Does Brother Stand A Chance At Custody

[stealth2]

No, as far as I know there have been no court proceedings for paternity. He signed papers in the hospital when the baby was born. Yes, the mother is on social services and get's medicaid, food stamps, and cash assistance as well as babysitting paid for. Do overs, not an option To bad for all involved. My mother is furious with me over all of this because I am the only one pushing the issue with all of this. My brother lives in the house and social services has adjusted their help in consideration of my brothers income. Another thing, this year my brother claimed his daughter on his taxes and daughters mother is letting her mother, who doesn't live in the house, and mothers other 3 children don't live with her and rarely even visit, claim these 3 children on her income taxes because she will get a bigger personal deduction for dependants and will qualify for the EIC and get a bigger piece of that pie. Isn't this a Federal crime??? I think my brother should use all the dirt that this woman has handed to him, he just wants to take the high road and be honerable because after all this woman is the mother of his child. What to do?????

So in other words - you're the only one who wants to take this further. Butt out.

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

Noone can say what his chances are. For full custody, he'd pretty well need to prove the mother unfit. Simply saying that XYZ happened and she takes ABC drugs isn't proof. Reports to CPS and affirmitive findings, police reports, convictions, commitments to hospitals/rehab - those are proof.

Why do I get the feeling that you are more invested in this whole process than Dad is?

Ok, so there is no solid proof other than the forged signature to social services. So it will fall into a "He said, She said" thing. Yes, I am very involved in this whole thing, I babysit for my niece and this womans 3 year old everyday and my eldest daughter goes to school and watches them in the afternoon along with the other 2 children that go to school. We are becomming their main care givers and this woman is treating us like ****. She, I feel, I using my brother to take care of her and her other children and my brother doesn't care as long as he knows his daughter is being taken care of and he can be with her. This woman is now working and still gets help with rent and food stamps. I'm not sure what other help she is getting. She has used my name on daycare papers with out my consent and told me after the fact. I don't get paid for watching the children but my daughter does and my younger daugher does when she watches the children on the weekend. My mother bought this girl a new van to transport all the children safely and my mother kept title in her name. We have helped this girl to extreams and her family doesn't do anything for her. I guess I am resentful that everything has fallen on my brother and our family. If we back out, I fear what might happen to these children. It's a very sharp double sided knife

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

So in other words - you're the only one who wants to take this further. Butt out.

Please make up your mind, to I say something about the kids to protective services or butt out?

 

[stealth2]

Does your brother live with her?

 

[stealth2]

Here's the deal... From what you say there is no proof of abuse. Your brother (I'm inferring - I could be wrong) lives with the mother and some number of children - one of whom is his. Bro does not apparently have any overwhelming issues regarding the safety of the child(ren) - at least nothing that rises to the level of calling authorities himself, filing for custody of his own volition, removing his child from the situation.

So, suppose you go ahead and call CPS. The most likely outcome is that they will go out (after having spoken with Mom and Dad and given them warning) and will find your allegations unfounded. Bro is going to know who called CPS. And likely be pretty pissed off with you for making trouble. So you'll find that your bro is going to put the kabosh on your babysitting his kid. Perhaps even having any contact with the kid. Is that what you want?

Now suppose CPS finds that there is an issue. Guess what - your bro's head is on the same chopping block as Mom's. That's going to score you lots of points with your family, isn't it? And don't count on you being the one chosen to get temp custody of the kiddo.

Now, if this is an avenue your bother wants to pursue - that's a different story. But from the sounds of it, while she's not a great mother, she's also not actively abusing the kids. And maybe it would make sense for you to quit making waves and look out for the kiddos as you have been up to now.

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

Does your brother live with her?

Yes, brother lives with her and has his bags packed because she keeps kicking him out and then tells him no to stay. He stays because of his daughter. He cooks dinners and pays someone to clean the house because she won't clean. He tries to keep her happy but it's almost impossible to do, she has no respect for anyone. Her telling my brother not to touch the baby is the "straw that broke the camels back" as my brother put it and asked me to get in touch with a lawyer. I did and asked them if my brother could leave with the baby and go to my mothers house and they said yes but she could call the cops and it would end up being who cooperated with the cops because there has been no court procedings yet.

 

[casa]

Yes, brother lives with her and has his bags packed because she keeps kicking him out and then tells him no to stay. He stays because of his daughter. He cooks dinners and pays someone to clean the house because she won't clean. He tries to keep her happy but it's almost impossible to do, she has no respect for anyone. Her telling my brother not to touch the baby is the "straw that broke the camels back" as my brother put it and asked me to get in touch with a lawyer. I did and asked them if my brother could leave with the baby and go to my mothers house and they said yes but she could call the cops and it would end up being who cooperated with the cops because there has been no court procedings yet.

Tell your brother to take the child and get OUT of that house, file emergency order for custody, ask for a GAL or advocate for the child. Contact Children's Services & make a report. (That combined with matching stories of the previous reports will arouse suspicion and likely begin an investigation). This is ridiculous~ After even hearing or seeing any of what you mentioned, what is the problem with you people- allowing it to continue? It sounds like your brother still cares for the mother and that's why he's trying to play her game...and only gets upset when she kicks him out. He is partially guilty himself, for allowing some of these things to continue.

When your brother found out she was taking medication and then breastfeeding...When you saw her forge a document and said nothing...When you became aware the one child's mouth was being duct taped because of telling children's services...When your Mom gave her a vehicle: All enabling her to continue her behaviors without consequences.

I understand there are other children involved which your brother has no custody rights too...but why would you want them to remain in that environment?

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

Up Date

Well, my brother went to talk to an Attorney today. He got good news. Yes, in NY my brother can leave the house with his 9 month old daughter and file an emergency petition for custody. There have been other complaints filed against the mother that we weren't aware of and this puts more in favor of my brother getting custody of his daughter. He must move out with his daughter and procede from there. So he is getting things in order to procede. Thanks everyone for the advise. Hopefully all the kids will be alright.