Enough?

[Ohiogal]

sorry- I didn't mention - he is 10, a rather timid 10

At 10, the court would probably say that he is old enough to be able to remain in the yard and know good touch/bad touch and to stay away from strangers. So the unsupervised (if you mean dad and sm are in the trailer) may not get you very far. Not trying to be critical but rather just point out that on a few issues it is an uphill battle -- the unsupervised and the obesity.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think good attornies could argue both sides of the issue. I know that, in my experience, an aquaintance was ordered by CPS to take her daughter to a nutritionist to be evaluated for a 'root cause' of her daughter's obesity... granted, this was after CPS was already involved in her life. The child was found, by a nurtionist, an endocrinologist, and a general practitioner to be severely malnourished. CPS informed the mother of the child that the child must have follow-up visits w/the physicians at regular intervals and must show 'marked improvement' in nutrition and health, or she would be removed from the home due to neglect.

Good attorneys could but do you have money to pay them to do so? Proving the root cause of obesity takes a lot of money. Between leptin/gherelin, diet, genetics and various other factors, there are various experts involved and to be completely unbiased, an expert would have to testify that the reason why Z's child is obese is due to neglect. That would bring Z into the mix and possibly into a CPS investigation. Because a child's habits everywhere would be looked at it.
A child solely being obese is NOT neglect. In the case you cited, CPS was already involved. There had to be other reasons for CPS to be there -- be it the parent was already under investigation for dependency, neglect or abuse. And one chlid in a very different situation does not make a pattern of neglect based on obesity.

 

[Zephyr]

Those two issues I was sure on there own would not carry too much weight- I had previously ask about the sex offender issue here, but with everything else I thought they might paint a more clear picture of dad not necessarily acting in the child's best interests.

 

[CJane]

Good attorneys could but do you have money to pay them to do so? Proving the root cause of obesity takes a lot of money. Between leptin/gherelin, diet, genetics and various other factors, there are various experts involved and to be completely unbiased, an expert would have to testify that the reason why Z's child is obese is due to neglect. That would bring Z into the mix and possibly into a CPS investigation. Because a child's habits everywhere would be looked at it.
A child solely being obese is NOT neglect. In the case you cited, CPS was already involved. There had to be other reasons for CPS to be there -- be it the parent was already under investigation for dependency, neglect or abuse. And one chlid in a very different situation does not make a pattern of neglect based on obesity.

I agree that it would be expensive, and that there are many causes of obesity. And yes, I'm a freak when it comes to stuff like this BECAUSE my family history is full of obese people. I watch every piece of food that goes into my kids' mouths when they're at my house because I want them to be able to make healthy choices later, and I will NOT inflict obesity upon them as children.

However, I think that a strong argument could be made that regardless of the cause of the obesity, the diet that dad allows the child to have contributes to a serious health issue - especially if a physician has already stated that the child is at high risk of developing diabetes. Ignoring such serious health issues, and not taking steps to ensure proper nutrition/weight loss in an at risk child (IMO) could be (and should be) considered neglect.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree that it would be expensive, and that there are many causes of obesity. And yes, I'm a freak when it comes to stuff like this BECAUSE my family history is full of obese people. I watch every piece of food that goes into my kids' mouths when they're at my house because I want them to be able to make healthy choices later, and I will NOT inflict obesity upon them as children.

However, I think that a strong argument could be made that regardless of the cause of the obesity, the diet that dad allows the child to have contributes to a serious health issue - especially if a physician has already stated that the child is at high risk of developing diabetes. Ignoring such serious health issues, and not taking steps to ensure proper nutrition/weight loss in an at risk child (IMO) could be (and should be) considered neglect.[/QUOTE]
Yes but CJane your opinion does not count. Only the courts opinion counts and I have yet to see case law in THIS type of situation that would support your contention. Find some and convince me. And it has to be in THIS type of situation and not an otherwise pending CPS case.
As for at risk for diabetes -- there are many factors there. Is there a family history of diabetes? Family history of obesity? Is this risk for type 1 or type 2 diabetes? Does the child have problems with insulin resistance? How obese is the child? What does Z feed the child on her time? Can Z prove that she is not feeding him any fast food or anything that could be considered unhealthy?
And no offense Cjane but being overly diligent about food can also lead to problems in your children. So please try to take an everything in moderation approach. I am not saying you are not but there is NOT a single food item that is going to cause a child to become obese. Even vegetarians have been known to be obese -- even morbidly obese.

 

[CJane]

Yes but CJane your opinion does not count. Only the courts opinion counts and I have yet to see case law in THIS type of situation that would support your contention. Find some and convince me. And it has to be in THIS type of situation and not an otherwise pending CPS case.

