Dumb Mistakes

[dyce71]

What is the name of your state? MS

I have been divorced for a little over ten months. We had an uncontested divorce. We went through his lawyer, I was unrepresented (1st mistake). My military ex-spouse told me that he had to have to physical custody of the children in order to get the higher living expences, but we would still have joint custody. I agree to this, cause the divorce papers stated that the children would live in the house with me, he would pay child support, and the basic visitations. Everything was fine until the boys went out of town to visit their father at his parents house for a couple of weeks before he left the state (2nd mistake). A couple of days before they were scheduled to come home, he called and said he was taking the boys out of state with him and they would live with him. Since the divorce papers said he had physical custody, I could not stop him from leaving the mainland. How do I get my boys back? I hired a lawyer who required that I pay him up front. Six months later, after numerous lies from the attorney, he had to finally admit that he had been unable to serve the ex. I took care of that and got him served and received more lies from my attorney, and discovered that he took my money and gambled it away. I am waiting for the attorney to refund the money, so that I can hire another. What is the best course of action? Any and all advice would used and appreciated. I just found out today that the ex is going to Iraq in the next couple of months. Since I have joint custody, he has to return them to me, right? He is threatening to send them to his parents and give them power of attorney. I haven't seen my children for over nine months, cause they have left the main land. He also would not let me have a summer visit with them, cause his parents flew all that way to visit them. I didn't get them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have gotten no visitation. He told me that if he gives me the boys while he is gone, I have to give them back when he comes back. I do not want to do that. What do I do? Please help!!!!!!!!! I wanna get physical custody back. I am afraid that, he might be trying to get full custody in the state he lives in now, before he goes to Iraq.

Thank you in advance for all your help!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MS

I have been divorced for a little over ten months. We had an uncontested divorce. We went through his lawyer, I was unrepresented (1st mistake). My military ex-spouse told me that he had to have to physical custody of the children in order to get the higher living expences, but we would still have joint custody. I agree to this, cause the divorce papers stated that the children would live in the house with me, he would pay child support, and the basic visitations. Everything was fine until the boys went out of town to visit their father at his parents house for a couple of weeks before he left the state (2nd mistake). A couple of days before they were scheduled to come home, he called and said he was taking the boys out of state with him and they would live with him. Since the divorce papers said he had physical custody, I could not stop him from leaving the mainland. How do I get my boys back? I hired a lawyer who required that I pay him up front. Six months later, after numerous lies from the attorney, he had to finally admit that he had been unable to serve the ex. I took care of that and got him served and received more lies from my attorney, and discovered that he took my money and gambled it away. I am waiting for the attorney to refund the money, so that I can hire another. What is the best course of action? Any and all advice would used and appreciated. I just found out today that the ex is going to Iraq in the next couple of months. Since I have joint custody, he has to return them to me, right? He is threatening to send them to his parents and give them power of attorney. I haven't seen my children for over nine months, cause they have left the main land. He also would not let me have a summer visit with them, cause his parents flew all that way to visit them. I didn't get them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have gotten no visitation. He told me that if he gives me the boys while he is gone, I have to give them back when he comes back. I do not want to do that. What do I do? Please help!!!!!!!!! I wanna get physical custody back. I am afraid that, he might be trying to get full custody in the state he lives in now, before he goes to Iraq.

Thank you in advance for all your help!

Ok...you have made some pretty serious mistakes and have allowed your ex to get away with some pretty big things. Its time for you to wake up and stop allowing that to happen.

Your first mistake was not having your own attorney when you divorced. He conned you into giving him primary custody when you had absolutely no need to do so.

Your second mistake was allowing him to take the children out of state without taking swift and decisive action the moment he told you that he was going to do that.

Now you are approaching a third crisis and you can't afford to make another mistake. You do not have time to wait for that nebulous someday when your first attorney refunds your retainer that he possibly gambled away. You need another attorney and you need one now. Borrow the money from someone if you have to, but DO NOT WAIT.

You have joint custody of your children. Your ex has absolutely no legal right of any kind to even attempt to leave them with his parents while he goes to Iraq. You already know he is going. You need to be filing a petition NOW, for the children to be placed in your physical custody while he is gone. If you don't act now, then you could find yourself in another situation where time is just ticking away.

 

[dyce71]

Good news

Just thought I would post some good news. I get the kids back at the end of this month. I get physical custody back. I would like to thank the school system for that one. They require custody papers to say that you have physical custody of the kids before they will allow you to enroll them in school, and they keep a copy on file in their records. So, with no fight at all, he has agreed to sign the papers. I have really learned my lesson. I have found a wonderful lawyer (didn't think it was possible). She is honest and straight forward.

I just wanted to say thank you for your advice.

 

[lonelyandsad]

way to go!

and i hope you reprted your lawyer.he deserves to be stripped of his law license.and severly punished.

 

[Britlandco]

Wondering how your ex lives with himself!

 

[dyce71]

I have already contacted the bar association in my state about my ex-attorney, whom I fired over a month ago, who has yet to submit anything removing himself as my lawyer. Just gives me more fuel for the fire. As for the ex-spouse, he got to learn what a single mother goes through and has a better understanding. He wanted the papers written the way they were so he could control me. He sent me several emails listing demands that i had to do to get my children back. The ultimate goal was to get me back, but I wouldn't budge. And I really wanted to, I love my children and it was tearing me apart not being there for the first day of school for the 5 year old, missing both of their birthdays. But, I get my kids back and the only way he can take them back is to take me to court, and I am ready for that too. I am so happy I can't sleep, nothing bothers me any more. Now all I want to do is help people like me who make dumb mistakes.