doubt my fatherhood

[in7yrszu]

fatherhood issues

California. I was 16 when met this 22 year old woman at a party where she used men to get her drugs. We did sex and about 2 years later she showed up at my door saying the child is mine. She admitted she had been living with this guy at the time of her pregnancy but when he saw the baby he didn't think it was his and split. She went on welfare and told the authorities the baby is mine and some time later the caught up with me and so now they are deducting $700.00 out of my paycheck. Now I am 25 and the child is now seven years old and thinks I am her father though my family is not very convinced. My mother at that time told me she was going to accuse the woman for child molestation but I didn't let her do it..Now I'm married and have my own family and my wife can't understand why I am paying so much money.
Is it too late to do the DNA testing? is it very costly?
Please help me with any information that can help me with this situation.
Desperate

 

[karma1]

I'll refer you, too, to this site....

www.deltabravo.net
You'll find a wealth of info from the main page-read everything including TGB's links~
I dont believe it's too late to ask for a DNA test but my question would be, when you were first notified of a wage garnishment, why didnt you protest paternity then? Or did I misunderstand this?

 

[mrseld]

And why, after all this time, would you let a little INNOCENT child think you are her father and now you're looking for a way to financially dump her off because you have kids that you are "CERTAIN" are yours?

It's not your daughter's fault that she's here and for you to parade yourself around like you're her father and now that you have a wife and more kids, you think this little girl's feelings(and financial future) are expendable?

So.....you want out from underneath this because of the "$700"? Is your child not worth $700 to you? Well, in some states after a certain amount of time has passed, even if you prove the child isn't yours, you still have to pay. And it would serve you right to have to keep on paying.

Children shouldn't have to suffer financially because you were too lazy to get a DNA test in the first place. You make it sound like you questioned it from the get-go. From what you've paid out you could've paid for a DNA test 10 times over probably. I don't know what they cost and I hope they're expensive. You should have to pay out the ass for what you are trying to do to this little girl after all this time.

And why did your mother want to accuse the bio mom of child molestation? So you could get custody and not have to pay the support or because she thought it was really going on?

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

Because he was a 16 year old boy and she was a 22 year old woman.

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

Is it just me or are the dates and ages not adding up?

you were 16 when you had sex with this woman but are now 25, and the little girl is only 7? I'm really terrible at math but does this seem right? I could be totally miscalculating so forgive me if I'm wrong.

 

[amacoycurry]

Get a DNA test done as soon as possible. If what you say is true it is a sad situation that this child is in and the only one that put her there is her so called mother. I am really tired of these "poor" women sleeping with all kinds of men and then wonder why someone would be skeptical whether they were the father or not. Why did you not question it right away?

 

[JoandJa'smom]

If you were 16 when you concieved this child the child would be at least 8 by now, if not 9 already. This is suspicious to me.

JoandJa'smom

 

[hbriggs007]

Here is a site that you can order a paternity test kit from...I believe this one starts at $245.

http://www.genetree.com[/URL

 

[3kidsmom]

IAAL can correct me if I am wrong

But if I have read the CA law correctly, paternity can not be contested after the 2nd anniversary of the child's birth. Sounds like she has a default paternity judgement against you. BIG problem with that in CA.

 

[DChristian112]

25 Now.
7 Year old chld.
16 when she was conceived?
Kid is not yours- UNLESS- You are incorrect about the age YOu were. But, that is doubtful.
Contest paternity.

 

[fried eggs]

25 Now.
7 Year old chld.
16 when she was conceived?
Kid is not yours- UNLESS- You are incorrect about the age YOu were. But, that is doubtful.
Contest paternity.

Maybe he doesn't know the age of the child. It wouldn't surprise me.

 

[theother]

And why, after all this time, would you let a little INNOCENT child think you are her father and now you're looking for a way to financially dump her off because you have kids that you are "CERTAIN" are yours?

It's not your daughter's fault that she's here and for you to parade yourself around like you're her father and now that you have a wife and more kids, you think this little girl's feelings(and financial future) are expendable?

