Dividing Debts?

[Theresalee]

What is the name of your state?CA
I have no income as of yet, I was hurt at work and lost my job. It has taken 4 years to hear this work comp case and we were told we start at square one with another Insurance company employed by my employer... O.K when my husband and I part after being married for 20 years and he has souly supported me while I raised 5 kids, then when they went into school I worked, then got hurt and He supported me again. We are trying to work out who gets what but he claims I will owe half the debts? If he makes more then I do when all is said and done, meaning he will owe child support (for one more yr child is 17) then IF he owes spousal of a certain amount, how can I afford to pay back the debts when he will make most of the money$ I guess in other words does the judge take in consideration the income and if husband makes more? will he then have to pay off more debt if it's both in our name? Some are.
He is always throwing in my face I will owe half the debt, trying to keep me scared and it is working!!! I can't afford it so I will have to claim bankruptcy if I can.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?CA
I have no income as of yet, I was hurt at work and lost my job. It has taken 4 years to hear this work comp case and we were told we start at square one with another Insurance company employed by my employer... O.K when my husband and I part after being married for 20 years and he has souly supported me while I raised 5 kids, then when they went into school I worked, then got hurt and He supported me again. We are trying to work out who gets what but he claims I will owe half the debts? If he makes more then I do when all is said and done, meaning he will owe child support (for one more yr child is 17) then IF he owes spousal of a certain amount, how can I afford to pay back the debts when he will make most of the money$ I guess in other words does the judge take in consideration the income and if husband makes more? will he then have to pay off more debt if it's both in our name? Some are.
He is always throwing in my face I will owe half the debt, trying to keep me scared and it is working!!! I can't afford it so I will have to claim bankruptcy if I can.

Its not just the debts of the marriage that are divided, its the assets of the marriage too. Also, after a twenty year marriage...and being disabled...its also likely that you will be entitled to alimony as well.

I hope you get yourself an attorney. I think you need one.

 

[Theresalee]

Oh I will,definetly, we are at the process of trying to talk things over, but he feels he knows it all and it doesn't sound right. this isn't the first time as rmet saved my butt big time with a nunc pro tunc already.. I figured alimony nd child support would be due to me but... How can I afford these debts with the amount I will get? As I told someone erlier he tried to get me to give up all his retirement if he pays all the debts? He also has 200 hours of sick leave and holidy pay which I don't know if it's each or together, but he plans on cashing them in for $, think I will keep my mouth shut until he does it?
Thanks for all the help!!

 

[LdiJ]

Oh I will,definetly, we are at the process of trying to talk things over, but he feels he knows it all and it doesn't sound right. this isn't the first time as rmet saved my butt big time with a nunc pro tunc already.. I figured alimony nd child support would be due to me but... How can I afford these debts with the amount I will get? As I told someone erlier he tried to get me to give up all his retirement if he pays all the debts? He also has 200 hours of sick leave and holidy pay which I don't know if it's each or together, but he plans on cashing them in for $, think I will keep my mouth shut until he does it?
Thanks for all the help!!

If he keeps all the debt, then it would be fair for him to recieve assets totaling those debts (not more) and then the two of you split the remaining assets equally. If I remember correctly though, his retirement fund is worth more than the total of the debt....therefore it would not be equitable for him to keep the entire retirement fund unless there are other assets you could recieve to offset that.

 

[ablessin]

And you would only be entitled to balance in retirement account to date... if he has $100,000 in it today and your divorce is final today, you don't get entitlement to next year's balance in that account.

You're going to need to find something for a job and try as hard as you can to start some sort of savings, if you can, save aside the alimony payments and live on paychecks and child support.

That he throws in your face about the money is not nice at all, he is trying to make you feel like crap - don't let him do that to you! Focus on your kids and make sure you do right by them...... and get an attorney that will fight for your rights and make sure the kids are well provided for!

 

[Theresalee]

O.K Thats the whole thing I have no income, I would love to work but my medical condition prevents me from it, I m trying to get S.S but since I can walk and talk they always turn you down but my attorney will help with that, If I can't get it then I will do my best to work.
Can you tell me if the below statement is true?
Wont the judge "normally" divide the debts according to your income? As in if I am awarded 200.00 to live on and him 2000.00 wont he get more debt? this would be extra after he pays child support and alimony.
LDij,
Yes this is the same one with the retirement plus he helped spend and cash in my 5 thousand i had saved for retirement b/c we needed to pay bills! We have no assets except truck that he just got a 4 thousand loan against and other material things period. We rent and I have only one child at the age of 17... I raised 5 kids..
For some reason someone told me they got less of the bills or debt b/c they had less income? it was in Virginia and this in California maybe thats the difference? Can I claim bankruptcy if I do get half the bills? or is it a case by case basis?
No way can I pay any other bills but rent and food and elec. as it's so high in this area, after court I could try to move if I'm allowed by the courts but I have feeling he will put a stop to that.... Only for a year until she is 18 though.... Thanks for all your time....

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You need to do as I said, the majority of these debts were incurred by him while you were not tecnically married as a result of his intentional fraud, not yours, thus he is responsible. That is why you need to find out exactly which of these debts are joint and which have you as authorized user. Then you will only be looking at the ones that were joint from the time of the singed Nunc Pro Tunc. You can do a lot with the creditors, but wou will need an attorney a very good attorney. He will also be looking at income tax fraud for the years that you filed as married when he knew you were not but informed you otherwise, you can claim innocent spouse. He is going to continue to try to control you and you must stand firm, you really hold the cards. Ask for child support and college expences for your daughter, for him to pay your attorney's fees and spousal support. You are still entitled to 1/2 his retirement. Don't forget his anticipated promotion can be taken in account if he declines it to avoid payment. He is not entitled to your workers comp settlement.

