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Do I have a right to ask for my money?

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WAstepmom

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?WA
My husband has 2 kids with his ex. He used to pay child support, then he realized after paying child support, he hardly has money to support himself. So he lived with his parents after his divorce. He talked to his ex about not paying child support while he goes to school, get some education, get a better child support and pay back all the child support he didn't pay after being done with school. I guess his ex agreed. It was two years ago.
Yeah, he graduated with honors, got an excellent job and just paid $14,000 of back child support to his ex. He also provides health insurance for his daughters (for me and our son as well). His daughters used to have state medicare before he provided them insurance, so their mother never used to pay any kind of insurance proceeds or patient's part of the bill. Now that the girls have insurance, she has to pay the patient liabiulity expense. She is not happy with thateven my husband said he'll pay half of it on top of the insurance he pays. She is still not happy, in fact, she is all pissed off.
Well, long story short, when she got billed from the hospital, she asked my husband to pay for it saying that she was so broke. My husband agreed with the condition that she will pay half of it when she gets the back child support from him. She agreed. Now that he paid (actually I paid) the bill, she totally refuses to pay for her half and whenever we ask her to bring the money whenever she meets us to get the girls, she never brings it. She acts like she doesn't even know. It's been over couple months, that we're trying to get the money, but she won't pay us. What should we do? Should we just leave it as it is or keep asking her to bring money?
We're currently in a mediation process to modify some changes in visitation. Should we bring it up during mediation? Please help!!!!!
It's not the amount of money that's concerning us. I just think she can't walk all over us thinking that it's ok. That's the whole reason I wanna get the money from her, but my husband seems to ignore it to not cause any more problems on top of the ones we already have.

Help!!!!!!!!
 


casa

Senior Member
WAstepmom said:
What is the name of your state?WA
My husband has 2 kids with his ex. He used to pay child support, then he realized after paying child support, he hardly has money to support himself. So he lived with his parents after his divorce. He talked to his ex about not paying child support while he goes to school, get some education, get a better child support and pay back all the child support he didn't pay after being done with school. I guess his ex agreed. It was two years ago.
Yeah, he graduated with honors, got an excellent job and just paid $14,000 of back child support to his ex. He also provides health insurance for his daughters (for me and our son as well). His daughters used to have state medicare before he provided them insurance, so their mother never used to pay any kind of insurance proceeds or patient's part of the bill. Now that the girls have insurance, she has to pay the patient liabiulity expense. She is not happy with thateven my husband said he'll pay half of it on top of the insurance he pays. She is still not happy, in fact, she is all pissed off.
Well, long story short, when she got billed from the hospital, she asked my husband to pay for it saying that she was so broke. My husband agreed with the condition that she will pay half of it when she gets the back child support from him. She agreed. Now that he paid (actually I paid) the bill, she totally refuses to pay for her half and whenever we ask her to bring the money whenever she meets us to get the girls, she never brings it. She acts like she doesn't even know. It's been over couple months, that we're trying to get the money, but she won't pay us. What should we do? Should we just leave it as it is or keep asking her to bring money?
We're currently in a mediation process to modify some changes in visitation. Should we bring it up during mediation? Please help!!!!!
It's not the amount of money that's concerning us. I just think she can't walk all over us thinking that it's ok. That's the whole reason I wanna get the money from her, but my husband seems to ignore it to not cause any more problems on top of the ones we already have.

Help!!!!!!!!

Problem #1 is this problem is for the mother and father to handle, not you. You have no legal standing in this situation.

Problem #2 You seem to think it's OK the mother went without child support for the duration of your husband's schooling, but it's not OK for the father to wait a few months for the mother to pay her portion of medical bills? That seems hypocritical to me. Father had his new wife pay his back child support, wonder where he'd be with that if you hadn't done it for him? That probably has a lot to do with his wariness re; fighting with mother re; money.

Problem #3 You don't state what the court order says in re; payment of medical expenses. If the court order states they are both to pay 1/2- then the father can provide copies of the order to the providers and keep receipts that he's paid his portion.

Problem #4 Father didn't get the "agreement" in writing re; her paying when she received back child support- so he'll have a hard time proving that was the agreement. In the future father should have all agreements in writing.

Problem #5 (ties in with problem #1) You are the only one upset about this or wanting to do anything about it. It's a losing battle in that case. Either father does something about it, or he doesn't.
 

WAstepmom

Junior Member
Well the court order says they have to pay half, but I'm not 100% sure.
About the child support, his ex agreed to do so when he asked from her. I didn't pay that 14K, he did. I only paid the medical bills.(Well, he saved his pay and I borrowed money from my parents to pay for our expenses).
 

casa

Senior Member
WAstepmom said:
Well the court order says they have to pay half, but I'm not 100% sure.
About the child support, his ex agreed to do so when he asked from her. I didn't pay that 14K, he did. I only paid the medical bills.(Well, he saved his pay and I borrowed money from my parents to pay for our expenses).

Her agreement, unless in writing- can't be proven. Next time he needs to get all agreements in writing.

Unless the court order specifies what to do with medical expenses, father will have to file to modify the order and ask for specific verbiage.

You didn't pay his child support, he did- But you did pay his medical bill %. And had to borrow $ from your parents to make ends meet at home...yet you are upset the mother is in the same position yet doesn't have someone else to pay her %? Just saying, that in situations like these put yourself in the other person's shoes and it will alleviate un-neccesary fighting and resentment.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
The simple answer to your Title Question is yes, you have the right to ask for your money. I'm sure your husband will be more than happy to refund you the amount you paid on his behalf.

THAT is who is responsible for THIS debt.
 

Kansas4me

Member
Come on guys, the lady agreed to wait for her child support. The guy was trying to better himself, which would better the childs life, cause cs would go up as his income went up. Just like if they were still married, he would take a pay cut, so she and the kids would take a pay cut, so that he can go to school and better the family position. At least he talked it over with her allowing her to make adjustments before he just stopped paying. And he didn't ignore his responsibility she said he paid it all back and it sounded like he did it in a lump sum, instead of $50 bucks here and there.

as for the money I would Write it off to a lesson learned.
 

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