Domicile Restriction(s)

[ukndoit]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I want to Force my "ex" to not be able to move in with the loser she is seeing right now. We are agreeing on joint custody, and I want to add a paragraph to the "agreement" that says neither, I, NOR HER, can move in with someone, or at least that while we have our daughter we cannot stay with someone while in a "sexual relationship" and not married.

Here is the wording I am adding, is it what I think it is? Is it "legal"?

Thank you!!!

"12. That both parties hereto agree that they forfeit their right of visitation and/or physical custody of said minor, upon living with a person of the opposite sex, while in a non-martial, sexual relationship with such individual. If such is the case, party-parent shall regain such right by not staying in the same house with any party whom party-parent has an immoral relationship, while said child is in the physical custody of the same party-parent."

 

[Exsisto]

So, she's moved on. He's a loser. They are having sex. All this is happening right in front of your child and the child is clearly being adversly affected by this. It sounds like you two aren't "agreeing" on much of anything so far.

I went the "old fashioned way" before I married my current husband. It worked perfectly for us even though my "ex" didn't actively try to control our life until after we married. It's been a real party ever since. Shiny disco balls and all.

If they are going to eventually marry they very well may, in order to follow your request, marry earlier that expected or than they are ready.

IF this works out for you, once that's out of the way what's going to be in paragraph 13?

Go ugly early!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I want to Force my "ex" to not be able to move in with the loser she is seeing right now. We are agreeing on joint custody, and I want to add a paragraph to the "agreement" that says neither, I, NOR HER, can move in with someone, or at least that while we have our daughter we cannot stay with someone while in a "sexual relationship" and not married.

Here is the wording I am adding, is it what I think it is? Is it "legal"?

Thank you!!!

"12. That both parties hereto agree that they forfeit their right of visitation and/or physical custody of said minor, upon living with a person of the opposite sex, while in a non-martial, sexual relationship with such individual. If such is the case, party-parent shall regain such right by not staying in the same house with any party whom party-parent has an immoral relationship, while said child is in the physical custody of the same party-parent."

My response:

Seriously - - you must be joking.

What do the following words and phrases mean:

1. "sexual relationship" - define that, and how would you know?

2. "immoral relationship" - what does that mean? Who would be the judge of what is, or isn't, "immoral" even if you could define it?

3. "living with" - What does that mean? How do you define that? At what point would you consider that two people are "living with" each other? It's a bit like saying, "At what point does a string become a rope?" or, "At what point in size does a boat become a ship?"


Additionally, a judge would never agree with:

a. "forfeit their right of visitation and/or physical custody of said minor"


Also, you used the word "they" (which is plural) in the following sentence:

"That both parties hereto agree that they forfeit their right of visitation and/or physical custody of said minor, upon living with a person of the opposite sex, while in a non-martial, sexual relationship with such individual."

So, does that mean if either one of you lives with another, that you're BOTH going to give up custody?


You see, your paragraph is not only rediculous from a realistic, human, standpoint, but even if it was possible, the paragraph, as written, is so badly phrased that anyone reading it would be scratching their head saying, "What did he mean by this?" "What was he trying to say?"

Remember, it's all about "Legal" meanings. Not dictionary meanings.

IAAL

 

[ukndoit]

Thank you!

That is just what I was looking for.

We were not married, we are just trying to get "joint" custody on record with the courts for both of our protection.

I do have a recording of her saying about her current boy friend that his, well let's say private part, is much smaller then mine and stuff like that. I did that in case she ever tried to say she was not with him. I don't want to use it, but if she denied being his "lover" I have this as proof that she is lying.

How could I word this, so that it's legal, ethical, and would be accepted by a Judge? I don't want to take my daughter away from her, but I don't want her around this dude. If she marries him, I'll then go for full custody, which I probably could win, since she tried to committ suicide, and is a horible mother.

I think that my daughter needs to know her though, and grow up around her, so I want her to have joint custody. But I'll draw the line there, this guy is seriously a bum, a total loser.

I need to know how to word this so I can change what I did.
I hired an attorney to give me what I have, I got the form, and am ready to file, but realized that I don't have this, and need the protection from it.

I further added this paragraph, can you critique it for me too?

Thank you!

"11. That both parties hereto agree that neither party-parent shall move 50 miles from the other party-parent, without the written consent of the other party-parent."

 

[ukndoit]

Is there even a way?

I think I seen some posts that say their "decree" had limitations like that. What wording should I use?

Thank you in advance for any thing you can help me with.

 

[shawna maples]

no cohabitation. no overnight visitors during periods of possession of the child..

restriction of the geographical location of the child's primary residence to the present county or surrounding counties..

 

[tammy8]

Oh come oh....

So you never plan on remarrying??????

 

[Exsisto]

tammy, it's been done. Even when I didn't know about any decree or arrangement that people make for cohabitation or overnights I still got married without any overnights before marriage and without living together first.

People used to do that.

Normally, if the child isn't harmed or adversly affected by the relationship of a new addition there's nothing that can be done. This is how it is in my state (Indiana) but that doesn't mean beans in any other state.

This seems like more of a control issue than anything else based on the original poster's opinions and interpretations from a conversation he had with his ex over the phone. Even though part of that conversation included the size of the new boyfriend's member I don't remember it ever being illegal to have a little winky. Pity as it is, life just isn't fair, doesn't mean it's agianst the law.

The least he can do is try it and see how it goes.

 

[Whyte Noise]

I think the wording I've seen used before is something along the lines of...

"No overnight guests of the opposite sex that are not related by blood or marriage".

Also, OP... you can't restrict the other parent's right to relocate, however you CAN put provisions in there that restrict moving the CHILD. Something like, "Both parties agree that neither of them shall move the primary residence of the child without express written permission of the non-moving parent or the court."

 

[stealth2]

We were not married, we are just trying to get "joint" custody on record with the courts for both of our protection.

So having a sexual relationship outside of marriage (and in front of a minor child) was OK when it was the two of you, but now that you're no longer together, it's not? Do you see anything screwy with your logic?

 

[oberauerdorf]

It's a man, so "if she's not doing it with me she can't be doing it PERIOD"

Oh brother

 

[ukndoit]

She can get it on with whomever she want's, but not in front of my child, as I do not do that either!!

I forbid her to take my child around this junkie of a loser.
That is why I'm taking this action.

Thank you very much.

 

[stealth2]

She can get it on with whomever she want's, but not in front of my child, as I do not do that either!!

I forbid her to take my child around this junkie of a loser.
That is why I'm taking this action.

Thank you very much.

So once the child was conceived, you and your ex didn't have sex anymore?

Be prepared for a judge to smack you down on this one unless you can PROVE that the b/f is a danger to the child.

 

[HomeGuru]

There are other ways to deal with the problem if in fact he is a druggie.