Don't want child support

[haiku]

In our case the parents of my great-grandchild agreed and signed papers
with no support mentioned. They didn't use an attorney but got the judge
to sign. Is this legal?

you should really start your own thread, but as mentioned upthread, if the parents agree, and the judge signs, its legal, and thier business.

 

[unlucky lady]

H is not a totally deadbeat dad. We have a child with a major disability which required one of us to be available almost full time. I love my job, he hated his...so we opted for him to be the primary care giver. Other child is typical, but we homeschooled him and H was also responsible for that. In other words, H was a stay at home dad. No daycare needed, no missed work for me. H also takes care of all car/home repairs, so I have not had expenses in these areas.

Unfortunately, H also found time to have an affair that has resulted in a child that is supposedly his. This is why I am ending the marriage.

H would like to continue to take care of car/house for me. H also has said he wants to continue to provide "afterschool care" and care for kids when they are ill (so still no missed work for me). I don't know that I want him around all the time, even if it is to fix the sink or change my oil. I think it would be harder to "heal". But, allowing him to do these things would possibly be in the best interest of the children and would allow him to make some type of contribution.

Would these "services" be considered in-kind contributions? Do they need a dollar amount assigned to them? H just doesn't want a document that states he must pay $ he doesn't have. He's worried that I might get "mean" and use it to have him put in jail. ) H really doesn't want a divorce at all, which makes it harder to talk with him about terms.

Thank you for all advice so far.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

The questions and facts keep changing, please search Georgia and the different divorce related topics and then try asking your questions again and give us the facts first.
A few hints:
Adultery is grounds for divorce and may affect settlements.
Paternity needs to be established on the child he may have fathered, they have a right to C/S.
Your disabled child may factor into your divorce in other ways.
Your husband may ask for spousal support and Custody since he has been the primary caregiver.
There are others you will discover as you search, from what you told us so far you might really consider marital counseling before moving forward with a divorce.

 

[stealth2]

As the primary caregiver, your husband would stand an excellent chance of gaining custody of the children.

 

[unlucky lady]

The questions and facts keep changing, please search Georgia and the different divorce related topics and then try asking your questions again and give us the facts first.
A few hints:
Adultery is grounds for divorce and may affect settlements.
Paternity needs to be established on the child he may have fathered, they have a right to C/S.
Your disabled child may factor into your divorce in other ways.
Your husband may ask for spousal support and Custody since he has been the primary caregiver.
There are others you will discover as you search, from what you told us so far you might really consider marital counseling before moving forward with a divorce.

As I find out more, I have new questions to ask. I'd just found out about in-kind contributions, so I wondered if this was a way H could contribute in a judge's eyes and still not have to say he will pay a $ amount each month.

I don't want to use adultry as grounds (unless H makes it get ugly). Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage will do.

If H owes child support to the other woman, that is her problem and she can pursue it. This would not be part of my divorce settlement. It is not my job to get her child support. She wants H.

I know that disabled child could increase CS amount (if I wanted $) but I don't and H doesn't have it.

I have told him that I would provide funds and insurance for him for a certain time period. (Although I'm pretty sure his adultry would knock out any claim to spousal support if he tried to turn this into a battle.)

H doesn't want custody or home. He agrees that the house should be mine and that the children should stay here. H just doesn't want any limits on when he can see them. I told him he could see them everyday if he just let me know at least 24 hours before and it didn't keep them away from school, therapy, band, etc. Since the house has been adapted for disabled child, I think his visitation should be here. I have been reading about "nesting" where we'd move in and out, but kids would stay put. I like this idea. It also keeps my kids from having to go visit him at OW apartment.

As of now, H still lives here. I have asked him to move out, but he will not.

I don't want a lawyer to charge me a ton of $ to try and talk me into trying to get child support, etc. I want to agree to all H's terms and make this as easy as possible. I'm tired of fighting.

Thanks again for the words of wisdom.

 

[ili]

You sound like a sensible person-not vindictive

Good luck in your pursuit. Its nice when two people agree to continue to
love the children and share in their care even though the matital relationship
is fractured. I hope everything works out well for all concerned.

 

[unlucky lady]

Thank you. It is my hope that I will be able to rise above the pain I've felt and not do anything to just be nasty toward H. I'm not perfect and I have said some harsh things to H. But, I am trying. In the end, it would be our children that would be hurt and they are already going to be dealing with plenty.

So, could his "services" be considered in-kind contributions and count as support? Would a dollar amount need to be assigned to each service? Has anyone seen this before?