divorce? annulment?spousal support?

[babegirl]

Well welcome to a small portion of parenthood. It's a choice the rest of us make everyday. Do I stay at home and coddle my family's emotional needs, or do I go to work and feed my family's hungry belly? For most of us, we do what we can. You can't do it all. You make choices, you live with them. I think a lot of people's 'emotional needs' would go away if people stopped pointing it out to them.

I agree! And my husband is not able to take the time to "deal" w/ ALL the family issues,so...that is my domain...He IS feeding our bellies(i AM aware) and helping where he can.But, once you HAVE to involve the courts into your life,you find out QUICK,that SOMEONE is EXPECTED to (your qoute.."Coddle the family".) and its NO LONGER A choice...I have appointments EVERYDAY for my step-daughter...psychiatrists,academic councelers,tutors,the Vice principal,emails from the teachers...(the judge IS watching!)you just dont realize what i am truly dealing with! Not to mention the sibling rivalry/jealousy between both children!(By the way, i have allready raised a 2 VERY troubled kids in my past(a girl and a boy) who are now adults..I am NOT new to parenting.I never intended to "have " to PROVE my WORTH on this website(though i do understand that I am a stranger,whose morality and integrity IS unknown.) I only wanted advice for the situatiuon I am in.....

 

[djohnson]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you started this post by saying you have only been married a few months, dated and been together for years, gave up your job and life to move to where he is, he is a drunk and abusive and now wants it over and you want spousal support and whatever you can get? Now you say he is taking care of you and you have a good relationship and he will continue to do this? If not and it's over, then let him take responsibility for his own kids. I know you get attached, but if your gone, your not a part of it anymore and you have yourself to consider. It may be your train of thought that already has you two troubled kids. Now you want someone else's that abuses you and wants you gone. You need the therapy in my opinion. You aren't going to get anything from him that he doesn't give you out of the goodness of his heart. It doesn't matter your age, you need to grow up and get a grip on life.

 

[babegirl]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you started this post by saying you have only been married a few months, dated and been together for years, gave up your job and life to move to where he is, he is a drunk and abusive and now wants it over and you want spousal support and whatever you can get? Now you say he is taking care of you and you have a good relationship and he will continue to do this? If not and it's over, then let him take responsibility for his own kids. I know you get attached, but if your gone, your not a part of it anymore and you have yourself to consider. It may be your train of thought that already has you two troubled kids. Now you want someone else's that abuses you and wants you gone. You need the therapy in my opinion. You aren't going to get anything from him that he doesn't give you out of the goodness of his heart. It doesn't matter your age, you need to grow up and get a grip on life.

and i now realize that there are a LOT more hostile people in this world than i could've imagined!I apreciate the legal advice i've gotten here,but the "opinions"...were NOT exactly what i was lokking for(you have NOT walked a mile in my shoes..).but thanks for your time ,concern,and psychotherapy...Though i feel you are selfish to an extreem,not I...i have always done what i thought was "spiritualy correct"...THAT is why i raised my own sisters kids,and after 8 years of being their Mom,gave them BACK to her(once she straightened out her life).Does THAT mean I NEED therapy?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

and i now realize that there are a LOT more hostile people in this world than i could've imagined!I apreciate the legal advice i've gotten here,but the "opinions"...were NOT exactly what i was lokking for(you have NOT walked a mile in my shoes..).but thanks for your time ,concern,and psychotherapy...Though i feel you are selfish to an extreem,not I...i have always done what i thought was "spiritualy correct"...THAT is why i raised my own sisters kids,and after 8 years of being their Mom,gave them BACK to her(once she straightened out her life).Does THAT mean I NEED therapy?

Now THAT is a hoot. You are married to someone for FOUR MONTHS, and now want a lifetime of support for laying on your back?

What is "spiritualy correct"...about that?

You have been told over and over again that you have no claim to anything except what you came into the marriage with and PERHAPS a share of the equity (four months worth) of the marital property if there is any.

Which is the LEGAL answer. Now, go find another victim.

 

[babegirl]

Now THAT is a hoot. You are married to someone for FOUR MONTHS, and now want a lifetime of support for laying on your back?

What is "spiritualy correct"...about that?

You have been told over and over again that you have no claim to anything except what you came into the marriage with and PERHAPS a share of the equity (four months worth) of the marital property if there is any.

Which is the LEGAL answer. Now, go find another victim.

No,actually i am marrieid to someone for LESS than 2 months(when HE threatens divorce),and BELIEVE me i dont GET to lay on my back.I JUST work.Nor,was i asking for "long term" spousal support,only help in the 1st or 2nd month getting BACK on my feet.(No friends or family HERE!Nor "insider tips" on good jobs,homes,etc....)The only property owned is mine allready,which is WHY i was asking for legal advice!I am quite able to make it on my own AFTER i get a month or 2 ON MY OWN..it was the initial period i needed support w/.Doesnt seem fair that i went into this marriage out of love FOR ALL involved,and he can "yank " it all away so easily(and leave me homeless to boot!).I am NOT asking for him to make my life "cushy"for the rest of my life....i am desperately seeking advice on HOW to get started again...and VERY sad for how this will emotionally affect 2 children.I believe the hubby may be bi-polar(?).
When i speak of getting a job(which is coming up OFTEN,we both realize what a negative impact it will have on the home,if we srayed together(he is a self employed contracter-sole propieter of a very small business)He CANT be there for ALL the meetings that are currently REQUIRED for his child...and still get money in the bank.....So i do it(on top of ALL home responsabilities.) I am worn out!(as i recognize he is also...which is why it SHOCKED me that he would mention divorce!
Back to the subject at hand,what do i need to know about annulment?(though I am still willing to work on the marriage..but,in case he drops the bomb again.)...I cant predict what he will say or do next....he owns a mobile home and is moving his son into it(I think he is only buying time..)as his son works w/ him..and doesnt even have his own checking acct..same income..no paycheck.(which just means we are now paying for 2 homes.)..and most of my belongings are moving into that home(the duplicate microwave,toaster,furniture,etc....)I took a chance/risk here..and i see EVERYTHING i worked so hard all my life for vanishing!(he is mad i have a retirement acct in mutual funds and NOT cashing it out!)I REALLY need legal advice here,please,no more pre-judging ....ya REALLY dont know me!
signed Not looking for a victim,NOR willing to become one!

 

[AHA]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is like watching a dog chase it's own tail......MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing in this life is free and OWED to you. Take responsibility, get a job TODAY and move the heck on. No one is going to come knocking on your door and hand you your life back, YOU HAVE TO GET IT BACK ON YOUR OWN ACCORD! The fact that you made sacrifices to move in with this man was YOUR choice, now it has to be YOUR responsibility to get back on your feet.

 

[babegirl]

Have Finally secured employment(I REALLY didnt want to go back to Moms...too old for that).Plus,the people renting my home have been discussing buying it(say they REALLY want it!)..would help me out a LOT if they did!Just have to wait and see!I guess that all i really need to know at this point,is the same question i had allready asked.How do i go about annulment?

 

[cyana24]

Nothing in your posts indicates your marriage would qualify for an annulment, unless you're talking about a religious annulment which has its own set of rules.

Things seem to be looking up for you financially - that's good. Now it's time to file for a divorce.

 

[babegirl]

Nothing in your posts indicates your marriage would qualify for an annulment, unless you're talking about a religious annulment which has its own set of rules.

Things seem to be looking up for you financially - that's good. Now it's time to file for a divorce.

Thank you! I am Catholic.Will enquire there.