does anyone else find this rediculous?

[lily2467]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

i just found this absolutely ridiculous and proves how unfair the family court system can be. when my husbands ex had the kids and he was paying support it was $100 and he had to have insurance on them. same old, same old, no big suprise there.
well, a lot of stuff went down this summer and we ended up getting full custody of my step-sons and her 3 year old daughter. so he went into court to file to have his order reversed and file for support on emily. we got $19 a week support for her. since her mother still had insurance on her they gave her a $37 credit for that, so she only had to pay us $19. my husband was like what that is rediculous. the mediator said well since there really is no precident and she's not your biological child, this is what we're doing. if you want to appeal it you'll have to go to trenton.
we first got all of the kids the end of august. but we didn't really know what was going on with emily at first. at first we had her for two weeks. then we went into court and had her for a month. then finally we went back into court and were granted actually custody. which mean we could file for support. but that wasn't until like late october. and of course we weren't allowed to file from when we actually got her, only from when we filed. but again, prety standard i expcected that.
the mother got emily back in january. she didn't file to have her taken off the support until march. so they go back in and they were looking over everything. the girl doing the mediation was like oh, you're not making as much money any more, you should only be paying $77 a week instead of $100. she never even asked to have anything reduced! thankfully their mother said that wasn't fair she should be paying what he was when she had them.
but, here is what really had me wanting to scream. the woman says, oh you got her back in january, so we've got to take it off from then. WHAT????!!!! why is she not being held to you only get it from when you file?

it just sukcs because my husband has been fighting to get his kids and is being treated like crap. even now they've been removed from dyfs and placed with him and they are still seem to be leaning in her favor!

 

[Proserpina]

Did you have a legal question on behalf of your husband?

Does hubby have a question?

And did you read the sticky at the top of the forum?

 

[lily2467]

yes, i guess my question would be can they do that. why was she able to adjust from a date prior to when she filed?

 

[Proserpina]

yes, i guess my question would be can they do that. why was she able to adjust from a date prior to when she filed?

When your husband asked the court this question, what did they say?

And are YOU named on the court order? ANY of the court orders?

Read the sticky. You will understand why.

 

[lily2467]

When your husband asked the court this question, what did they say?

And are YOU named on the court order? ANY of the court orders?

Read the sticky. You will understand why.

no i'm not. i read the sticky and i guess i'm not getting it. it doesn't say you can't ask about a situation. am i not allowed to ask a question for my husband? the woman said to take what he got or she was going to give him the lower support she proposed, or he could take it to trenton.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

When your husband asked the court this question, what did they say?

And are YOU named on the court order? ANY of the court orders?

Read the sticky. You will understand why.

Dog, She's been "scolded" in CC&V as well.
Meh, what can ya do? Some people never learn.

OP- Dad's income was presumably higher than Mom's. That would be the reason for the difference.
And is that $100/week or $100/month Dad paid to Mom before?
Honestly, either of those figures is low. Especially for 2 children. And CAN be seen as ridiculous.

 

[Proserpina]

no i'm not. i read the sticky and i guess i'm not getting it. it doesn't say you can't ask about a situation. am i not allowed to ask a question for my husband? the woman said to take what he got or she was going to give him the lower support she proposed, or he could take it to trenton.

Ok, I read your other thread too.

Yes, you're absolutely free to ask questions. But think of this forum as sort of..well, "prepping for court", if you will. YOU are not legally involved, and that's why that it's asked that you drop the "we" from your posts - because in a court-room this can hurt your husband a great deal.

Parents have lost primary custody because their spouse has overstepped their legal boundaries and teed off the judge; because very simply, legally this is nothing to do with you at all. I know you're frustrated but that's the stark reality - this is not your fight. You don't have custody. He does. You don't pay, or get paid, too much (or too little) child support - he may or may not.

Again, nobody is suggesting this to be mean to you - but if you and/or your husband go into court with the constant "We" this and "our" that you can very seriously damage your husband's custody.

Your husband ideally needs to speak with an attorney; the wheels can turn slowly (and very frustratingly) when there are changes in custody and if he's unsure, not understanding the situation or wishing something to change he really would be better off getting an attorney involved with his case.

ETA: lol you could also listen to Dawn

 

[lily2467]

yeah, it was $100 a week for both boys. the same he was paying her. then he got $19 a week for her daughter when he had custody of her.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

no i'm not. i read the sticky and i guess i'm not getting it. it doesn't say you can't ask about a situation. am i not allowed to ask a question for my husband? the woman said to take what he got or she was going to give him the lower support she proposed, or he could take it to trenton.

Here ya go.

3) Don't use "we" if you are referring to you and someone else and one of those two is not the parent (as in the actual mom or dad). NOPE. Not gonna do it. The child has two parents. THE STEPPARENT is a legal stranger now and forever. Deal with it. If you are just the bedwarmer, girlfriend/boyfriend, significant other, sex toy, yep you are legal stranger. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and any other family relation are legal strangers

and let's not forget:

8) DO NOT decide that getting snarky with senior members or more senior than you members is the way to go. IF you are here any length of time you will earn our respect (hopefully) and you will find that we senior members know our stuff. We disagree at times but we don't get rude, arrogant and name calling. If you however as a new member decide to get rude with us, all bets are off.

 

[Antigone*]

I positively, absoldanglutely find multi-threading rediculous (sic)

 

[lily2467]

Ok, I read your other thread too.

