Does she have enough to change custody?

[dadinMS]

I'm trying to figure out how my wife's tattoo shows anything towards my ex. It's her body. It has nothing to do with my ex or her relationship with the kids. It was to symbolize our family, as in the one living under our roof. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Ohiogal]

In my first post today I mentioned PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME. Because mom says it in her amended complaint. She flips back and forth between calling it parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome.

Parental alienation exists. Parental alienation syndrome was developed by a crackpot.
Read this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/06/09/nyregion/richard-gardner-72-dies-cast-doubt-on-abuse-claims.html


http://www.law.ucdavis.edu/faculty/Bruch/files/fam353_06_Bruch_Gardner.pdf

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Richard_A._Gardner

http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/lizonpas.htm


PAS has been discredited by several medical and scientific communities due to the fact that there are NO studies on it. Parental alienation is different. There are various other pages on it. Gardner was a sick cookie who actually believed that children could seduce adults into having sex with them and thus they were not victims of sexual abuse.

 

[dadinMS]

So you have reasons. Good. That is what you need. No one said you would lose custody. NO ONE said that. It was stated that it COULD hurt you based on what else your ex had. good grief.

Not sure what the good grief is all about. You made the point that the phone records I have might in fact not help me and pointed out that there should be a minimum 8 per month. So I was explaining why there wasn't. So good grief back at ya.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm trying to figure out how my wife's tattoo shows anything towards my ex. It's her body. It has nothing to do with my ex or her relationship with the kids. It was to symbolize our family, as in the one living under our roof. Nothing more, nothing less.

She tattooed YOUR EX'S CHILDREN'S NAMES ON HER BODY -- you don't see how that can be seen as negative toward the mother? As disrespectful that your wife is claiming some sort of "ownership" or "rights" over your ex's children?

 

[Ohiogal]

Not sure what the good grief is all about. You made the point that the phone records I have might in fact not help me and pointed out that there should be a minimum 8 per month. So I was explaining why there wasn't. So good grief back at ya.

Good grief is about the fact that NO ONE SAID YOU WOULD LOSE CUSTODY. Try to be a bit respectful to those attempting to educate you.

 

[Ladyback1]

Good grief is about the fact that NO ONE SAID YOU WOULD LOSE CUSTODY. Try to be a bit respectful to those attempting to educate you.

You have to give respect to get respect.

A tattoo of a person's/child's name does not indicate ownership or disrespect.
Every tattoo is highly personally to the person who chose to get the tattoo.

Perhaps YOU should do your research on tattoos in general, as well as an in-depth character study of the step-mom to know what her very personal reason was for including the stepchildren's names. (and let go of some of your prejudices regarding tattoos)

(and yeah, since Parental Alienation Syndrome was mentioned by the OP---we were talking about it. Not that you'll admit that for a second, but hey...)

 

[dadinMS]

She tattooed YOUR EX'S CHILDREN'S NAMES ON HER BODY -- you don't see how that can be seen as negative toward the mother? As disrespectful that your wife is claiming some sort of "ownership" or "rights" over your ex's children?

They are not only MY EX'S children. They are also MY children, and WE have lived together as a family unit for almost a decade. No, I don't see how it's negative towards their mom. It has absolutely nothing to do with her. Ownership or rights? You're reading way too much into some ink. Seriously. My wife wanted her first and only tattoo to be about the thing most important to her -- family. And while legally my kids might not be her family, they are in an emotional sense. It was about symbolism, not legalities.

And I haven't been rude to you. I do believe you started the rudeness by calling my wife an idiot, or something along those lines.

 

[Ohiogal]

You have to give respect to get respect.

A tattoo of a person's/child's name does not indicate ownership or disrespect.
Every tattoo is highly personally to the person who chose to get the tattoo.

Perhaps YOU should do your research on tattoos in general, as well as an in-depth character study of the step-mom to know what her very personal reason was for including the stepchildren's names.

(and yeah, since Parental Alienation Syndrome was mentioned by the OP---we were talking about it. Not that you'll admit that for a second, but hey...)

