divorce drug out

[wolfthing2000]

Oregon

filed for divorce last January of this year after having my wife removed from the house by restraining order after she repeatedly threatened my life and attacked me physicaly and verbaly for years.
I have been paying an attorney very good money in an honest and honorable attempt to settle. He has made every attempt to get them to settle. A long story short, her attorney has gone sideways and muttled everything up along the way to postpone and delay and add expense.
Now my attorney wants me to catch up on the bill, about 5,000, by the end of this month. I probably can't do that.
Now what? I am almost afraid to ask him.

Can I represent myself?

It is very obvious that her attorney is stalling****************************there have been moves of the case in and out of court and arbitration for no good reasons and they are expensive trials. Each time I lose the trial or arbitration dates that were set by him moving the case around.

I am sick

 

[wolfthing2000]

more info

i entered divorce and we propsed an equitable division of property, 2 propertys on mortgages. we would sell and divide. she is disabled and on ssi and spousal support would wreck her ssi. they asked for medical coverage via cobra instead of support. i agreed.
her attorney called for a hearing in july for spousal support and that was kicked out because she said on the stand she would wreck her ssi if she got support.
The judge verbaly ordered the case back to arbiration. her attorney did not do whatever to put it back tto arbitration.
my attorney was notified by court about two weeks ago that we had a trial this coming Jan. He was surprised and come to find out that we lost our original arbitration for Nov.
they then called for another hearing for support on Nov. 3.
that is where I am at.
she takes home 1800 per month
I take home 2200 per month

she wants 1500 support in her dposition to court for the hearing
she wants me to pay 1100 per month for the mortgage she was paying

that is the hearing.
the trial in Jan is divorce trial and I prey to God it is the end of it.

 

[wolfthing2000]

anyone think I should do anything different******************************************......I have a verbal okay to borrow 5,000 against my 401k to pay up my attorney. There are loads more of expenses ahead is my concern.
Because of her medical condition, I believe she is dragging this out in favor of continuing medical coverage. The Cobra is only good for 3 years.

 

[Humusluvr]

Keep your attorney. Settle this as soon as possible.

 

[mistoffolees]

Keep your attorney. Settle this as soon as possible.

Agreed. Dropping the attorney at this stage would probably be a mistake.

Since stbx won't agree to anything, ask your attorney to do whatever he needs to do to make sure your January hearing is final so you can let the judge decide things. It's a bit of a risk, but at least it will be over. If what you're offering is fair, then it probably won't change much.

Your attorney could file contempt if they were supposed to go to arbitration and didn't. However, I suspect that this would just drag it out further.

 

[wolfthing2000]

My attorny has written me a letter I recieved today and feels that going to trial in Jan. should end this by early Feb. . He feels they are trying to stall and create problems. He feels that getting it out of arbitration and back into court and a trial in Jan. is in our favor since they probably would just apeal the arbitration and we would end up going to court but at a later date.
I had requested bifurcation, but he feels it is complicated and expensive. My hopes are what he suggests****************************......go to trial and let the judge end this mess.

If I am missing anything here please jump in and let me know. I am broke, she knows it, and I am also an emotional wreck.
She has also orchestrated quite the vendeta process with some of her "friends" and it has went as far as bringing up trouble againbst me in the workplace by a husband of one of the "friends". Thankfuly I put a stop to it with the assistance of the Human Resources department at my job.
I don't understand why some people like to jump on the wagon and pick up the fight for people when they have no idea what the real story is. I have not said one bad word against her, caused her one problem, I don't even know of any of my friends who have made any negative comments about her.
She has dropped off her dog without notice, turned off the phone, tried to get a disabled car towed here that she had to dispose of,

It has gone so far as I have pet chickens, they all have names and i have raised them from the eggs, one of my favorite hens was stolen!!
\
The pilot light on the hot water heater keeps mysteriously going out.

The well has a second problem now after i had the first problem fixed.


I want divorced, properetys sold, assets divided, let the judge tell me what to pay her or not and i will move forward in life.

PLEASE!

 

[Ohiogal]

anyone think I should do anything different******************************************......I have a verbal okay to borrow 5,000 against my 401k to pay up my attorney. There are loads more of expenses ahead is my concern.
Because of her medical condition, I believe she is dragging this out in favor of continuing medical coverage. The Cobra is only good for 3 years.

A verbal okay from who? Because you will need your spouse to sign off on any 401k loans. And you need to check to see if there is a restraining order prohibiting that.

 

[wolfthing2000]

the adminisrator checked to see that there was no hold on the funds. I am allowed 5,000 and no more without her consent. I have been told that by the plan administrater and the head of HR at work.