I'll look for some. And I DO see what you're saying. This is why I think that a GAL should be involved (a non-biased GAL since that's been an issue for Z in the past) in this case. Because even without case law, a GAL may find that the lifestyle at dad's house is more likely to contribute to continued health problems than the one in Z's.

As for at risk for diabetes -- there are many factors there. Is there a family history of diabetes? Family history of obesity? Is this risk for type 1 or type 2 diabetes? Does the child have problems with insulin resistance? How obese is the child? What does Z feed the child on her time? Can Z prove that she is not feeding him any fast food or anything that could be considered unhealthy?

Again, I understand that there are many contributing factors - again, something I have a strong family history of. Both diabetes, and other types of insulin resistance. And again, something that I think could be strongly argued that a certain lifestyle is contributing to an otherwise (possible) strong family history.

And no offense Cjane but being overly diligent about food can also lead to problems in your children. So please try to take an everything in moderation approach. I am not saying you are not but there is NOT a single food item that is going to cause a child to become obese. Even vegetarians have been known to be obese -- even morbidly obese.

No offense taken. I tend to try and teach the kids to listen to their bodies and eat if they're hungry... not just because it's lunch time. Stop when they're full. Don't eat dessert (or anything else) just because it's there. Make good snack choices (usually accomplished by not purchasing bad choices), etc. We don't eat fast food more than once every couple of months. Sugared drinks and cereals are limited, things like that.

 

[Zephyr]

well the child is not obese at this point- but there is some family history on both sides with diabetes, like I said dad does not fill me in- the only reason son saw that dr was because at one of our countless hearings I brought up the fact that to my knowledge son had not been to the dr for so much as a physical or the dentist for teeth cleaning in the year of living with CP....at the next hearing dad was proud to say he HAD taken son to DR and there were no issues except the dr had said to monitor and maintain the weight- even losing a few lbs would be ok- but if his weight continued to increase he could easily develop diabetes....like I said I wasn't there- that is what CP testified to


son does have occasional fast food with me but the healtier options NEVER anything as grease laden as a double cheeseburger- what I most focus on is portion control, which CP obviously does not if he is letting a 10 year old eat a burger that I wouldn't be able to finish


I was just looking at that issue as kind of "another drop in the bucket" issue- I think the biggest thing is CP refusal to coparent.....

an additional question that has come up- what are options regarding having the GAL replaced? I have no doubt that this GAL will never recommend anything my way....especially after basing the motion for reconsideration partly on GAL bias......

 

[Ohiogal]

well the child is not obese at this point- but there is some family history on both sides with diabetes, like I said dad does not fill me in- the only reason son saw that dr was because at one of our countless hearings I brought up the fact that to my knowledge son had not been to the dr for so much as a physical or the dentist for teeth cleaning in the year of living with CP....at the next hearing dad was proud to say he HAD taken son to DR and there were no issues except the dr had said to monitor and maintain the weight- even losing a few lbs would be ok- but if his weight continued to increase he could easily develop diabetes....like I said I wasn't there- that is what CP testified to

You were not there and that is a problem. You really need to get a copy of the doctor's records for your son. the fact that junior is not obese -- well there is not an issue then really. As for being at risk, many kids are and it does increase with weight HOWEVER other factors go into that. You may have been told the same thing had junior been living with you. Which is why I think that is a weak argument.

son does have occasional fast food with me but the healtier options NEVER anything as grease laden as a double cheeseburger- what I most focus on is portion control, which CP obviously does not if he is letting a 10 year old eat a burger that I wouldn't be able to finish

but some kids have big appetites at times. My six year old has at times eaten three bowls of macaroni and cheese when I can't eat one. And then wanted a snack two hours later. And she is not overweight. Other days she isn't hungry at all. If your ex is feeding your son this every day and never having healthier options then you might have a problem but then junior's health would also show it. Again not a criticism but you are grasping at straws with this argument -- especially considering the contempt you do have him on. What you feed junior and what ex feeds him -- they are parenting styles. Unless you can PROVE it is having a detriment currently you are not going to get anywhere.

I was just looking at that issue as kind of "another drop in the bucket" issue- I think the biggest thing is CP refusal to coparent.....

That is DEFINITELY the biggest thing. If you have joint custody and CP is NOT co-parenting then you need to take him to court for contempt and plead your case using that because THAT is what is important to the court. Could be's, maybe's, might be's don't matter. You need proof and this is your strongest issue. And it is the one that destroys joint custody and can cause custody to revert --- depending on how blatant the refusal is.


an additional question that has come up- what are options regarding having the GAL replaced? I have no doubt that this GAL will never recommend anything my way....especially after basing the motion for reconsideration partly on GAL bias......

