Does Brother Stand A Chance At Custody

[oiseeyuronhere]

What is the name of your state? New York
My brother was told at 14 he would probably never have children, then again at 23. This was due to a bad infection when he was 14. He had been with women and never worried about getting them pregnant. Now, 9 months ago a beautiful baby girl was born. The nine months that the mother was pregnant, she couldn't tell him if it was his child or her x's. So without much happiness we all waited to see if the baby would be born caucasion. It is painfully obvious that the child has certain similarities of this womans youngest other child but is probably my brothers daughter. My brother signed paternity papers and has financially taken care of this little girl. She is his little angel. This woman has 3 other children and all have different fathers and she gets no child support due to the fact that the fathers are all in jail. I honestly think my brother is being used as a meal ticket. She gets upset if my brother disaplins her children and has even told my brother not to touch his daughter that "I know how to take care of her". She constantly is trying to kick my brother out and is getting phone calls from x boyfriends that live out of the area. I babysit for them all week and my older daughters babysit on the weekends if they want to go out or do something. This woman treats me like I don't know anything and has even said that giving the baby powder soy formula that has been opened for more than a month will kill the baby. She has dropped the baby in a parking lot while putting groceries in the car and never told my brother and when I told my brother he was very upset to say the least. He has taken baby to doctor to get checked on a few occasions after baby fell from couch, bed etc and dr said he didn't have to worry that babies are resealant. Mother has fabricated what doctor says, "Baby might have URI or croup" we get told baby might have whooping cough. Why would she do this, who knows. She drinks and has done drugs and has allowed people into her home who have and do drugs. She has lied to social services and has forged my brothers signature on papers he had to fill out for social services saying how much money he makes. She wrote he made less and signed his name so she could continue to get benefits. There is much more but at this point, does my brother stand a chance at custody before it's too late and baby gets hurt really bad? Can he leave the house with her before he goes to court or talks to a lawyer? PLEASE HELP

 

[mary wren]

He should get a lawyer today. Call DHR tell them what is happening. To allow this to go own is child abuse.

 

[stealth2]

Well, for starters - can he prove any of this?

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

Does Brother Stand A Chance

Well, for starters - can he prove any of this?

I suppose my brother could prove some of this, she forged his signature right in front of me and then submitted the papers to social services. And my brother did take the baby to the doctors a few times and told the doctor what happened. The biggest problem with the drugs is that my brother does not want the other children to loose their mother as she is the only parent to take care of them. Her side of the family doesn't want anything to do with the children because the children have problems (ADHD) and one is biracial, and their fathers are all in jail. No, he doesn't want the other children to be hurt but he doesn't want them to be split up and taken away from their mother. One of the other children turned her mother in for hitting her and nothing was found. Now that child gets duct tape put on her mouth if she starts to be mouthy with mother. The tape has left bruise looking marks on the childs face and mother has admitted to this.

 

[casa]

I suppose my brother could prove some of this, she forged his signature right in front of me and then submitted the papers to social services. And my brother did take the baby to the doctors a few times and told the doctor what happened. The biggest problem with the drugs is that my brother does not want the other children to loose their mother as she is the only parent to take care of them. Her side of the family doesn't want anything to do with the children because the children have problems (ADHD) and one is biracial, and their fathers are all in jail. No, he doesn't want the other children to be hurt but he doesn't want them to be split up and taken away from their mother. One of the other children turned her mother in for hitting her and nothing was found. Now that child gets duct tape put on her mouth if she starts to be mouthy with mother. The tape has left bruise looking marks on the childs face and mother has admitted to this.

He knew this about this woman and stayed with her and had a baby? If a child is being duct taped- you/he SOMEONE needs to contact Children's Services....NOW

 

[stealth2]

He knew this about this woman and stayed with her and had a baby?

Tsk, casa - he didn't think he could get her pregnant. Of course, I'm a bit surprised that anyone would think someone like this was okay to have unprotected sex with for any number of reasons.

 

[Ambr]

Man....where do you start with this one.

The first thing, if CHILDREN are being abused and you are aware of this abuse it is your MORAL (forget legal) responsibility to REPORT the abuse. It would be nice if CPS could keep the children together, but which would you rather see: all the children together, attending funeral services for the one child who just happened to push someone to far OR the children possibly together, but living healthy lives in non-abusive homes????? That's a no brainer.