I was NOT talking about Parental Alienation Syndrome. I was talking about Parental Alienation. Deal with that. And I know about tattoos. I was talking about how a court could see it. But then again you don't get that. How often do you deal with family courts? Custody battles? I deal with it daily. And I was being respectful. I told him how it could be seen and what could happen. He decided to become a smart aleck. As did you. I have NEVER given credit to PAS. Try educating yourself.

 

[Ohiogal]

They are not only MY EX'S children. They are also MY children, and WE have lived together as a family unit for almost a decade. No, I don't see how it's negative towards their mom. It has absolutely nothing to do with her. Ownership or rights? You're reading way too much into some ink. Seriously. My wife wanted her first and only tattoo to be about the thing most important to her -- family. And while legally my kids might not be her family, they are in an emotional sense. It was about symbolism, not legalities.

And I haven't been rude to you. I do believe you started the rudeness by calling my wife an idiot, or something along those lines.

You don't want to get it. You do not want to even see how her attorney can paint it. Fine. Go ahead blindly. Don't care. Sink or swim. Go in spouting about PAS without having a clue what it is and how it differs from Parental Alienation. Or you could learn about PAS and use it to discredit your ex. You can also prepare to show how you are NOT alienating your ex. But whatever. Do what you want.

 

[dadinMS]

You don't want to get it. You do not want to even see how her attorney can paint it. Fine. Go ahead blindly. Don't care. Sink or swim. Go in spouting about PAS without having a clue what it is and how it differs from Parental Alienation. Or you could learn about PAS and use it to discredit your ex. You can also prepare to show how you are NOT alienating your ex. But whatever. Do what you want.

I think you are confused. I'm not spouting anything about PAS. My ex amended her complaint to include PAS. I am trying to prepare how to show that I'm not alienating her, but how do you prove a negative? I figured that phone records showing 200+ minutes almost every month of her talking to the kids would do so, but according to you it doesn't because it doesn't show that they answered the phone every single time she called. Maybe they didn't...they do bathe sometimes.

 

[Ladyback1]

I was NOT talking about Parental Alienation Syndrome. I was talking about Parental Alienation. Deal with that. And I know about tattoos. I was talking about how a court could see it. But then again you don't get that. How often do you deal with family courts? Custody battles? I deal with it daily. And I was being respectful. I told him how it could be seen and what could happen. He decided to become a smart aleck. As did you. I have NEVER given credit to PAS. Try educating yourself.

Oh, I get it. I am educated. While I don't hold a JD, that doesn't make me any less wise or any less intelligent than you.

No, you weren't being respectful. You called the man's wife an idiot. On no planet that I know of is that respectful.

I realize that all of this is black and white to you, there are no shades of gray and certainly no room for being KIND to others. It's the law by golly, and that's it as far as your concerned.

If you are as hateful and mean in your "real" life as you have been here, I can understand why you are paranoid about getting stabbed in the back.

You have a wonderful and precious opportunity to actual help people on this board--but you are so wrapped up in yourself and your ego that you do more harm than good. I really hope that the person you are in real life, is not the person you are on the internet.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think you are confused. I'm not spouting anything about PAS. My ex amended her complaint to include PAS. I am trying to prepare how to show that I'm not alienating her, but how do you prove a negative? I figured that phone records showing 200+ minutes almost every month of her talking to the kids would do so, but according to you it doesn't because it doesn't show that they answered the phone every single time she called. Maybe they didn't...they do bathe sometimes.

Totally missing the point. TOTALLY. The phone calls are just one piece. As are the facebook posts. And the tattoo. And the school records. And the medical records. And what they call your wife. The WHOLE PICTURE matters for Parental Alienation. Drop the syndrome. Anyone who wants to prove that is proving a discredited idea started by a lousy disgusting excuse for a man who believed that children WANTED to be sexually violated by adults regardless of their age and that the children would orgasm from it thus proving that they wanted to be sexually "pleasured". EDUCATE YOURSELF by reading the links I posted. Realize the full extent of what parental alienation actually is. I am not confused. I am trying to get you to look at the ENTIRE picture and how HER attorney can paint things but also get you to see what you have that shows it is not alienation. Continue on not getting it though. Phone records don't necessarily disprove you limiting communication. That is fact. However alienation is not necessarily just about phone calls.

