Do I have a chance? I'd like to move.

[delmar411]

Exactly my thoughts. I don't think the reasons OP has listed here are good enough to win in court. Especially if father is good father. He may send her to grandma's sometimes. I don't see harm in that if he has to work. he has to make a living also and I am sure grandma wants to see her too. I honestly think your reasons comes seeming a little selfish with absolutely no guarantees. Just what you think is best, with no proof. If you are already broke can you afford a legal battle?

If you do and it's allowed do you realize what it will do to your daughter when she is older?

I am very confused on how it is so selfish of me to want to give my daughter and my other children a good life. I have parents who are divorced, I know many people with divorced parents and that fact is, most children end up 'choosing' one parent over the other. Living x amount of miles away from her father doesn't give any guarantees that she will be close with him as she gets older. Once kids get to their teens, their own lives start to take precendence. Is she going to miss games/activities/nights out every other weekend to just go sit at dad's house...no. She is going to want to live her life....that's what happens, they grow up. My mother forced me to go visit my dad instead of living my life and I ended up rebelling against them both. I would 'disappear' when it was time for my dad to pick me up. I would go sleep over at a friends house just so I didn't have to go. My father finally gave up trying. You can't force the issue when they are older. I don't see how his rights supercede all others. I am fine with visitation. I've never withheld visitation, I actually had to force him to take his visitation at one point. He went to court to reduce the amount of scheduled visits. Dropping her off at grandma's house isn't so she can spend time with her, it's so he can go out and drink or party or do whatever else he wants to do. Every time we have been in court the judge (a different one each time) has stated that they won't give him custody because it is clear he wouldn't be the one taking care of her. Of course he has to work but when he asks for extra time during a school break and takes no time with her, that makes no sense. As for the financial part, I cannot take a P/T job because of the weird hours that my husband works. He never knows wk to wk what days he will have off so I would be unable to guarantee an employer specific days. I also have an infant who is BF and won't take bottles. My husband and I have been down this road about every other week. It is just doesn't work out for hours in the day...I do have to sleep at some point. I appreciate everyone's point of view. The gist seems to be that I have no chance to be granted a move. Thanks for your time and input.

 

[djohnson]

You keep changing your story, first he not only has joint visitation but you give him extra visitation, now you say you had to force him for a minimum. You said he stopped by to see her on his way to work at her grandma's, then you say it's to drink. You say you know how it is because your parents were divorced and your dad finally just gave up? Is that what you want for their relationship? If you stay close then time and years creates a bond. You are trying to take that away from them. There is no guarantees on what you will be able to make and afford in Texas. It also has costly areas. It doesn't matter if you have trees. There are more important things in life than money. The judge will judge based on that. You are wanting to give your daughters relationship with her father for what might or could be. What happens when this marriage doesn't work out? Do you try to ruin that relationship too? Do you up and move again? If you are in that much financial strains then get a job, a part time job would help. I just don't see based on what you have said you winning this.

 

[stealth2]

Once kids get to their teens, their own lives start to take precendence. Is she going to miss games/activities/nights out every other weekend to just go sit at dad's house...no. She is going to want to live her life....that's what happens, they grow up. My mother forced me to go visit my dad instead of living my life and I ended up rebelling against them both. I would 'disappear' when it was time for my dad to pick me up. I would go sleep over at a friends house just so I didn't have to go. My father finally gave up trying. You can't force the issue when they are older.

Uuuuh, that isn't how it works. If there is a court order for visitation, you MAKE the kid go - or suffer the consequences if Dad forces the issue. And that means YOU suffer the consequences - fines, jail and/or a change of custody.

A judge *might* allow the move, or not. You simply need to be aware that it's not a slam dunk.

 

[djohnson]

And then mother wonders how she comes off as being selfish.


You give up your time for extra activities and let dad have his time too. It's not fair for one parent to miss out on everything just because of when the visitation falls. Give up other times to make up for it with dad to make them both happy. It's called compromise and apparently your parents didn't try it and then your dad just gave up. It was to hard to just keep fighting. I think he was the only adult in the situation. I hope you don't follow your mothers lead.