Ex decided he wants visitation

[Serenity2009]

Well, I suspect a judge is going to take a dim view of this entire situation. Whether it is your intent or not, the effect of your actions is to make it more difficult for your ex to spend time with HIS child outside of your presence. As well as making it more traumatic for your daughter to spend time with her father. That is not going to result in a favorable recommendation for you, to be honest. 6

Personally, I always felt it important for my kids to at least feel comfortable with someone else - what if (God forbid!) something were to happen to me where I could not be there to care for them (catastrophic medical event, for example)?

It was never my intention to make if difficult for my ex to spend time with our daughter, as I said I offered to meet him so he could get to know her however he refused. I don't think it would be wise for any child to simply go with a parent who they don't know.

Yes my daughter has sever separation issues, however as she does not know him, (not my fault his choice) it really does not matter at this point, I will take steps to help her get over it though, I'm awaiting a return call from EI, as I heard of a program for children from 6weeks and up that may help.

I honestly had never thought of it as a problem or a big deal, my older two did the same and no longer have issues, my eldest transitioned into preschool and kindergarten with no problems.

I talked with my lawyer... He said my offer to meet my ex was good, shows I'm not trying to keep our daughter from him, just look out for her. We'll be asking for visitations to begin as such and move from there given my ex shows a consistent interest in our daughter. He was not consistent with his oldest daughter and he is not consistent with our son's visitations. My lawyer suggests this is in our daughters best interest.

 

[stealth2]

Good luck. But don't assume the judge will agree.

 

[Serenity2009]

Good luck. But don't assume the judge will agree.

LOL I don't assume anything in regards to family court. I meet with my lawyer Monday to work out exactly what we will ask for.

 

[MichaCA]

I'm also a single mother from when the child born, and the dad didn't show up much the first year. Then he served me with papers...

advice already given but I really agree with, and judges are familiar with is asking for a graduated visitation plan. Even though he is her father, and your intent is for them to bond, the reality right now is he is a stranger to her. So ask if the beg visits could be very short, and possibly even with you around (not hovering). *the with you around at the very first is not something a judge will always like, my motto is it never hurts to ask.

I also agree its good for a baby with the solo bond to have other people to bond with in general...because you need to take care of you. I was able to hire a girl to come once a week for 3 or 4 hours. They really bonded and it became very easy to leave baby with her.

You can pump breastmilk and put that in a bottle or sippy cup.
One thing my daughter happened to like was a herb tea, mixed with half juice and some honey, in a sippy cup. She loved that drink and I would send that off on transitions.

In court, you can also ask for some co-parenting counseling for you and dad.