Can you give a legal reason why the GAL should be replaced? How can you prove bias? Why do you believe the GAL is biased? There are guidelines that GALs must follow when they do a report. Did your GAL follow all of them?

 

[Zephyr]

Can you give a legal reason why the GAL should be replaced? How can you prove bias? Why do you believe the GAL is biased? There are guidelines that GALs must follow when they do a report. Did your GAL follow all of them?

No he did not follow all of them- but it didn't seem to matter during my motion for reconsideration. here is the link about it.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=309105

 

[stealth2]

what I most focus on is portion control, which CP obviously does not if he is letting a 10 year old eat a burger that I wouldn't be able to finish

My 12yo daughter has been able to eat more than I can for years. And she's thin as a rail. And when she's got a growth spurt going - she can out eat her teenage brother.

 

[Ohiogal]

No he did not follow all of them- but it didn't seem to matter during my motion for reconsideration. here is the link about it.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=309105

Specifics would help immensely. A motion for reconsideration basically asks the judge to relook at something because the law was applied wrong.
You are dealing with law and not facts. Facts are considered to be correct when found by a court. And that is a distinction many people dont like. One side says the judge believed her lies. Well in the court -- the lies have become fact. And you can't dispute them as lies once the court has found them as fact. Unless you have new evidence that proves they are lies.
That being said, do you know what the GAL stated in his report? What parts of that did you disagree with or believe show bias? I am still not sure on what the GAL did that you say shows bias. Is it as simple as he sided with your ex and they were both men? That is why the specifics are necessary. Like to help but can't do so without specifics Z.

 

[Zephyr]

Specifics would help immensely. A motion for reconsideration basically asks the judge to relook at something because the law was applied wrong.
You are dealing with law and not facts. Facts are considered to be correct when found by a court. And that is a distinction many people dont like. One side says the judge believed her lies. Well in the court -- the lies have become fact. And you can't dispute them as lies once the court has found them as fact. Unless you have new evidence that proves they are lies.
That being said, do you know what the GAL stated in his report? What parts of that did you disagree with or believe show bias? I am still not sure on what the GAL did that you say shows bias. Is it as simple as he sided with your ex and they were both men? That is why the specifics are necessary. Like to help but can't do so without specifics Z.

Totally see what you're saying- no, lol, no gender issues. The only thing the GAL stated in his recommendation was that son had adjusted to being at dad's and should stay there- nothing about any qualties of parenting- either way- nothing about home set up either way- and he did not do any further investigationon anything after his initial recommendation even though the case was still going on for another 6 months even though I called him several times regarding being denied visits or phone calls, or the fact that dad and gf threw all of the x-mas presents out their door at me and said son didn't need them- in front of son. He met with son and dad at least 8 times and me 2 times.

I did get a little snappy with him- which probably is the reason for this- but he actually said to me on the phone- oh (son's name) I have to get him back on the active pile**************I was quite irritated with that and told him so.

 

[Ohiogal]

Totally see what you're saying- no, lol, no gender issues. The only thing the GAL stated in his recommendation was that son had adjusted to being at dad's and should stay there- nothing about any qualties of parenting- either way- nothing about home set up either way- and he did not do any further investigationon anything after his initial recommendation even though the case was still going on for another 6 months even though I called him several times regarding being denied visits or phone calls, or the fact that dad and gf threw all of the x-mas presents out their door at me and said son didn't need them- in front of son. He met with son and dad at least 8 times and me 2 times.

I did get a little snappy with him- which probably is the reason for this- but he actually said to me on the phone- oh (son's name) I have to get him back on the active pile**************I was quite irritated with that and told him so.

The thing is denial of visitation is a contempt issue for a court to decide if your visitation was denied. The GAL cannot make that decision. Parenting styles are different and are very subjective. Qualities of parenting -- apparently he based it on the relationship between your son and your ex. And because your son had been there he stated the child should stay there.
Getting snappy with a GAL can hurt big time because it makes the complaining party look irrational or tempermental. Did he see you with your son both those times? Dad and GF should not have thrown the xmas presents out the door -- however again that is something between you and dad and not son and dad -- and something for the court to decide upon. A GAL's role is very limited. Based on everything you said it can't hurt to try to go back to court for modifications but it is going to depend on what you want modified.

 

[casa]

My 12yo daughter has been able to eat more than I can for years. And she's thin as a rail. And when she's got a growth spurt going - she can out eat her teenage brother.

LOL... I eat like a LUMBERJACK (more than the men I know) and haven't changed size/weight my entire life...even after children & being in my late 30s! My sister however, struggles with her weight & watches everything she eats. She got Dad's metabolism & I got Mom's.