Yes, you're absolutely free to ask questions. But think of this forum as sort of..well, "prepping for court", if you will. YOU are not legally involved, and that's why that it's asked that you drop the "we" from your posts - because in a court-room this can hurt your husband a great deal.

Parents have lost primary custody because their spouse has overstepped their legal boundaries and teed off the judge; because very simply, legally this is nothing to do with you at all. I know you're frustrated but that's the stark reality - this is not your fight. You don't have custody. He does. You don't pay, or get paid, too much (or too little) child support - he may or may not.

Again, nobody is suggesting this to be mean to you - but if you and/or your husband go into court with the constant "We" this and "our" that you can very seriously damage your husband's custody.

Your husband ideally needs to speak with an attorney; the wheels can turn slowly (and very frustratingly) when there are changes in custody and if he's unsure, not understanding the situation or wishing something to change he really would be better off getting an attorney involved with his case.

ETA: lol you could also listen to Dawn

i can understand that. and no he does not say we this or we that in court. he says he. and i am acutally usually not even there. the only time would be if they asked he would say some thing like my wife and i both have steady jobs. i was just kind of taken aback at the tone. i wasn't trying to be insulting, i was just kind of taken aback from the response of my original post. i understand legally i have no standing. it sucks, but i understand.
i know he needs to talk to a lawyer, but they are so expensive, we can't afford it.

 

[stealth2]

no i'm not. i read the sticky and i guess i'm not getting it. it doesn't say you can't ask about a situation. am i not allowed to ask a question for my husband?

And... many seniors simply won't bother entertaining questions from a stepparent that even sniffs like overstepping.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

i just found this absolutely ridiculous and proves how unfair the family court system can be. when my husbands ex had the kids and he was paying support it was $100 and he had to have insurance on them. same old, same old, no big suprise there.
well, a lot of stuff went down this summer and we ended up getting full custody of my step-sons and her 3 year old daughter. so he went into court to file to have his order reversed and file for support on emily. we got $19 a week support for her. since her mother still had insurance on her they gave her a $37 credit for that, so she only had to pay us $19. my husband was like what that is rediculous. the mediator said well since there really is no precident and she's not your biological child, this is what we're doing. if you want to appeal it you'll have to go to trenton.
we first got all of the kids the end of august. but we didn't really know what was going on with emily at first. at first we had her for two weeks. then we went into court and had her for a month. then finally we went back into court and were granted actually custody. which mean we could file for support. but that wasn't until like late october. and of course we weren't allowed to file from when we actually got her, only from when we filed. but again, prety standard i expcected that.
the mother got emily back in january. she didn't file to have her taken off the support until march. so they go back in and they were looking over everything. the girl doing the mediation was like oh, you're not making as much money any more, you should only be paying $77 a week instead of $100. she never even asked to have anything reduced! thankfully their mother said that wasn't fair she should be paying what he was when she had them.
but, here is what really had me wanting to scream. the woman says, oh you got her back in january, so we've got to take it off from then. WHAT????!!!! why is she not being held to you only get it from when you file?

it just sukcs because my husband has been fighting to get his kids and is being treated like crap. even now they've been removed from dyfs and placed with him and they are still seem to be leaning in her favor!

sniff...sniff...

Yup!! I smell the distinctive odor of overstepping.

 

[Proserpina]

i can understand that. and no he does not say we this or we that in court. he says he. and i am acutally usually not even there. the only time would be if they asked he would say some thing like my wife and i both have steady jobs. i was just kind of taken aback at the tone. i wasn't trying to be insulting, i was just kind of taken aback from the response of my original post. i understand legally i have no standing. it sucks, but i understand.
i know he needs to talk to a lawyer, but they are so expensive, we can't afford it.

From what you've posted your husband can't afford NOT to have an attorney if he wants to protect HIS rights and obligations.

And...y'still didn't edit your post, did you? Re-read that sticky. Edit your post.

 

[truebluemd]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

i just found this absolutely ridiculous and proves how unfair the family court system can be. when my husbands ex had the kids and he was paying support it was $100 and he had to have insurance on them. same old, same old, no big suprise there.
well, a lot of stuff went down this summer and we ended up getting full custody of my step-sons and her 3 year old daughter. so he went into court to file to have his order reversed and file for support on emily. we got $19 a week support for her. since her mother still had insurance on her they gave her a $37 credit for that, so she only had to pay us $19. my husband was like what that is rediculous. the mediator said well since there really is no precident and she's not your biological child, this is what we're doing. if you want to appeal it you'll have to go to trenton.
we first got all of the kids the end of august. but we didn't really know what was going on with emily at first. at first we had her for two weeks. then we went into court and had her for a month. then finally we went back into court and were granted actually custody. which mean we could file for support. but that wasn't until like late october. and of course we weren't allowed to file from when we actually got her, only from when we filed. but again, prety standard i expcected that.
the mother got emily back in january. she didn't file to have her taken off the support until march. so they go back in and they were looking over everything. the girl doing the mediation was like oh, you're not making as much money any more, you should only be paying $77 a week instead of $100. she never even asked to have anything reduced! thankfully their mother said that wasn't fair she should be paying what he was when she had them.
but, here is what really had me wanting to scream. the woman says, oh you got her back in january, so we've got to take it off from then. WHAT????!!!! why is she not being held to you only get it from when you file?

it just sukcs because my husband has been fighting to get his kids and is being treated like crap. even now they've been removed from dyfs and placed with him and they are still seem to be leaning in her favor!

awwww, it must be tough being an overststepping person with no legal rights in the matter.....poor you.