Second, the forged papers would be fraud against the state. Its his signature, do you think that she is honestly going to admit to sign it. He needs to contact the agency and let them know that it has come to his attention that papers were submitted and that he has not signed and/or submitted these papers. It's opening up a can of worms. He needs to be ready for the fallout.

Third, don't take this the wrong way - but what makes you brother believe that he was the only caucasion male that she was having sex with. It would be a wise move to perhaps get a DNA test on the child and ensure that he is the pop.

 

[mary wren]

There was a recent case in Alabama where the children were starved to death by Mother. If you ALL and I mean ALL who knows this does not stop this Women, You are contribution to child abuse. It does not matter who gets the children as long as they are alive and not in that abuse.

 

[stealth2]

Third, don't take this the wrong way - but what makes you brother believe that he was the only caucasion male that she was having sex with. It would be a wise move to perhaps get a DNA test on the child and ensure that he is the pop.

Probably too late since he already acknowledged paternity. He doesn't get a do-over.

 

[Ambr]

Probably too late since he already acknowledged paternity. He doesn't get a do-over.

I wasn't sure if he actually did an acknowledgement or just kind of jumped in and played dad off her word.

It sounds like MOM is on public assistance, and normally......they require DNA testing. Which means they will go after Dad for hospital bills and set up court ordered CS. She didn't mention any of those things.

So I was taking it that he didn't acknowledge and she didn't give him up. Easier to receive assistance if she plays dumb and they don't have anyone to go after.

 

[stealth2]

My brother signed paternity papers

Is what she posted.

 

[Ambr]

do-overs......long time since I thought about one of those.

Weren't those great? LOL!!!

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

Does Brother Stand A Chance

No my brother wasn't too smart when it came to unprotected sex with this woman, but he did and the baby is here. I as well as others tried to get him to get a DNA and he just didn't want to look like he didn't want this baby. For what ever reason this is what he thought if he were to request a DNA. By looks alone my family believes this little girl is my brothers, I still am not 100% convinced. She probably is his but I would like the proof. This child has my brothers last name, he is on her birth certificate and he has given her my mothers name in honor of my mother who is dying of a lung disease. My mother believes this little girl is heaven sent for my brother. She is our little angel. No my brother would not have picked this woman to have children with but that is not the issue now. I believe this woman is setting my brother up and his family members to look bad should anyone turn her in. She tells us one thing then acts like she never said that. She constantly questions our ability to take care of the baby, I have 4 grown children, my sister has 2 grown children, I think we can take care of babies and small children. The question remains, what kind of chance does my brother have of getting 1/2 or full PHYSICAL custody of his baby????? I have an appointment for him to talk to my lawyer this thursday. The baby is 9 months old and breast feeds 1 maybe 2 times a day, she is on baby food and cereal and soy formula. I don't really think she can use the breast thing to keep the baby. She has also used pain pills, that were previously perscribed for her, and not told my brother untill he caught her taking them and this made the baby vomit and have loose stool. How does one prove all this?????

 

[stealth2]

Noone can say what his chances are. For full custody, he'd pretty well need to prove the mother unfit. Simply saying that XYZ happened and she takes ABC drugs isn't proof. Reports to CPS and affirmitive findings, police reports, convictions, commitments to hospitals/rehab - those are proof.

Why do I get the feeling that you are more invested in this whole process than Dad is?

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

No, as far as I know there have been no court proceedings for paternity. He signed papers in the hospital when the baby was born. Yes, the mother is on social services and get's medicaid, food stamps, and cash assistance as well as babysitting paid for. Do overs, not an option To bad for all involved. My mother is furious with me over all of this because I am the only one pushing the issue with all of this. My brother lives in the house and social services has adjusted their help in consideration of my brothers income. Another thing, this year my brother claimed his daughter on his taxes and daughters mother is letting her mother, who doesn't live in the house, and mothers other 3 children don't live with her and rarely even visit, claim these 3 children on her income taxes because she will get a bigger personal deduction for dependants and will qualify for the EIC and get a bigger piece of that pie. Isn't this a Federal crime??? I think my brother should use all the dirt that this woman has handed to him, he just wants to take the high road and be honerable because after all this woman is the mother of his child. What to do?????