Ex Has Unstable Life

[LdiJ]

Guys and Gals,

I see one potential issue that may make emergency orders appropriate.

It appears that the truancy officer for the children's school has gotten involved because the children are missing significant amounts of school on dad's time. That is something serious because that often gets CPS involved in the children's lives and can even cause a parent to go to jail.

That is the one thing in this entire scenario that might legitimately be a valid reason to head to court for an emergency order to suspend overnights. If he doesn't have them overnight he cannot cause them to miss school.

 

[Ohiogal]

Guys and Gals,

I see one potential issue that may make emergency orders appropriate.

It appears that the truancy officer for the children's school has gotten involved because the children are missing significant amounts of school on dad's time. That is something serious because that often gets CPS involved in the children's lives and can even cause a parent to go to jail.

That is the one thing in this entire scenario that might legitimately be a valid reason to head to court for an emergency order to suspend overnights. If he doesn't have them overnight he cannot cause them to miss school.

Mom is the custodian per her. MOM would be the one getting in trouble for truancy. HER demand they look at dad is ridiculous. And quite frankly that is not a legitimate reason to have an EMERGENCY hearing on suspending overnights. These children are NOT school age. They are 4.5 and 2. No one is going to be put her in jail for the children missing daycare.

 

[Ohiogal]

Mom is the custodian per her. MOM would be the one getting in trouble for truancy. HER demand they look at dad is ridiculous. And quite frankly that is not a legitimate reason to have an EMERGENCY hearing on suspending overnights. These children are NOT school age. They are 4.5 and 2. No one is going to be put her in jail for the children missing daycare.

Edit is not working. I was wrong. The daughter is 6. Got the ages wrong. I will say this -- this is NOT an emergency hearing because mom waited until the children missed 15 days without an excuse. Her delay does not make this an excuse. If she cared, she could have filed after the children missed 5 days or 6 days or 7 days... But right now, while the court could progress, I highly doubt they will see this as an emergency. And in many states, truancy is NOT a CPS matter.

 

[LdiJ]

Edit is not working. I was wrong. The daughter is 6. Got the ages wrong. I will say this -- this is NOT an emergency hearing because mom waited until the children missed 15 days without an excuse. Her delay does not make this an excuse. If she cared, she could have filed after the children missed 5 days or 6 days or 7 days... But right now, while the court could progress, I highly doubt they will see this as an emergency. And in many states, truancy is NOT a CPS matter.

We will have to agree to disagree on truancy.

 

[Zigner]

Maybe the better wording is that its unlikely that a judge would view this as something requiring emergency action. Emergency orders ARE a legitimate legal reality.

Since Monday is a holiday, this isn't going to be in court on Tuesday.

 

[FrustratedMom16]

Well, just spoke with lawyer finally. She told me to offer visits, not overnight, which I had already done. Ex refused so she told me to keep them and let him file a motion. I guess her thinking is even if I am violating an order, he's already violated like 5 so they can't do much to me without doing something to him. I will update you on how this works out for me.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, just spoke with lawyer finally. She told me to offer visits, not overnight, which I had already done. Ex refused so she told me to keep them and let him file a motion. I guess her thinking is even if I am violating an order, he's already violated like 5 so they can't do much to me without doing something to him. I will update you on how this works out for me.

I hope he files contempt against you and you are found in such. If you really wanted to do the right thing, you should have filed contempt. But whatever. Keep on going since you believe you are golden.

 

[CTU]

Well, just spoke with lawyer finally. She told me to offer visits, not overnight, which I had already done. Ex refused so she told me to keep them and let him file a motion. I guess her thinking is even if I am violating an order, he's already violated like 5 so they can't do much to me without doing something to him. I will update you on how this works out for me.

Gosh, some of these "magical attorneys" don't seem to know much about the law.

Laughable.

Predictable.

 

[Ohiogal]

Gosh, some of these "magical attorneys" don't seem to know much about the law.

Laughable.

Predictable.

Yeah. Her committing contempt is not erased because he did something wrong. Not at all. She has done nothing about his contempt. She just wants to deny dad because she is GOLDEN. She isn't. She could actually lose custody if dad fights it because depriving visitation is about the worst that can happen.

 

[FrustratedMom16]

You know, I've been nice as I can be. I let him have 40/50 despite him abusing me. I thought he would change. Then he terrorized me and my son and I had to get the DVO. I let him pay about 200 a month less in child support. Gave him a majority of marital property. And I've had every legal right to take him to court since May but he asked for time, I gave it to him. However, smoking around the kids, hopping from home to home, these are unacceptable. I did not deny visits, I was denying overnights. And I am weary of my lawyer saying not to give him the kids. But she was so certain about it. I doubt I would be the one who would get in trouble for following my legal counseling's directions. And I would never lose kids to him because he mostly wants them so he can ask to pay less support. He ditches them all the time. Acting like I think I'm golden for having concern but his entire family has ditched him and he is practically homeless. At what point did we stop expecting men to be responsible adults and instead started bashing the mothers who do everything they can for their kids?

 

[cbg]

You know that 40/50 doesn't add up to 100, right? Who gets the other 10%?

 

[CTU]

You know, I've been nice as I can be. I let him have 40/50 despite him abusing me. I thought he would change. Then he terrorized me and my son and I had to get the DVO. I let him pay about 200 a month less in child support. Gave him a majority of marital property. And I've had every legal right to take him to court since May but he asked for time, I gave it to him. However, smoking around the kids, hopping from home to home, these are unacceptable. I did not deny visits, I was denying overnights. And I am weary of my lawyer saying not to give him the kids. But she was so certain about it. I doubt I would be the one who would get in trouble for following my legal counseling's directions. And I would never lose kids to him because he mostly wants them so he can ask to pay less support. He ditches them all the time. Acting like I think I'm golden for having concern but his entire family has ditched him and he is practically homeless. At what point did we stop expecting men to be responsible adults and instead started bashing the mothers who do everything they can for their kids?

Have you actually read what you wrote here? You ARE denying part of his visits. It's that simple.

You're blinded by naivete, and you need a reality check. You're not "golden". You are simply unable to comprehend that YOU are part of this mess and YOU can actually end up being the NCP. I don't know if it's willful ignorance, but you need to change your mindset and change it FAST.

FOCUS. And please, drop the martyr act. It's not a good look.

 

[CTU]

Yeah. Her committing contempt is not erased because he did something wrong. Not at all. She has done nothing about his contempt. She just wants to deny dad because she is GOLDEN. She isn't. She could actually lose custody if dad fights it because depriving visitation is about the worst that can happen.

This is what I don't understand. How on earth has this OP come to the conclusion that she'll skate because Dad also did something wrong? That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works.

 

[Ohiogal]

You know that 40/50 doesn't add up to 100, right? Who gets the other 10%?

The mailman. Maybe her new boyfriend.

 

[Ohiogal]

This is what I don't understand. How on earth has this OP come to the conclusion that she'll skate because Dad also did something wrong? That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works.

Don't know. Most older children know that two wrongs don't make a right. Three lefts can but not two wrongs. Apparently OP has not matured that far.