedule, the second weekend is also mine.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
No, if the weekend after holiday visitation was supposed to be his regularly scheduled weekend, but you take it instead and he takes the next weekend, the schedule is adjusted. If that weekend after holiday visitation is supposed regularly be his, but you take it AND the next weekend, then you are left with the same rotation as pre-holiday visitation.

Unless the judge specifically meant for you to get extra weekends from his ruling, I have a feeling your ex is correct on this.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
That's fine, if the weekend 24th/25th wasn't his regular weekend. But under our weekend schedule before vacation, that weekend was his. So the adjustment in the weekend schedule is made after that weekend (Mar 2-4). To adjust the weekends, that becomes his weekend, then my weekend is after that (Mar 9-11). However, I get the first weekend after his vacation, that trumps his weekend. Under the new schedule, the second weekend is also mine.

Which goes back to my other post. Essentially, you are expecting a "make-up" weekend for the time he spent with the children.
 

Gemini

Member
What is the name of your state? ME

This is the provision:
b. The weekend rotation will be adjusted at predetermined points throughout the year. These points are after the Defendant's February/April vacation, after the Defendant's Summer vacation, and after the Defendant's Christmas vacation. When the Defendant's vacation time includes a weekend* (excerpt from judge: *includes a weekend means it includes at least part of either a Saturday or Sunday), the Plaintiff will have the children the weekend following these vacations, regardless if it was the defendant's scheduled weekend, and the rotation weekend schedule will continue thereafter.

I think that the schedule adjust after the 25th which is HIS February vacation and goes from there. I don't think that it adjust after your automatic next weekend.
 
Try using your calendar, but this time swap the part that in italics with the part in bold and see if that changes the schedule to resemble your ex's side. I am not claiming to "know" what the judge planned with this crazy order, but I can see how your ex believes that he is right, too. Maybe if you can see that it can also work his way too, then you will realize that you might not be 100% right and you guys can work together to come up with an agreeable outcome.

I see what you're saying, I've said that from the beginning. If the first part of the order was not there to swap the weekends, then he would be right. I have the weekend immediately after his vacation, then he would have the next weekend, and so on and so forth.

However, we have to swap weekends. That is the part that makes it confusing. The main provision is to swap weekends, the secondary is that I have the children the first weekend no matter if it was to be his. That secondary provision is further stipulated that it only happens if his vacation time includes part of a Saturday or Sunday. So, if his vacation had been only Mon-Fri or some time in there, then we would have swapped weekends, and if that first weekend was his, then it would have been his, not mine.
 

Gemini

Member
I don't believe that those are two different provisions though. I believe that they are all one, with the judge just clarifying in case of a weekend.
 
I think that the schedule adjust after the 25th which is HIS February vacation and goes from there. I don't think that it adjust after your automatic next weekend.

That's correct - after his vacation the weekends swap. Which means, as the weekend of mar. 2-4 would have been my weekend under the old rotation, that becomes his weekend, and teh next weekend (Mar 9-11) is my weekend, and we continue the swapped rotation from there (until we split the summer). Since is vacation time (Feb. 19-25) included a weekend, then the first weekend after the vacation (Mar. 2-4) defaults to me, even though it was to be his regularly scheduled weekend. We still have to continue the swapped rotation after that.

Had the first weekend after the vacation been my weekend under the new swap, then he wouldn't have lost the weekend. But, to continue it like that, there is no swap in the weekends.
 
I don't believe that those are two different provisions though. I believe that they are all one, with the judge just clarifying in case of a weekend.

Well, either way you read it, the weekends have to swap after the vacation, so that the children are no longer on the same schedule as his family, they are now on the schedule of my family.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
oh, I know that...the issue is that he doesn't want to loose the weekend. It would be fine if he ended up with 2 weekends in a row, but that's not how the order is written. I willnot go against the order, however it is written is how I plan on doing the swap. I tried to reason with him about how this happens, it's basically the same as Memorial and Labor Day weekends, one of us may have the kids 3 weekends in a row because of the holiday weekend. He knows that. I tried to tell him that this is the same thing, but no, he won't listen to me.

His lawyer has him convinced (or he convinced his lawyer, not sure which - they're two peas in a pod) that a swap does not have to take place in order for an adjustment to take place. They're saying that the adjustment is me having the kids the weekend after his vacation, then him having the next weekend. Doing this, I tried to tell them both, does not change the weekend schedule, adn that was the order, that the weekend schedule change. It's like I'm trying to reason with a bag of rocks. They just won't listen to logic.

Well...logically they aren't entirely wrong. In the general scheme of things a swap might not have to take place in order for there to be an adjustment. An adjustment might happen naturally due to holidays.

However, if your having the weekend of the 9th without another swap just continues the same schedule that was in place before, then no adjustment would happen, and their logic is faulty.
 

Gemini

Member
I've already sat here to long. I could spend the day arguing my point and reading your side as well, however I have things I have to do. :) My little girl wants to go shopping!;)

Reading what you wrote about the provision. If this was my order, my ex husband would be getting the kids and I would not be taking the extra weekend. I wouldn't be doing this out of the kindness of my heart, because we don't get along real well. I would be doing this because it is how I interpret the order.

I understand that you all want to have time with the extended family. I am in the same situation. Could you perhaps change the other siblings/nephews schedule...it might just be the easiest way around this. :o

Good luck however you decide to deal with this. I know it isn't easy...have a great day!:)
 
Last edited:
No, if the weekend after holiday visitation was supposed to be his regularly scheduled weekend, but you take it instead and he takes the next weekend, the schedule is adjusted. If that weekend after holiday visitation is supposed regularly be his, but you take it AND the next weekend, then you are left with the same rotation as pre-holiday visitation.

Unless the judge specifically meant for you to get extra weekends from his ruling, I have a feeling your ex is correct on this.

Let me see if this works... Here is the calendar, that shows the weekends he had before vacation, and the change after vacation. He had Feb 9-11, his regular weekend, I have 16-18, my regular weekend. He has 19-23 + 23-25 as his vacation + weekend, which would be his regular weekend. AFTER vacation, we have to swap weekends, which puts his next weekend as Mar. 2-4, and my next weekend as Mar 9-11. According to the provision, since his vacation time included part of a Sat/Sun, I have the children the next weekend, even though it was to be his regular scheduled weekend. Our schedule continues with the rotation after that, such that we are on the new rotation. If I get the 2-4, and he gets the 9-11, and I get 16-18, then no swap happened, the schedule would be just the same as it ws before vacation.


February
S M T W T F S
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9X 10X
11X 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23X 24X
25X 26 27 28
March
S M T W T F S
1 2X 3X
4X 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16X 17X
18X 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31

the calendar looks better in the edit block, but I think you can get the point of it, the X's point to the weekends that are his.
 
I've already sat here to long. I could spend the day arguing my point and reading your side as well, however I have things I have to do. :) My little girl wants to go shopping!;)

Reading what you wrote about the provision. If this was my order, my ex husband would be getting the kids and I would not be taking the extra weekend. I wouldn't be doing this out of the kindness of my heart, because we don't get along real well. I would be doing this because it is how I interpret the order.

I understand that you all want to have time with the extended family. I am in the same situation. Could you perhaps change the other siblings/nephews schedule...it might just be the easiest way around this. :o

Good luck however you decide to deal with this. I know it isn't easy...have a great day!:)


Yes, he said he tried to get his step's schedule chagned, which I don't believe. My sister tried to change her schedule, but her ex won't change, they're actually still in court over things.
 
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