So.....you want out from underneath this because of the "$700"? Is your child not worth $700 to you? Well, in some states after a certain amount of time has passed, even if you prove the child isn't yours, you still have to pay. And it would serve you right to have to keep on paying.

Children shouldn't have to suffer financially because you were too lazy to get a DNA test in the first place. You make it sound like you questioned it from the get-go. From what you've paid out you could've paid for a DNA test 10 times over probably. I don't know what they cost and I hope they're expensive. You should have to pay out the ass for what you are trying to do to this little girl after all this time.

And why did your mother want to accuse the bio mom of child molestation? So you could get custody and not have to pay the support or because she thought it was really going on?

That was a little harsh, don't you think? The poster never said that he was parading around as the child's father. He said that some time later they came after him for her welfare reimbursement. For all we know, the mother took off with the kid and never contacted him except for the money. As for the rest of it, the kid was sixteen. Give him a break. I personally don't agree with making someone pay CS for a child that isn't theirs. If he is the father, he would continue paying. If he isn't, than the mother would have to go after the real biodad. If the child doesn't get CS then that's the MOTHER's fault for not admitting who the real father is. Why should a man's children suffer because he has to pay for another man's child? The law is BS.

 

[mrseld]

In your opinion it was "harsh" and you are entitled to your opinion.

My whole problem is that he should've gone to establish paternity from the minute she pointed the finger at him and said, "The baby is yours" or "The child is yours" or whatever she said.

The next thing is..."he was only 16". Well, he thought he was a big enough man to have sex with a woman so let him be a big enough man to take responsibility for his actions. He knew that the potential result from his sexual encounter could be an unplanned (not to mention obviously unwanted) pregnancy.

And you may think the law is BS. Again, you are entitled to your opinion. But I think it's BS that in the middle of all this is a child stuck with a mother who goes around pointing the finger at more than one possibly "father" because she doesn't know who the hell it really is AND she is left with the two "potential fathers" both wanting to wash their hands of her.

 

[theother]

But I think it's BS that in the middle of all this is a child stuck with a mother who goes around pointing the finger at more than one possibly "father" because she doesn't know who the hell it really is AND she is left with the two "potential fathers" both wanting to wash their hands of her.

I totally agree that it sucks for the child, but I believe that is the mother's fault. I just don't think that someone should have to pay support for a child that isn't theirs. Now, if the guy was acting as a father and had a relationship with the child, I could see the argument. I still would have some lingering problems, but I could see the logic in that. But, if the father is treated as just a wallet in the child's life, than at least nab the correct father. The mother shouldn't be rewarded for successfully conning a guy for two years.

As for him being sixteen and taking responsibility for his actions: If he is the father, he will take responsibility. If he isn't, then it wasn't his action in the first place, so why should he be responsible? Just because he was too young and naive to know his legal rights? I'm sure all of us have made mistakes when it comes to family law, but few of us are not allowed to correct it or hope to change it for eighteen years.

 

[mrseld]

I know I quoted you as saying you thought the law was "BS". And I noticed you asked about his having to take responsibility for a child that isn't his.

I don't like it that a guy gets nailed for the responsibity for someone else's child. I agree with you that it is not right. But isn't that why, since we have the ability to find out for sure, that he should've RUN to the nearest DNA testing facility? What irritated me was that he didn't seem to be so bothered by the CS obligation all this time UNTIL he had a family of his own. Didn't you kind of get that feeling about it? I did. It made be think that he would just go merrily along paying the CS "if" it had not become some issue with his family/wife.

And yes, if it's his responsibility, he'll keep on paying. But if it's not, he's gotten himself in a little spot over it because he didn't pipe up and say something sooner. I do disagree that it is totally the mom's fault. If he could've kept his pants zipped, he wouldn't be in this guessing game. It was BOTH of them. They both willingly participated and now look at the mess it's snowballed into.

I can see your points. I really can. I just happen to have a few different thoughts on it.