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Emergency Hearing

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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
You say that you and his mother get to decide what school the child attends. What happens if you don't agree? I suspect this child will be home schooled through the local public school system.

Furthermore, it doesn't appear that you asked for anything that you didn't have, except for joint legal, which is the norm.
 


CJane

Senior Member
You say that you and his mother get to decide what school the child attends. What happens if you don't agree? I suspect this child will be home schooled through the local public school system.

Furthermore, it doesn't appear that you asked for anything that you didn't have, except for joint legal, which is the norm.

Exactly. Mom retained placement, kept all of her parenting time (and hence, all the opportunities to "ruin" the child), and now y'all have to agree on a school - which means you'll be driving a LOT to get him back and forth to Mom's, he'll be in a "horrible" school (but hey, you just wanted him not to be homeschooled, so WIN!), or he'll be homeschooled.

So you paid your attorney, had a hearing, and walked away with exactly what you walked in with. And, since you'll now have a new order, EVERYTHING that you claimed was a big huge deal is now water under the bridge.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Exactly. Mom retained placement, kept all of her parenting time (and hence, all the opportunities to "ruin" the child), and now y'all have to agree on a school - which means you'll be driving a LOT to get him back and forth to Mom's, he'll be in a "horrible" school (but hey, you just wanted him not to be homeschooled, so WIN!), or he'll be homeschooled.

So you paid your attorney, had a hearing, and walked away with exactly what you walked in with. And, since you'll now have a new order, EVERYTHING that you claimed was a big huge deal is now water under the bridge.

Sounds about right to me!

The phrase "be careful what you wish for" springs to mind.
 

bigql83

Member
The order states that we have joint custody, mother has primary custody, and I have secondary. Mother has to add me to birth certificate, I need this so that I can provide medical insurance, the mother hasn't provided insurance for the child in 3 years.

I have to provide transportation for kid if he attends school in my district, which is the far better school. My son wants to attend this school over the one in his mother's district. Me and his mother are negotiating a different schedule where he is with me Sunday evening until Friday evening, and she gets him most weekends, holidays and half of the summer.

The lawyer needs to know what we'll decide by Monday because the order has to be filed Tuesday. Also the judge ordered that she can't move out of state without providing me a written notice 90 days in advance.

I wish the lawyer asked for more but I'm satisfied, I didn't think that the judge was going to give me the final say in which school he'd go to. So even if he ends up at the school in his mom's district it will still be better than her attempt at home school.
 

bigql83

Member
Exactly. Mom retained placement, kept all of her parenting time (and hence, all the opportunities to "ruin" the child), and now y'all have to agree on a school - which means you'll be driving a LOT to get him back and forth to Mom's, he'll be in a "horrible" school (but hey, you just wanted him not to be homeschooled, so WIN!), or he'll be homeschooled.

So you paid your attorney, had a hearing, and walked away with exactly what you walked in with. And, since you'll now have a new order, EVERYTHING that you claimed was a big huge deal is now water under the bridge.

I have the final say in all educational, legal, medical and religious matters.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The order states that we have joint custody, mother has primary custody, and I have secondary. Mother has to add me to birth certificate, I need this so that I can provide medical insurance, the mother hasn't provided insurance for the child in 3 years.
Something you could have done all along...

I have to provide transportation for kid if he attends school in my district, which is the far better school. My son wants to attend this school over the one in his mother's district. Me and his mother are negotiating a different schedule where he is with me Sunday evening until Friday evening, and she gets him most weekends, holidays and half of the summer.
Mom's not giving you kiddo for that much of the time (yes, the crystal ball was clear on that.)

The lawyer needs to know what we'll decide by Monday because the order has to be filed Tuesday. Also the judge ordered that she can't move out of state without providing me a written notice 90 days in advance.
Great, all she has to do is say "I'm leaving in 90 days" and it's done. Again, this is nothing more than you already had, realistically speaking.

I wish the lawyer asked for more but I'm satisfied, I didn't think that the judge was going to give me the final say in which school he'd go to. So even if he ends up at the school in his mom's district it will still be better than her attempt at home school.
I'll say it again, kiddo is going to be home schooled...just watch.
 

bigql83

Member
Something you could have done all along...
I couldn't add him to my insurance because I wasn't listed as his father in his birth certificate. Mother refused to add me to it, didn't have paperwork stating that I had legal custody so I couldnt add myself to it.

Mom's not giving you kiddo for that much of the time (yes, the crystal ball was clear on that.)
It's her idea, but I know that after she talks to people and realize that it'll threaten her child support amount she'll most likely change her mind.

Great, all she has to do is say "I'm leaving in 90 days" and it's done. Again, this is nothing more than you already had, realistically speaking.
That gives me enough time to take her to court to contest the move or come up with an alternate visitation plan. Before she could have just left, it's hard to serve someone in another state.

I'll say it again, kiddo is going to be home schooled...just watch.
The judge ordered that he has to be enrolled Tuesday, her homeschooling him is not an option.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The judge ordered that he has to be enrolled Tuesday, her homeschooling him is not an option.

A child can be enrolled and still home-schooled.

https://ed.sc.gov/districts-schools/state-accountability/home-schooling/


But, hey, you "...got everything..." that you asked for. Yay
 

CJane

Senior Member
I have the final say in all educational, legal, medical and religious matters.

It is impossible to enforce an order wherein one parent has a majority of the time/primary custody and the OTHER parent has "final say". It is also, quite often, considered contrary to public policy to award joint legal custody while giving one parent final say.

AND, if you really had "final say", why on earth would the judge order you and Mom to work out where the child would go to school? If you have "final say", you can just say "Child will attend X school." And that would be the end of that.

Honestly, I don't think you understand what happened in court. And if this is REALLY what the judge ordered, it is impossible to enforce/abide by. I am speaking as someone whose ex had "final say" in all matters, as you believe you do, but *I* had primary physical custody (60% time). It was modified by the judge at the first opportunity, because it was unworkable. In fact, the judge said "Who signed off on this?!" (it was him).

I also sincerely doubt Mom is going to give up primary custody voluntarily. Why would she risk that, so that you could avoid driving the child to school when you just took her to court in an attempt to get exactly that ordered?

If Mom enrolled the child in a K12 online school, he would be enrolled in a "public school", AND be homeschooled.

Finally, the judge ordered that Mom retain primary custody. I don't anticipate said judge being entirely pleased if you present an order for signature that makes YOU primary custodian. The judge, after all, seems to think the opposite is in the child's best interests. If you want the child enrolled in your district, which is what you apparently wanted, then you're going to have to figure out transportation.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Now we KNOW you are a bold-faced liar.

Yeap. Or, as CJane suspects, he's simply not able to understand what actually happened. Maybe he wanted things to go a certain way, but you know what that and 25c will buy you.

:D
 

HRZ

Senior Member
Well I would call it in favor of Dad you get the child enrolled in the better school ...and if necessary you have a Uber or equivalent driver cover the runs you cannot cover. ...I'm actually surprised at how reasonable it is to use such services .

And if my guess is right about the quality of the other options, you need to find a way to make the better school option happen. And you seem to be quite certain that Moms choices are not in best interest of child...so suck it up and do what is best for child .
 
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