EX can't pick up kids... what to do?

[candi4687]

You are making this a complete JOKE!
I personally have documentaton of 25 DV charges. He has went to jail for them and he has taken anger management classes in result of the charges.
I WAS in public housing and due to back problems and cancer plus taking care of my children while recieving no child support it was a difficult time paying bills.
My children do NOT sleep on the floor. they each have a bed. I said they have had friends over and had slept on a pallet in the floor or on a couch, loveseat, or chase durring those times. Ever heard of camping? OMG I guess those people who do that neglect their children.
Yes my bills are paid in KY and no thats NOT because of the child support payments.
I moved to escape HIS harassment and abuse and yes the best way was to move with my boyfriend and NO I never cheated on my husband...( I SOMETIMES WISH I WOULD HAVE!!!) matter of fact I was not even allowed to have friends except his own.
I don't know why he moved so I can not say.
I have plenty of family of which helped me through this ordeal and has been there by our side when he was not around for months at a time.
I was NEVER ordered transportation nor will I ever ask him for help in it.
I have 1 car but I think that my fiance needs to work more than I since he is in the army and he will face punishment for not showing.
The exchange of children were set to the Sheriff's dept. because he tried to break my wrist while taking our children from me on x-mas one year (WHILE HOLDING MY SON).
The ONLY time I have EVER called him is to find out about visitation and he refuses to tell me it's none of my buisness so I quit doing that.
Since when is it harrasment when the state picks you up for non payment of child support?
We WONT even talk about how many women I PERSONALLY caught him with while we were married! Lets just say you don't have enough fingers

The rest just shows that you know NOTHING but seem to THINK you know it ALL... Get a Life

 

[Ambr]

Your order is really "generic" for lack of a better word. It doesn't specifically state that parents and parents alone are to make the exchanges.

Would it be such a big deal for either of you to be able to appoint someone to help out with exchanges every once in a while. To be honest, if he asked for it - especially if using work times as the excuse - a judge would more than likely grant it.

I know the main problem is that they are going to grandmas house and you have concerns with it. And you have concerns about their well being while at Grandmas.

Have the kids been at grandmas alone before?
Have you ever voiced concerns before?

With the problems being in the past, if you have known they were spending time there since the previous problems and you haven't really complained about it before or voiced concerns about it before this ---- it is really going to look like you just want to complicate the transportation / exchanges.

 

[candi4687]

I don't have a say as to where our children stay after he picks them up but he ask me two weeks ago and for this weekend comming up to drop them off at his mothers home at 6pm because he could not make it there in time. My opinions and worries have been noted but since that is not where they stay (supposedly) the judge said nothing more about the matter. I tried to compromise that since I was having to hurry there to meet him and since he was working supposedly having problems getting there even though he gets off at 4:30 that we exchange the kids at a later time but he said No. I am not a heartless bi*** I just don't see why I am accountable If I don't show but yet he can do as he wishes as long as he can get someone else to do his job. My daughter gets home at 2:45 I feed them a snack and have to have their bags packed to get on the road by 3:30pm. We live 85 miles away but have to take the interstate so that is around 140 miles but well worth it as far as time goes. He gets off work at 4:30 and has to drive about 66 miles to this town but thats too hard for him? All I am asking is why is it that its hell no for me but I have to compramise for him. For now I know it has to be this way but do I have a chance of having this modified in court for BOTH of our benefits?

 

[Ambr]

It's not really no for you, but okay for him.

Sounds like you could have anybody take them as well, if you wanted to exercise that option. Can't speak for your ex, but I wouldn't care who was transporting my kids to me - as long as I got to see them, and they were safe (guess I would have a problem if say a habitual drunk, or someone who lots of speeding tickets, careless driving tickets, etc was the one driving).

If you are totally against it though --- file for a modification. You can ask that it be him and him alone that does exchanges (He can fight that one, and probably win - especially considering this is extended family). You can ask to limit the contact with grandma because of your concerns....but you are going to need a lot of proof for that one. Can you prove that your concerns are legit.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

YOU made the probelm by moving out of state without legal notice.
You are responsible for transportation, because YOU moved out of state.
YOU have to drive to return the children to the place the court ordered, because YOU moved out of state without permission. YOu should have thought about that before you moved. You don't have transportation because you didn't intend on your ex exercizing his visitation rights. You are not working because you found someone to pay your way for the time being.
He can have anyone he designates collect or drop off the child according to the order and it is a good idea so you don't continue to make accusations against him.
You lied about the reasons you moved. What are you going to do when your boyfriend gets transferred move again without notice and play dumb again?
You are right about one thing only, it is no joke and you are walking on thin ice and the judge can see through your scemes and scams, you are not the first nor the last to try.