And your wife needs to make her facebook PRIVATE and not friend anyone who is friends with the ex.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh, I get it. I am educated. While I don't hold a JD, that doesn't make me any less wise or any less wise than you.

No, you weren't being respectful. You called the man's wife an idiot. On no planet that I know of is that respectful.

I realize that all of this is black and white to you, there are no shades of gray and certainly no room for being KIND to others. It's the law by golly, and that's it as far as your concerned.

If you are as hateful and mean in your "real" life as you have been here, I can understand why you are paranoid about getting stabbed in the back.

You have a wonderful and precious opportunity to actual help people on this board--but you are so wrapped up in yourself and your ego that you do more harm than good. I really hope that the person you are in real life, is not the person you are on the internet.

You really need to just ramble about stuff you know nothing about. Continue. YOu don't get it. You don't comprehend what PAS is or how it differs from Parental Alienation. And his wife in my opinion is an idiot for getting names of people not related legally to her by blood or adoption tattooed on her skin. Continue with your ranting and raving and not getting any of it. Continue in your ignorance.

 

[dadinMS]

Totally missing the point. TOTALLY. The phone calls are just one piece. As are the facebook posts. And the tattoo. And the school records. And the medical records. And what they call your wife. The WHOLE PICTURE matters for Parental Alienation. Drop the syndrome. Anyone who wants to prove that is proving a discredited idea started by a lousy disgusting excuse for a man who believed that children WANTED to be sexually violated by adults regardless of their age and that the children would orgasm from it thus proving that they wanted to be sexually "pleasured". EDUCATE YOURSELF by reading the links I posted. Realize the full extent of what parental alienation actually is. I am not confused. I am trying to get you to look at the ENTIRE picture and how HER attorney can paint things but also get you to see what you have that shows it is not alienation. Continue on not getting it though. Phone records don't necessarily disprove you limiting communication. That is fact. However alienation is not necessarily just about phone calls.

And your wife needs to make her facebook PRIVATE and not friend anyone who is friends with the ex.

Make no mistake, I DO appreciate your help. But I think your message got somewhat lost in your attitude. You can think my wife is an idiot if you want. I personally think her tattoo is a beautiful expression and symbol of the love she has for me and my children, and the life we've created together. We don't have to agree on that. All I can do is explain that to the judge and hope he's more open minded about tattoos and symbolism than you are. You say drop the syndrome...her complaint states that myself and my wife have subjected and infected the children with Parental Alienation Syndrome. That's the only reason I brought it up. I am in the process of following your links now, and must say I'm quite horrified.

You say that phone records dont necessarily disprove limiting communication...but isn't the burden on her to prove that I have since she's making the claim? Isn't the burden of proof on her for everything she's stated? If so, all she has is a tattoo and 2 facebook posts since 2009.

 

[Ohiogal]

Make no mistake, I DO appreciate your help. But I think your message got somewhat lost in your attitude. You can think my wife is an idiot if you want. I personally think her tattoo is a beautiful expression and symbol of the love she has for me and my children, and the life we've created together. We don't have to agree on that. All I can do is explain that to the judge and hope he's more open minded about tattoos and symbolism than you are. You say drop the syndrome...her complaint states that myself and my wife have subjected and infected the children with Parental Alienation Syndrome. That's the only reason I brought it up. I am in the process of following your links now, and must say I'm quite horrified.

You say that phone records dont necessarily disprove limiting communication...but isn't the burden on her to prove that I have since she's making the claim? Isn't the burden of proof on her for everything she's stated? If so, all she has is a tattoo and 2 facebook posts since 2009.

Yes the burden is on her. Which if you read what I stated says that she doesn't have much because EVERYTHING is a part of alienation. The phone records are a very little bit of it. And you have no clue what I think of tattoos or how many I have or anything else. Parental alienation exists. PAS is bs.