 

[Theresalee]

Your kidding!!!!!

Hi Rmet!!!

Glad to hear from you... I can get his supposed increase in pay? They have been working on a raise with their union for years and it could happen, we are talking thousands here!!! At least about 2 thousand?
I am listed on most credit cards, maybe not some loans but it wont be much? It was during the time I thought we were legally married, I did all the shopping for the family so of course I will be the one using them... Even though he did for his big items as well.. Will bankruptcy be an option if I ask and have to tke on some debt? Or is it a case by case basis.
Can you explain a little about the future raise thing you mentioned? He would flip out!!!! For once in over 20 years I am getting info he does not have!!!! or does and now I do too LOL......
We have been going to counseling which isn't working!! Now I don't want to act to soon and get thrown out or wait to long and have him pull something?
You bet my 17 year old wants to go to college just like Dd paid for our son to go into the same business has him, he even told my daughter she CAN'T live with me b/c he can't afford it? She cathes him staring at other women and has seen some x-rated pics, poor girl, something no kids wnts to see from their parent.. Ok sorry getting off track Thanks Your the best!!! Hey can I hire you and make him pay for it? heee heee

 

[LdiJ]

Hi Rmet!!!

Glad to hear from you... I can get his supposed increase in pay? They have been working on a raise with their union for years and it could happen, we are talking thousands here!!! At least about 2 thousand?
I am listed on most credit cards, maybe not some loans but it wont be much? It was during the time I thought we were legally married, I did all the shopping for the family so of course I will be the one using them... Even though he did for his big items as well.. Will bankruptcy be an option if I ask and have to tke on some debt? Or is it a case by case basis.
Can you explain a little about the future raise thing you mentioned? He would flip out!!!! For once in over 20 years I am getting info he does not have!!!! or does and now I do too LOL......
We have been going to counseling which isn't working!! Now I don't want to act to soon and get thrown out or wait to long and have him pull something?
You bet my 17 year old wants to go to college just like Dd paid for our son to go into the same business has him, he even told my daughter she CAN'T live with me b/c he can't afford it? She cathes him staring at other women and has seen some x-rated pics, poor girl, something no kids wnts to see from their parent.. Ok sorry getting off track Thanks Your the best!!! Hey can I hire you and make him pay for it? heee heee

I know I have mentioned this before but I honestly have some problems with the strategy of attempting to claim "not legally married" for some purposes and "legally married" for others.

I honestly think that a judge would have a real problem with you trying to avoid debts by claiming that you weren't legally married...yet trying to claim assets and alimony by stating that you were. So PLEASE discuss all of that with an attorney before proceeding.

As far as bankruptcy is concerned...that is one area where people can SERIOUSLY screw each other over in a divorce.

Your husband can agree to assume all the debt in exchange for most of his retirement fund. Retirement funds are protected from bankruptcy. Then he could turn around and file bankruptcy...which would send all the creditors after you for the joint debt (which would mean that you would have to file bankruptcy too) and he could walk away with the retirement funds. You could re-open your property settlement to get that changed...but it could be complicated. If he is smart enough to include YOU as a creditor in his bankruptcy (not for the debt but for the property settlement) then he might even get away with it.

You also can do the same. You can insist on dividing the assets and debts in half...and then turn around and file bankruptcy and send everybody after him....with the same basic results.

There is no real way to protect yourself against that in a situation where the only real assets are retirement funds and there is high debt.

Which is another reason why you REALLY MUST rely on an attorney. Your case is complicated.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Yes, she does need an attorney. CA EC 623 allows for estoppel. CA is a comminity property state, the debt was aquired mostly in his name while they were not married, he knew they were not legally married and lead her to believe she was legally married. When she discovered she was not legally married through a clerical error, she took care of correcitng that through the nunc pro tunc. They don't own a home. She was benificiary on his retirement all along and since the pro nunc tunc is entitled for the whole time and also for spousal support. It is very important that she determine the exact nature of the marital debt. He also spent her retirement on his debts, so he owes her there too. But she needs an attorney, one that won't get pushed around.

 

[Theresalee]

O.k I need a good attorney.... How do I know when one is good and can't be pushed around? There was about 5 or 10 thousand difference in retirement per debt meaning retirement had more! then there is the 5 thousand he spent on debts from my retirement as well.. I guess I will have nothing to live on in my retirement age if I do this unless he ends up paying me for a very long time in spousal? except S.S... What I need is to work!!!! But work comp can be very long sometimes!! I will bring this up and see if i can ask around for a real good attorney that will take me as a client with NO money LOL, in hopes my soon to be ex will have to pay!!! Thanks for the help again !!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

O.k I need a good attorney.... How do I know when one is good and can't be pushed around? There was about 5 or 10 thousand difference in retirement per debt meaning retirement had more! then there is the 5 thousand he spent on debts from my retirement as well.. I guess I will have nothing to live on in my retirement age if I do this unless he ends up paying me for a very long time in spousal? except S.S... What I need is to work!!!! But work comp can be very long sometimes!! I will bring this up and see if i can ask around for a real good attorney that will take me as a client with NO money LOL, in hopes my soon to be ex will have to pay!!! Thanks for the help again !!!!

Like I said, check with ex spouses of your husband's FF brothes/sisters for referals to good attorneys. You want one that strikes terror when their name is mentioned, someone with a record for obtaining spousal support for their clients.

 

[Theresalee]

I will have to do some home work for sure!! My last one was a Dork!!! Did paper work and thats it, We even won custody in that one but that wasn't b/c of him.. The other parent had criminl record and he never brought it up well I won't get into that, but you get what I mean I think>?.... So I will check around Thanks You sure your not an attorney here in California??? LOL