Dont want to lose my girl again:(

[Scared Mommy]

What is the name of your state? New Mexico
Hi, my divorce was filed in California. We now live in New Mexico (ex husband also) and share custody of our 8 y old daughter. My new husband and I will possibly be moving out of state soon (back to CA). My ex has primary custody and I have visitation. Obviously I cant drive 14 hrs back to NM every weekend. What is the first step I need to take in a new arrangement. I would prefer to get custody as my ex has no job and lives with his mother and leaves our daughter to go out drinking all the time. He has moved without consent once before (didnt know I could do anything about it then) and left the state with her. He also isnt providing the medical insurance he is reuired to by the courts. Any help would be great-- I dont wont to lose her again.

 

[glowgirl]

I believe that the best thing would be to speak with a lawyer. If things are not resolved by the time you move I would have to suggest still taking the time to visit with your child as despite 14 hours that should as I am sure you know be a priority, and it seems she is. Perhaps if you and the father are on good terms this is something you can work out together and then change. I cannot comment on what may come of your situation but if you feel the father at this time is unfit, so to speak, than you may want to try for custody or perhaps alter your visitation (length and travel) if possible, if you have of course all the mentioned paperwork. If you have been using your visitation to its full benefit alterations could possibly be made to make the length and cost of the travel time easier for you. Good luck

 

[nextwife]

I mean no disrespect, but there is nothing and no one that could make me move away from where my child is. No job is ever important enough to be worth moving away from my kid. Why not reconsider how really important moving away is to you?

Why is it that at least 50% of these move away posts are due to the "new husband" wanting to move? The child is entitled to have both their parents in their everyday life. What is it with the new spouses walking in and expecting to take the child away from one of their parents? Every other day there's yet another move away post attributable to the new spouse or new boyfriend wanting to move elsewhere? Sorry, but reading these day after day makes me angry for the children involved. The new spouse/boyfriends are NOT the child's parent and it's a shame that they impose decisions all the time that interfere with a child being able to see BOTH parents regularly.

 

[Scared Mommy]

Excuse me?

No disrespect back, but answer the information given... dont assume to know the situation. moving to CA is necessary for more reasons than money. I also have a 10 month old baby who has medical reasons for being there. It is very easy to jump in and accuse and tell people they are doing wrong when you aren't in the situation. This is supposed to be about information... not ranting about something obviously wrong in your own life. Next time try compassion and understanding, not down talking and the high and mightys.

 

[Whyte Noise]

This is a tad off-topic, but...

I mean no disrespect, but there is nothing and no one that could make me move away from where my child is.

I used to think that myself. Until I actually had to make the choice of what would be the best for my children in the long-run.

 

[Scared Mommy]

Thanks MissouriGirl and Glowgal. It is true, you never really know until you are in the situation. Now I am torn between whats best for two different kids... and the answers are in two different states. I have to just make the best of it that I can until I can afford to fight for custody of my daughter. My main question was how to get started in the fight, assuming hes not going to agree to a nice sharing time scenario.

 

[tigger2two]

to answer your question.....Get an attorney. Wanting to move is going to more than likely put the burden of transportation back and forth solely on you. If you can prove that your daughters best intrest is to be with you then go for it. No child should take the back burner to a bar. You of course would have to have proof of all of the things your saying. And that still may not be enough to get custody. None of us here can tell you what the judge will do. But if it were my kids I would sure as hell try.