 

[candi4687]

Hello.... do you read ANYTHING rmet4nzkx?????
This is not about me getting there!!! I have transportation, we have to make sacrifices and juggle a few things as far as while my fiance is working and I have to take the kids to meet him. I am responsible for the transportation and I PAY IT! READ INSTEAD OF STICKING YOUR NOSE IN THE AIR ASSUMING YOU KNOW EVERY DAMN THING! Guess what if you would remember HE HAS ALSO MOVED WITHOUT "PERMISSION" the thing is now I have documents backing me up that ,even though it was after the fact, I gave him notice and the 30 days to petition my move! HE FAILED TO DO ANYTHING!!!!
As far as the rest you have no damn clue and OBVIOUSLY don't care nor will you even take time to consider you are WRONG!

I am not like the other people here because EACH CASE/PERSON IS DIFFERENT.

Post what you like.. I am tired of playing games with someone so self absorbed that you THINK you can't be wrong about someone or something.


*****As to AMBR thank you advise and opinions and I will check into that. I am planning on bringing this all out when we go to court the next time. I don't have "PROOF" because it is just my word against theirs so it's not going to help.

 

[LdiJ]

You are making this a complete JOKE!
I personally have documentaton of 25 DV charges. He has went to jail for them and he has taken anger management classes in result of the charges.
I WAS in public housing and due to back problems and cancer plus taking care of my children while recieving no child support it was a difficult time paying bills.
My children do NOT sleep on the floor. they each have a bed. I said they have had friends over and had slept on a pallet in the floor or on a couch, loveseat, or chase durring those times. Ever heard of camping? OMG I guess those people who do that neglect their children.
Yes my bills are paid in KY and no thats NOT because of the child support payments.
I moved to escape HIS harassment and abuse and yes the best way was to move with my boyfriend and NO I never cheated on my husband...( I SOMETIMES WISH I WOULD HAVE!!!) matter of fact I was not even allowed to have friends except his own.
I don't know why he moved so I can not say.
I have plenty of family of which helped me through this ordeal and has been there by our side when he was not around for months at a time.
I was NEVER ordered transportation nor will I ever ask him for help in it.
I have 1 car but I think that my fiance needs to work more than I since he is in the army and he will face punishment for not showing.
The exchange of children were set to the Sheriff's dept. because he tried to break my wrist while taking our children from me on x-mas one year (WHILE HOLDING MY SON).
The ONLY time I have EVER called him is to find out about visitation and he refuses to tell me it's none of my buisness so I quit doing that.
Since when is it harrasment when the state picks you up for non payment of child support?
We WONT even talk about how many women I PERSONALLY caught him with while we were married! Lets just say you don't have enough fingers

The rest just shows that you know NOTHING but seem to THINK you know it ALL... Get a Life

Hon, calm down and take a big deep breath. Yes, there are a couple of people on this board who persist in seeing the most evil motives in every mom who has a problem. Please don't let that faze you....because they pretty much treat all mom's that way. Now, lets clear up a few points. Your move was not illegal and the fact that you messed up providing him the proper documentation is not a big deal. It is not a big deal because HE MOVED TOO, and because you are still maintaining the same visitation schedule with pickups and dropoffs at the same place.

If he had stayed put and/or you hadn't honored the court orders, THEN it might be able to be made into a big deal...however that isn't the case.

As far as him being the one to pick up and drop off.....that is trickier. Your orders are silent on the issue. Because your orders are silent on the issue you can't be held in contempt if you don't allow someone else to pick up......however if he takes it back to court its likely that a judge will order that other members of the family can provide transportation. Therefore, you have to decide if its worth the battle.....particularly if you believe that he is normally a no-show.

 

[candi4687]

Thanks LdiJ,
I appreciate people's opinions its just some don't offer that they just want to criticize others no matter what the situation REALLY is. I don't like having to ask these questions on here but I can't afford another attorney for this mess.

Sorry to all have read this thread for it turning out this way. I just did not want to do the wrong thing and be going against the court orders.

I am going to go there and wait for them (him or his family) and I will allow them to pick up the kids THIS time. I feel that if my ex is having problems with his work schedule he needs to have the orders modified or at least TRY to come to an agreement on a visitation time change. I amm going to tell them that this is for ONE time. and any other time either himself or his wife should be the ones to pick up the children because HE is the one responsible and I don't want to be dragging my kids around to everyone's house to wait on their dad. Of course this is only until he has visitations modified or when we return to court on 29 MAR 05.
Is this ok?